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Original poster

Housewarming gift price range?

835 replies

NoCanoe · 13/04/2019 17:10

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
IloveJudgeJudy · 14/04/2019 17:17

Another poster who doesn't usually engage in these types of threads, but I have to come on to urge the OP not to pay anything or only to pay whatever she would have for Christmas. The 'friendship' is over in any event so OP's paying won't change that; she would just save herself £00s that she can't afford as well as the relationship finishing. I liked a previous poster's reply and then blocking.

I'm so sorry that this has turned out the way it has. It surely hasn't been easy to realise Sad.

Please come back for more support if you get another reply.

iwantavuvezela · 14/04/2019 17:17

So pleased to hear that you are not going to be sending them ANY money Op. I was going to suggest if you did, to give an amount to a Homeless Shelter in their name - as they seem to need to learn the value of having a home and things rather than trying to squeeze you for this.

CornforthWhite · 14/04/2019 17:18

Hideous people. Send them this thread if they need an explanation.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping
CornforthWhite · 14/04/2019 17:19

Actually, just block. The fact they've sent you that reply just shows you that they are going to try and bully you. Please block. Please remove them from your life.

mummmy2017 · 14/04/2019 17:25

I hope they backtrack fast...
Selfish thing to do to the you

AwkwardSquad · 14/04/2019 17:29

Stand fast, OP Flowers

QueenofCBA · 14/04/2019 17:31

Well done, NoCanoe! You are an awesome, strong woman! Smile Flowers

Londongirl888 · 14/04/2019 17:35

Gosh OP they have shown you who they are believe them. The coldness of their reply says it all. This will make your decision easier Smile Do not engage further. Do not be embarrassed. Do not send any money and Block them. I suspect they will try and be surprised and dress this mess up as a misunderstanding. It isn’t. Take a deep breath hold your head up high move on and respect yourself. Decent people don’t treat others so badly.

modzy78 · 14/04/2019 17:42

They had it in mind to scam you out of money from the start. You made an offer that was vague because you wanted them to have something that would be a treat. They only mentioned reasonably priced items (bed linens, bath towels, dinner plates, robes) because they knew it would lock you into the idea of buying something. Then they come back later saying that they're going with something practical, again to make you feel even more obligated. But nothing about what it is or what the cost would be, so that you''d assume it's in the same price range. And then, out of the blue, they send you a massive invoice for something that isn't even close to what they've been implying for months. And start hounding you for the money repeatedly. They're playing you for a fool by hoping you're so invested you'll pay. Good for you for questioning them. I honestly agree with those saying not to pay them anything, but I can understand you wanting to pay a token (which I would lower to £50, to be honest). I hope you continue to stay strong and block them when this is all over. You don't need friends like them.

Farmerswifey12 · 14/04/2019 17:51

What a bitchif a response

Send them another email with a link to the definition of lost in translation

FilledSoda · 14/04/2019 17:55

This is insane !
They must be really well suited though .
Pair of manipulative con artists .

Original poster
NoCanoe · 14/04/2019 17:56

Friend has come back with a reply.

The condensed version is basically....yes, we should have discussed a budget, my bad! I got carried away.

But, they are ordered and this puts us in a really difficult position. We've worked out our finances and can make it work. If you can go up to 350. Please say you can manage this! Your desperate grateful friend....

OP posts:
small2018 · 14/04/2019 17:56

£550?!?!?!?! 😱

small2018 · 14/04/2019 17:57

Sorry we posted at the sane time.

£350 is still too much!!

WeeM · 14/04/2019 18:00

I have just caught up and am Shock! The most we have ever spent on a housewarming is £50 and that was for a sibling of which we only have 1 between the 2 of us, usually I’d go for about £20.

And I see they are now being ‘nice’ to try and make you succumb-stay strong!

Littleduckeggblue · 14/04/2019 18:01

Reply and tell them you are willing to give them £100 towards the curtains and even this is slightly more than you had in mind
Do not give them £350! Sooo cheeky of them!

FilledSoda · 14/04/2019 18:02

They can cancel the bloody curtains then !
They are still trying to con money from you , absolutely unbelievable Angry

lanesra2 · 14/04/2019 18:02

The last message just confirms they are using you for money. Anyone else would be mortified. Not them - they are just trying to get as much as they can out of the situation! I wouldn't give them anything at all now. Not even a token amount. If they can't afford curtains for that amount - why would you think a friend with less money should buy them for u!! Utter cs

Nacreous · 14/04/2019 18:03

Christ, what a total pair of CFs.

£100max. I would frankly not send them anything as they are being awful and have clearly demonstrated what they think of you as a friend. No one sane would assume someone would spend more than about £30 without checking, though I can see if you were discussing new towels they Might just have thought maybe up to £100, but definitely nothing over.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 14/04/2019 18:03

I am beyond staggered at this.

PLEASE say you're not going to go along with it.

MrsGarethSouthgate · 14/04/2019 18:04

Urgh at their reply. Hold firm @NoCanoe

Usuallyinthemiddle · 14/04/2019 18:11

Be strong. This is not your fault! Ignore them now. Xxx

Knittedfairies · 14/04/2019 18:12

Do not wobble now OP! No, no, no.

Coffeeonthesofa · 14/04/2019 18:12

WTF!
At least you now know that they realise £550 is a ridiculous amount of money and they are being CF since they can’t afford it themselves for their own curtains).
They totally took advantage and thought you would be too nice too much of a mug to not pay up. You have flummoxed them with your response and they are now pushing for whatever they can get out of you. Your conscience is now clear tell them to FO then block.

WobbleTime · 14/04/2019 18:12

Nooooooooo
This is ridiculous. Who orders £550 curtains then demands a friend pay for them? As a housewarming gift without checking the budget first? Especially as it seems they either can’t or won’t pay for them themselves? This is madness.
I’m so sorry these people have put you in this awkward position but frankly your friendship will probably never recover after this regardless of how much money if any you send them now.
I would honestly either offer a token amount as per your original budget or (preferably) cut your losses and tell them how awkward and uncomfortable they have made you feel and how behaving in this manner are not the actions of true friends therefore you can’t help them out of this situation they have created. Wish them well in the future and draw a line under this ‘friendship’. And block their number if necessary.
Don’t feel bad, you are not the one in the wrong here! This is crazy behaviour.