Why does my ex love to bring up the fact I pooped in labour?!

[ImHastingsDarling]

Ok, not the poo troll promise. DM is a crap newspaper.

Just got off FaceTime with DS (15yo) who is on holiday with his dad, gf and family.
Having a lovely time by all accounts.

DS said "haha auntie was telling me about how dad decided to go to the shops while you were in labour in the car"

I said "yea this was his way of dealing with the pressure I think!"

Then ex pipes up in the background, laughing 'jokingly'
"alright alright don't start because I'll just have to say one word to make you stop. .... POO. Yup, mum done a poo when she was in labour and I had to wipe it away"

Cue awkward silence from all who were in the vicinity of the FaceTime chat.

For the record, it was as I was pushing. It was probably the size of a slug. I was mortified when it happened. The nurse wiped it away (not him). And this is probably the 8th time he's brought it up in front of various different people.

I just rolled my eyes and did a sarcastic "hur hur hur" laugh and moved the convo on.

Can I have some witty one liners next time he pulls this stunt?!

Am I the only one this had happened to?

I really wish he would fuck off with mentioning it, the twat

I'm not sure you need to say anything. Just stay silent. It will be obvious to everyone listening that your ex is a cunt.

I always find fuck off you twat effective in these situations. No wonder he's an ex

Loads of women poo in labour!! It’s entirely normal. He must be around 10 years old emotionally to find that funny.

Do you have to speak to your son infront of your Ex? Could you insist on privacy? Your child is 15 so doesn’t need to be supervised on FaceTime. Tell your son to call you when you can speak in peace.

Well if he claims to have been the wiper again just say "well at least you were good for something!"

I’d just mention the fact he only lasts 30 seconds in bed. You might even get a snigger from his gf.

My labour shit was probably bigger then my son. If he knows you give a reaction he'll keep taunting you. Ignore it and take comfort in the knowledge that it's very common.

Next time he says it you could say “its a bit creepy the way you keep bringing that up”

Why is he always talking about your labour.

My labour shit was probably bigger then my son.

Normal. Next time ask him to push out a watermelon and not poo at the same time.

"Not the only piece of shit present that day...."?

He would sometimes just bring it up when the conversation isn't even about labour... he is very immature. I think it's his way of getting one up on me after I left him

Totally, totally normal to poop in labour.

Just add it to the probably massive list of reasons he's an ex.

How about saying "the midwife cleaned me up. As we're all aware you aren't and never were fit to wipe my arse."

"Not the only piece of shit present that day...."?

Ok I'm using this one. DS is 15 now so I don't need to watch my language so much

I wouldn't say anything and rely on an awkward silence! If it makes you feel better I had a home water birth with my second and the poor midwife had to sieve the poo out of the pool!

🤣 poo sieve

Ahhh thanks MN I'm glad to hear it wasn't just me. I knew it couldn't have been just me but it didn't happen to my sister and my best friend had a caesarean so I had no one else to ask

My OH likes to remind me how I “got yourself a vajanus” and literally falls about laughing. But he isn’t my ex and I know he’s only teasing so bit different. And ironic that one of the Jonas brothers had a song “stitches” at number 1 when I gave birth. I can’t listen to that song without wincing!

I’d just say “is it was 15 years ago, are you still finding that funny? How old are you?”.

Sorry to lower the tone, but ilovewillow has just reminded me that I bought a mini fishing net (meant for fish tanks) because my children pooed in the bath so often 😂😂

Urgh, what a child. Perfectly normal to poo while in labour. I pooed while mid contraction in the pool, just a small nugget. My dh fished it out before the midwives had a chance to get the net. He's never brought it up or found it funny, as he knows it's perfectly normal.

I'm with pp just let the awkward silence do the talking. It shows him up to be an immature tool.

Not the only piece of shit present that day...."?

Fantastic!

OP when I went to antenatal classes with my first pregnancy the midwife there warned us all that we would probably poo! So it really is not rare. I already knew because my mum is a midwife and she said none of the midwives even blink because it is so common it’s the same as seeing blood for them. Ie; totally expected.

Because he is a twat.

It happens often. It is cleaned up quickly, and usually never mentioned again.

Unless you are a twat. Then you mention it.

'Bloody hell it was 15 years ago. Move on mate'

Honestly, if that's all he's got you're golden.

Maybe he’d just really ignorant and doesn’t realise it’s part and parcel

Well he just made himself look.a twat didn't he, just say nothing it's perfectly normal too poo during Labour ,no wonder nobody said anything they were probably embarrassed on his behalf.

He's holding onto that in an effort to diminish you in his own mind. That shows you the level of stupidity he's currently operating on.

Own it. Yeah, you pooped in labour. And? Nobody died. Loads of people do it. It's entirely normal and only a 4 year old would repeatedly raise it. Each time he does, remind him of that. Remind him that he's the arsehole trying to embarrass you for his own gain. Laugh in his face and, if you're feeling unkind, tell people he got diarrhoea in a restaurant and shat all over a wingback chair in front of 57 diners. It doesn't need to be true. He wants to tell tales, repay him with your own childish nonsense.

What a knob he is.