Why does my ex love to bring up the fact I pooped in labour?!

[ImHastingsDarling]

Ok, not the poo troll promise. DM is a crap newspaper.

Just got off FaceTime with DS (15yo) who is on holiday with his dad, gf and family.
Having a lovely time by all accounts.

DS said "haha auntie was telling me about how dad decided to go to the shops while you were in labour in the car"

I said "yea this was his way of dealing with the pressure I think!"

Then ex pipes up in the background, laughing 'jokingly'
"alright alright don't start because I'll just have to say one word to make you stop. .... POO. Yup, mum done a poo when she was in labour and I had to wipe it away"

Cue awkward silence from all who were in the vicinity of the FaceTime chat.

For the record, it was as I was pushing. It was probably the size of a slug. I was mortified when it happened. The nurse wiped it away (not him). And this is probably the 8th time he's brought it up in front of various different people.

I just rolled my eyes and did a sarcastic "hur hur hur" laugh and moved the convo on.

Can I have some witty one liners next time he pulls this stunt?!

Am I the only one this had happened to?

I really wish he would fuck off with mentioning it, the twat

Christ, what a nob. I pooed pushing in labour, I thought most women do. I'd had an epidural, I couldn't feel my own arse.

I can see why he's your ex!

I wonder why you left him!

What a twat.
Completely normal. Having now done it I dont see how anyone doesnt poo!

I did a poo in labour, and then because I had a c-section I had really bad wind and farted and pood all over the sofa. DH never brings it up, and if he did I’d be fuming because it’d completely natural. Your EXH should grow up

He says it cuz he's trying to humiliate you. Say to your ds, 'Yes, most women poo during labour. Your father likes to try to use that fact to humiliate me, rather than thanking me for bringing you into the world with great courage and much love through the most incredible pain. I know you will never grow up to treat the mother of your children with the same disrespect.'

Bin him.

"When you come up with comments like that I remember why I left you. DS when you're an adult, try and act a bit more maturely than your dad!"

'remember that time you pissed yourself in the frozen food section of Asda?'.

Doesn't matter that it's made up.

If you want to destroy people (at least british people) master the art of staying completely silent whilst everybody else feels awkward as hell in these situations. He will talk himself into complete humiliation.

Really!! are you still talking about the fact I crapped while in hard labour and was pushing our son into the world? Is that ALL you can recall from that day/night? How sad!!!

remember that time you pissed yourself in the frozen food section of Asda?'.

I like this one 😂😂

Lots of women do a poo ... I think I did ... my husband assured me I didn’t but I think he is trying to not embarrass me ... hence he is my husband and your ex is an ex .. sorry he is being such a idiot x

Your ex better hope karma never comes for his arse and leaves him in a position where someone needs to wipe him up.

Urrghhh he sounds like a prize twat
I shit myself in labour. And it was way more than a slug AND my DH wiped my arse for me.
Couldn’t give a fuck to be honest. When I’m pushing entire human beings out of my body, whether I shit myself or not isn’t exactly high on my list of things to worry about

As he told you, he only says it to silence you, the best thing you can do is be confident it happens loads, not let it get to you at all, say, “and?” And carry on with whatever you were saying before.

I produced a large turd, two piles and a baby

I'm not ashamed of any of them. What are you ashamed of?

Completely normal ... for my first delivery, the ward requested you take in your own sieve for the birthing pool.

It's perfectly normal. I did a massive dump on a birthing stool.
I agree with "well it wasn't the only piece of shit there" on the next inevitable occasion he brings it up.

Stop being a pain in the arse.

I wouldn’t make the comment about it not being the only shit or he could end up twisting it to imply you’re talking about your son.

I would simply ask him if that’s really the most important memory he has of the day you gave birth to your beautiful son? Is that the ONE but that stands out?

Or just do that total silence that makes everyone one else cringe.

One bit*

I've been reliably told that unless you had a massive clear out in early labour, if you gave birth vaginally you probably pooed. No matter what your partner and the midwives told you. I know I pooed in both of mine. The midwives actually see it positively, it shows the baby's head is really moving down. Or so they told me!

Your ex is an arse who's trying to put you down and is stupid and immature enough to think this does so. He's only making himself look bad though. Honestly, a witty comeback just brings you down to his level. Staring at him in silence and then going "...right, so back in the grown-up world" will highlight what an arse hes made of himself.

I think he horrifically embarrassed himself by making that comment. The people with him would have thought he was a twat.

Most if not all women poo during labour. The man sounds so stupid and immature. What "witty" comment is he going to come up with next? "Hey DS... did you know your mum does the most embarrassing thing... She has her period... Every month! Can you believe it?"

I agree with staying silent, use the time to think about how lucky you are to be away from this twit.

My sister is a midwife and she says 90% of women poo during labour.
Honestly women should get medals for the pain they go through during labour, men certainly would if they had to give birth!