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Original poster

before you had kids, did you want boys or girls or a mixture? Why?

120 replies

beclev24 · 12/04/2019 19:40

Just curious really. Before you had your kids, did you hope to have boys or girls or a mix? What was your ideal and why?

OP posts:
Devonishome1 · 12/04/2019 21:03

I would have been very happy with either boy or girl but when I was told that I was having a girl I was very excited and happy. I can’t say why, I just was!

bakingcupcakes · 12/04/2019 21:14

I wanted a girl but got a boy. I think I wanted a girl because I thought I'd relate better. And also because there's nicer clothes for girls Blush and a stereotypical view that we could do Disney princess stuff, girly things together etc. However, DS is very much a typical boy and I've found I really like doing 'boy' things too. I couldn't imagine having a girl now. In the end I don't think it matters and what you 'want' is what you imagine it to be like rather than reality anyway.

Chocolatepeanuts · 12/04/2019 21:22

Before kids i always imagined I'd have a daughter at some point. I'm not girly, into dressing up or shopping but like a pp I have a very female orientated family, no brothers just sisters, very close to my mum and her sisters and grandmothers. Mostly female cousins. Actually i didnt know any little boys!! When pregnant I didn't hope for either sex and when DS1 was born i was thrilled and realised little boys are actually amazing. Still thought Id have a girl at some point but it wasnt a fully conscious thought and I never tried specifically for a girl. 2 more DS later and our family is complete and Im delighted with my gang. When DS 3 came out there was a little thought of well thats it no girls for me! But it was fleeting and Ive never thought of it since.

HotChocolateLover · 12/04/2019 21:47

@LadyKylieShagworthy

‘We stopped at 2 girls partly because I didn't want to risk having a boy.’

What a weird and horrible thing to say about boys.

CarmineStarman · 12/04/2019 21:54

I chopped and changed so much about what I really wanted- ended up with b/g twins though so that worked out alright.Grin

Smumzo · 12/04/2019 21:56

I wanted one of each and got one of each. If I had to have chosen just one it would have been a girl. I am a woman and it just seemed an easier path. Most of the people I know are closer to the wife's side of the family. I hope it doesn't happen with DS but I'd understand if it did.

bourbonbiccy · 12/04/2019 22:00

I wanted a Boy and I had a boy so we were very happy.
But I would have loved any child just the same.

ExpletiveDelighted · 12/04/2019 22:07

I didn't mind which sex they were and didn't find out during pregnancy.

DramaAlpaca · 12/04/2019 22:10

I wasn't really bothered, but had a slight preference for boys - which is just as well as I ended up with a family of three of them Smile

I've never felt that desperate need to have a daughter that you hear a lot on here, I just don't understand it.

OP I don't understand the negativity about boys either, mine are amazing.

PristineCondition · 12/04/2019 22:11

I never wanted kids- had 2
Only wanted girls -2 boys

GrinGrinGrinGrin

KittensinaBlender · 12/04/2019 22:14

I always wanted a mix because I had done a lot of babysitting and enjoyed the families that had both the best.

However, once I had my third boy I decided three was enough and very much liked having all boys. DD came along as a surprise a few years later and whilst I would have been perfectly content with all boys, I do enjoy having the mix.

SallyWD · 12/04/2019 22:17

I really wanted one of each and that's what I got.

cafesociety · 12/04/2019 22:18

Both times I was pregnant I really wanted boys. I'm not girly, not interested in girls clothes, make up, ballet, or anything frilly, pink or fluffy.

I had 2 boys and was over the moon both times. They've been great. Married now with families of their own, I now have 3 GS's.

lambychops · 12/04/2019 22:19

I really really wanted a girl.
Am still over the moon to have her. However I would never say that to someone who hasn’t got one or wanted one or happy with their lot kind of thing. There’s a family with three boys at our school and they are absolutely adorable. Just enjoy what you have. It’s really no one else’s business.

Celebelly · 12/04/2019 22:19

I didn't think I had a preference but have realised that I did want a daughter and am glad I now have DD! We are only planning to have the one child so I'm glad she's a girl but can't really articulate why! I think I just have such a nice and close relationship with my mum that I always envisaged the same with my daughter. DP's preference was a girl but he didn't tell me till after she was here Grin

But if we had had a boy I and he would have been delighted I'm sure as long as he was healthy. After someone in our MN antenatal group losing a baby at full term, what genitals my baby had no longer seemed important.

lambychops · 12/04/2019 22:20

Oh and I wanted a dd because I felt I had no idea how to raise a dd. Not because of the ‘girly girl’ thing but because I just felt clueless about ds. The stupid thing is I’m pretty sure I’d have figured it out pretty quickly had I had a ds!

SosigDog · 12/04/2019 22:33

I wanted a girl. I like pretty dresses and makeup, I could pass on my jewellery to her, she’d inherit my beautiful long blonde hair and I could style it for her, and there’d be more chance of me eventually being involved with my grandchildren.

I had a boy. It’s much easier because clothing choices are limited and hair doesn’t need styling. Turns out I’m a crap mum who never has time for that stuff anyway. And tbh I think I’d project on a girl much more and worry about her repeating my mistakes and suffering like I’ve done. With my DS I’m much more relaxed because he obviously isn’t me. I think I worry about personal safety much less with a boy too.

I still think I have less chance of being involved with grandchildren because the mother always hates the MIL while wanting her own DM to be involved. But tbh I’m not great with kids anyway.

frenchonion · 12/04/2019 22:35

I didn't really WANT a girl for my first but sort of just felt she was, and she was! Same for second. Just somehow knew he was a boy. Third I went to scan thinking it was a boy, but I'm probably wrong...he was a DS. So I kind of wanted the sexes I had, not actively, but probably on some level I suppose? Although saying that I think I did actively hope no 3 was a boy as my DD was an, aherm, 'high needs' baby (she's 10 now and am absolute dream!!) and my DS was sooo easy, so I think I was more confusing my wanting another boy with hoping for another easy baby which I'd linked to sex based on experience, rather than a particular desire for one or the other, does that make sense?!

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 12/04/2019 22:36

When I was younger I wanted a mix (I wanted 6 kids)
I have 5 and all boys.
I always wanted twins, and always boy/boy or boy/girl, but never girl/girl for some reason! I got my boys. Smile
Once I'd started my family I found I didn't actually care what sex I had.
Of course having 5 boys many many people have opinions on that, and on how disappointed I must be, how I've disappointed them, was I trying for a girl etc etc.

PristineCondition · 12/04/2019 22:41

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats
My friend has four girls, people always say ‘what shame, are you sad you've no boys’ really winds her up, like her family is lesser some how Angry

Namenic · 12/04/2019 22:47

Wanted at least 1 of each but slight preference for 1st being a boy as have grown up with just brothers and I’m not girly at all and have relatives who would go overboard with v girly gifts.

Have 2 boys who are lovely but exhausting and have taken a while to focus/concentrate.

Would like to have a girl to see if it is a different experience or whether sex does not make a difference.

Original poster
beclev24 · 12/04/2019 22:48

Interesting replies- thanks! such a mix- more than I thought there would be.

In real life for me it is constant- all the "3 boys, never mind you can always try again" type comments and people saying how much they wanted girls. PP who said she didn't want to 'risk' having a boy is a comment I've heard a lot in real life. It gets me down tbh. I adore my boys and can't imagine our family any other way, but sad to think that people somehow pity me or to think that I'm missing out on something wonderful. I also do wonder sometimes if they would have been a bit calmer if they had been girls (or at least one of them had been)- this might be total projection but they are very boisterous and physical and I don't see that dynamic so much with all girl families.

OP posts:
Cherrysherbet · 12/04/2019 22:48

I had two boys, and was over the moon with that, and thought I was done. 8 yrs later I just had an overwhelming feeling that I wanted one more baby, and had a girl. I told everyone when I was expecting that I didn’t mind what I was having, but secretly I was hoping for a girl. I now have two strapping lads that are taller than me! and a gorgeous little girl who knows exactly how to push their buttons 🙈😂

RocketPockets · 12/04/2019 22:53

Boy then a girl was what I wanted because I wanted one of each. I wanted a boy first because I was worried if I had a girl I would try to be her best friend rather than her mum and I'd want a super close relationship that I never really had with my mum and it would end up going badly etc etc.
I currently have a little boy & hoping to start ttc soon but I really honestly have no preference for whether we had a boy or girl next now. Another boy would be amazing I'd love two boys but equally I'd love to have a girl because I've always wanted a little girl. My ideal world we'd have 3 children but we agreed 2 and we wouldn't really be able to afford 3 or give them what we want to be able to give.

TheBullshitGoesOn · 12/04/2019 23:06

I have a girl and a boy beclev. They are both very boisterous and physical. It is just their personalities, nothing to do with their sex. So don't think that one or more of them being girls would have made things any calmer.

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