Why does my ex love to bring up the fact I pooped in labour?!

[ImHastingsDarling]

Ok, not the poo troll promise. DM is a crap newspaper.

Just got off FaceTime with DS (15yo) who is on holiday with his dad, gf and family.
Having a lovely time by all accounts.

DS said "haha auntie was telling me about how dad decided to go to the shops while you were in labour in the car"

I said "yea this was his way of dealing with the pressure I think!"

Then ex pipes up in the background, laughing 'jokingly'
"alright alright don't start because I'll just have to say one word to make you stop. .... POO. Yup, mum done a poo when she was in labour and I had to wipe it away"

Cue awkward silence from all who were in the vicinity of the FaceTime chat.

For the record, it was as I was pushing. It was probably the size of a slug. I was mortified when it happened. The nurse wiped it away (not him). And this is probably the 8th time he's brought it up in front of various different people.

I just rolled my eyes and did a sarcastic "hur hur hur" laugh and moved the convo on.

Can I have some witty one liners next time he pulls this stunt?!

Am I the only one this had happened to?

I really wish he would fuck off with mentioning it, the twat

He could just be a mindless immature twat but Trying to humiliate a woman in front of family is a sign if emotional abuse.

Arse wiping, all u were good for really....

'Oh don't tell me that's something else you don't know about women's bodies exH? Why on earth are you still harping on about something so natural and insignificant?' And then dead silence whilst he scrambles for an answer that doesn't make him sound like an immature dickhead

Did it not occur to him at all that the chances are high that the other woman present did the same?

That's what I was thinking! What a twat he is.

I didn't poo (I don't think) because about 1/2 hr in I was trapped on the loo and vomiting into the sink until there was no possibility of anything left!

@mummabubs 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm crying looool

Not my finest moment(s) @ImHastingsDarling 😂😂

"My little poo was still more impressive than your knob though"....."anyway, moving on....."

😁

"Do you know your poo story must be boring people by now, weird you're so obsessed." have you spoken to someone about it, as it can't be normal after 15 years."

Say - Most women poo in labour. It’s normal. Most men don’t mention it again. That’s normal too.

twats trick
but judging by the silence all he did was make himself look a twat .

I thought everyone pooped in labour?

I thought my water had broken only to be told by the midwife I'd just done a really big wee during a contraction. Found it hilarious (and annoying) at the time, but my DH has never mentioned it again, because he's not an arse.

Don't laugh just seriously say " as most women do, isn't it time for you to grow up", and then change the subject. Embarass him for his juvenile behaviour

There was that blogger midwife on This Morning a while back and the most common question from viewers was about pooing during birth. She said that nearly all women poop during pushing (and she’s had years of experience).

I remember feeling relieved after giving birth that it hadn’t happened to me and said so to DH. It was only after requesting my birth notes months later that I saw that I actually had twice during pushing! DH had just been kind enough not to correct me. It’s funny how it just happens without you noticing, I didn’t even have an epidural and didn’t feel it happen or notice my bum getting wiped lol. I always take it with a pinch of salt when women say they didn’t during birth. Just because you didn’t notice or your birth partners insisted you didn’t, doesn’t really guarantee it.

I think most women poo during labour. Your ex is very unkind.

I dont know if I did or not with my three but with my first they had to restrain me from going to the toilet as I was convinced I was pooing when in fact my dd was coming out.

I do like the response about his parents taking the wrong thing home but would probably go for awkward silence myself.

"Yes, the way women's bodies work has always been a mystery to you, hasn't it?"

And change the conversation.

@downcasteyes - I love that reply it says so so much

They gave me antibiotics because of fever and they brought on diarrhea. One of the side effect was diarrhea . I couldn't walk because of the epidural so pressed the button and told her I needed to poo NOW. She told me to wait, it was probably the baby coming and she was going to get the doctor. I tried to convince her it was poo coming but she didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it anymore and had massive runny diarrhea all over the bed in front of my DH. They had to change the bedding, wash me, open the window, put some coffee against the smell and everything.

I think it's really mean of him to make fun of you about a time when you were so vulnerable. What an awful man.

"I only knew I'd done it when the midwife said 'Oh it looks just like the dad!' and it wasn't the baby she was talking about."

Everyone poos. My midwife had a strange thing like an empty washing up liquid bottle that she used to suck up the poos. I think. I can't say I was concentrating too hard on that aspect of things. 😂

The thing is, he does this a lot in front of different people so you do need to say something so that he realises he can’t embarrass you. He won’t stop.

So definitely use the ‘not the only piece of shit in the room that day’ line.

Or even something like ‘and now everyone can see why I left you.’