Housewarming gift price range?

[NoCanoe]

I originally offered to buy a gift once my friends were settled and knew what they wanted. There had been talk of wanting to replace dinner plates, bed linen , towels etc.

They now have said they will forgo the non essential items in favour of something more practical.

That's fine. But because I never stipulated a budget at the time when it was a general idea, Im now being presented with an invoice far greater than anticipated.

Im just wondering if Im out of touch with price range these days, or am I being taken advantage of?

Id like some idea of what you'd consider normal price range before I say how much I am actually being asked for.

I do feel I have no option but to honour the commitment. But I'm a bit miffed.

Goodness they are so rude! Have you replied?

I can't get my head round the absolute cheek of some people, this takes CF'ery to a whole new level!

I really hope you don't send them any money at all, the money grubbing toe-rags!

They are throwing it back to you in an attempt to make you as uncomfortable as possible. Or perhaps they are very self entitled and rude. Either way, you can’t reward such crassness.

I’m not sure I would enter into further discussion with them tbh. You won’t feel better for it and I suspect they will try to take advantage of you.

I would be inclined to send a card wishing them well in their new home enclosing a cheque for £50 and then disengage.

Don't reply. If you engage you give them opportunities to tell you that you are wrong and that you must give them huge amounts of money. You are not wrong. They are cf, but like a toddler who has been told no, they will almost certainly up the ante to see what they can get away with. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. You have totally done the right thing and they are prize winning cfs.

If you still want to send something I think you should just do it.

'Have transferred £x for Christmas and housewarming gift. Take care x'

Don't engage in the conversation further.

If - as most posters are suggesting - you are ready to walk away now then you can just block and ignore.

What a weird response! I guess you could reply something along the lines of you aren't sure what you've said that gave them the impression you had that big a budget. But it's obvious what you meant!

OP, if you are still in any doubt, these people are not your friends. Reply 'Hmmm, lost in translation. Exactly what it means. How did an offer of a house warming gift escalate to a bill for £550? Are you sure you wouldn't like to round it up to a cool £1000? Or I could fund a conservatory instead?"
Add a smiley face and then block them. Don't send a penny. Dreadful people.

Seriously op don’t send her anything! How rude

Other PPs are right. Don't engage is probably the best thing. Just don't respond back and have nothing more to do with them .

They are being so cheeky. Be completely black and white with them.

Reply something along the lines of.
The house warming gift was meant to be instead of a Christmas gift. You know I roughly spend £100.
I at no point agreed to purchase £550 curtains for you. If you can't afford them I suggest you cancel them.
I'll forward the £100 But suggest we end ALL gift exchanges between us.
These requests for large sums of money are not in the spirit of Christmas and are beginning to sour our friendship.

You're going to have to learn to stop engaging with these twats. I'd actually block them entirely. They are doing this to put you on the back foot. How fucking rude, 'What do you mean, lost in translation' and then nothing else. And their rude demands for extorting money. The fucking HMRC are politer than that! Find your anger. This pair of cunts have been having you on for years and conning money. Throwing £100 out a window would be better than enabling these scamming arseholes.

Oh, if you must, just one reply: 'You know damn well what I mean. You're trying to extort money out of me. Pretty sick of being conned by you. Get to fuck. Consider yourself blocked.'

I wouldn't reply at all now.

The only proper response to your message would have been a 'sorry for the misunderstanding we are of course hugely appreciative of £100'. Unless they hastily follow their reply up with something similar I'd just walk away and send nothing.

The whole thing beggars belief!

That message is designed to make you feel as awkward as possible. They clearly expected you to pay rather than call them out on their cf'ery. You've gone off script so expect a change in tactics.

This 'friendship' is over whatever happens, so save yourself £100 and end it now.

Good grief, agree with you... That’s it, nothing that you can say can improve the situation and may even make it much worse.

Radio silence is the way forward.

Their reply is deliberately obtuse as to make you feel bad and that it’s your fault you didn’t realise you would giving them hundreds of pounds.

Dirty rotten scoundrels!

Do not reply and do not send any money at all.

‘There is no greater calamity than being consumed by greed.’
Chinese Proverb

That's a horrible response op.

These people are not your friends. They are using you. I'm sorry. But they are. I think you need to accept it.

Any remotely normal person would have responded with ". Gosh I'm sorry and thanks for the kind contribution x"

They want your money. They don't want you. Don't respond further op. Leave it to them to respond again. Your message was clear. Very. They are being rude to you now.

Leave it now. If they want your money they'll have to chase you. Let them. Do not, whatever you do, reply with more than a couple of sentences.

They know exactly what you mean. They are trying to intimidate you.

Thanks everyone.

I thought my message was clear enough and required no further explanation. So , I was bit when I saw the reply.

But, yes, I quickly cottoned onto the fact that it was designed to put the ball back in my court and me on the backfoot trying to explain.

Ive not replied. Im going to wait it out.

I’d reply. ‘I mean there must be some confusion. My budget for a gift was £20-50, £100 absolute maximum, I can’t possibly afford the curtains’.

That's best, don't respond.

They want your money so they will be back in touch unfortunately. This won't end here.

But your message was clear and very polite,with a light hearted edge. It was a good message.

Op your right wait it out.

When they come back chasing, it might be the point to give a very blunt, No.

How are you feeling?, it's horrible when you realise a friend isn't a true friend more some body who's been using you.

Just move on.

They are not worth a minute of your time.

You only have one life’s so spend it thinking about people that genuinely care about you.

Let these two stew in their own greed filled pan of entitlement.

It’s not nice finding out that people you considered friends are anything but, so you will feel down about it. But you can pick yourself up and walk away from them with your head held high.

EdtheBear - yes, it is a horrible feeling. I found my anger at the insult of their reply, then it evaporated and I've been fighting back tears.

A few things from the past are now being seen in a different light. And it fucking hurts.

Im so glad I posted on here last night.
I would have paid up the full whack as I felt honour bound.

But having the situation picked over in detail by others, gave me that breathing space to think things through. The support to question the situation has been immense. Thank you all.