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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ijustcannotdoit · 15/04/2019 22:33

Has she replied?

GiantKitten · 15/04/2019 22:39

Very glad to read your latest update, OP.

Bloody well done Smile

Flowers
Mememeplease · 15/04/2019 22:54

You've so done the right thing even though I expect it hurts right now. Look on the bright side though - your nest egg is still intact.

I wonder how she'll react to losing her cash cow.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping
OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 15/04/2019 22:59

Do you have any mutual friends in common? I wonder if she will spread it around how terribly you've let her down. She will be the victim, no doubt about it.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 15/04/2019 23:04

Thanks for all your congratulatory messages!

I've found myself preening like a peacock after the first two dozen....Grin

Yes, I still have that lump in my throat, but I have a sense of .....wow, Ive made so many people happy today! How great is that? AND I've not been a mug!!

I really do appreciate that not only you cared to read and respond, but you were also there like a shot when I mentioned the phone call.

You are my saviours in this incident. Ill never forget the strength you gave me to override my usual settings and just cave in.

Wine FlowersCake

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 15/04/2019 23:05

I had a couple of holidays where you could just see nice, generous people being used by others. Being expected to pay bar bills, taxi fares, etc, and then swap contact details.

Being told they were 'lovely' (which they were) but nevertheless being used.

AutumnCrow · 15/04/2019 23:06

Well done again!

cstaff · 15/04/2019 23:10

Stay strong OP. You don't deserve this crap from anyone, let alone a so called friend.

You have done so well. Keep preening 😁

BentBaastard · 15/04/2019 23:13

Wow.

Well done.

You have just saved yourself £550.

You should definitely treat yourself to a little present.

BentBaastard · 15/04/2019 23:16

I always think of this sort of picture in my head when there’s a unanimous vote on a thread.

You are at the front and Mumsnet is behind you willing you on to be strong.

Housewarming gift price range?
LowLifeOpinions · 15/04/2019 23:38

Well done, OP. I slightly wish this had been in AIBU as you would have had 1000 messages saying NOPE right from the off, I think. Although maybe a lone voice trying (and failing) to be devils advocate....

AventaRizon · 15/04/2019 23:47

Just rtft in one go, hadn't seen it before tonight. Well done and hold your head up high for standing up to them. Cheeky swines.

I can't imagine why they thought anyone would be happy spending that much money on a housewarming gift. The most I've ever given is a set of very fancy wine glasses that were about £30, and that was to my best friend.

Original poster
NoCanoe · 15/04/2019 23:57

BentBaastard - I think that's how I did feel! Grin

It was akin to invisible strength.

OP posts:
SlipperOrchid · 15/04/2019 23:59

Well done OP. With their brass necks, they may well try to call you off guard using a different approach? Have you got call screening? If they withhold their number and catch you off guard, you may find the easiest thing to say without getting yourself into a muddle is that you have a friend staying and you were both just leaving the house. Be prepared. And OP very well done x

Original poster
NoCanoe · 15/04/2019 23:59

LowLifeOpinions- I never thought of AIBU, because I was pretty much convinced I was and it was my fault. Hence, a gentle lead in question......Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCanoe · 16/04/2019 00:02

SlipperOrchid - I was wondering the same myself.
I dont have call screening, so Im guessing I need to have a few strategies in the bag to pull out if caught unaware.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCanoe · 16/04/2019 00:06

AutumnCrow-I genuinely didnt notice anything on holiday. But then, I probably wouldn't unless it was blatant at such an early stage with strangers. And had it been, I wouldn't have kept in touch.

Very gradual, looking back. Smooth.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCanoe · 16/04/2019 00:27

And I've ordered dirty rotten scoundrels at suggestion of palominoo and witty. 😂

Did that the other night, so its not coming out of my £100!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCanoe · 16/04/2019 00:47

Off to bed.... bit later than intended, but I've actually read my whole thread in one.....and , Im sighing, Im not usually so whiney or pathetic.

But yes, I'm crap with boundaries.

When I started this thread, I was prepared to meekly honour my commitment...I think they were the words I used.

By the end of the thread, Im practically saying fuck you!!

Sometimes it needs other people - strangers- looking in, to help get your emotional or mental balance. Even just to guide your moral compass to tell you where true north is.

Im over using this phrase, but , thank you.
You have saved me 550. And who knows what else?

Im going to go bed and sleep well. I dont usually add kisses to end of any missive.

But. ....

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxWink

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 16/04/2019 01:04

Sleep tight Flowers

Someoneonlyyouknow · 16/04/2019 01:16

Yippee, I love a happy ending. OP you've been very brave in taking advice from strangers and, like everybody else, I'm so glad you have found the strength to dump these leeches from your life. You have also reflected back on your whole 'friendship' with them and can see a pattern of manipulation. Please don't blame yourself or doubt your own judgement in the future. They have been very clever and if they hadn't been quite so greedy this time, you might have paid. I'm sure you will be more suspicious in the future but I hope you will continue to judge people by your own standards and enjoy the friendship of people who do deserve your time.

Good luck.

Happynow001 · 16/04/2019 06:39

Well done NoCanoe
No more drama. The call got cancelled. The message was sent I couldn't help and saw no point sending the provisional £100 as it wouldn't rescue the curtain situation anyway.

I apologised for the situation but said I was very surprised they didn't think to check out that kind of price with me first.

Wished them all the best in their new home and hope all goes well.
Now block them on everything so they have no way of worming their way back into your good graces.

I've read your thread from the start and felt your struggles and I'm glad you've listened to the good advice from PPs on here.

It's sometimes hard to see when people are taking advantage until it's too late but you do need to strengthen your boundaries for the future - you really don't need "people" like this in your life. 🌹

CupoTeap · 16/04/2019 06:59

Well done op, I've just read through the whole thing like this 😲

Remember this feeling you can say NO.

Gitfeatures · 16/04/2019 07:02

I'm so relieved - anyone would think the £550 was coming out of my own pocket Grin

nespressowoo · 16/04/2019 07:04

Well done, OP. You've handled this with such grace and dignity Thanks