I want a baby but my boyfriend wants to wait

[WelshFarmGirl]

Hi, I'm not really used to posting this stuff so please bear with me.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years this year. We moved in together at the start of this year after a long battle to get him out of his mother's house. We are not engaged (even though he knows I want to be) but that's another story. We are 22 and 25 which I know is young.

Okay, so my parents were young when they had my older sister (they were 21) and had me at 25. My sister had her baby at 21 and my aunts/uncles/cousins have all started families young. I always said by the time I was 21 I would have had a baby. I understood that university needed to come first so i concentrated on that and am graduating this July and going to work straight out of university. My job means I am able to work from home. So having a baby is the next step for me. We are a settled couple. I had my fun drunk times in university so I'm done with all that.

My boyfriend on the other hand wants to wait. He's slow with commitment and doesn't want children until he's 30. I don't want to wait until I'm 27 to start my family. His mother had him at 35 so she convinces him waiting is better. He was an only child so it's not like she had to factor in more than one pregnancy. I would like 4 children if I am able to carry and have children. And so I'd want to start trying soon because I don't want them all close together.

I know I sound really needy and I do keep on at him about it a lot but I just don't know what to do. I really can't stop thinking about having a baby. I am on the pill and taking regularly (I don't want to fall pregnant accidentally in case he thinks I've done it on purpose). His mother does make comments on how I'm planning to trap him with a baby but if I wanted to trap him I would be done it 4 years ago! But every month I hope he'll say okay let's try.
What should I do?
Please help!

All these details about who owns the farm, whether OP knows farm safety and whether granny can give a hand with childcare are completely irrelevant. She doesn’t have a partner who wants to have a baby with her.

Oh they are very relevant! 1. She wants some sense knocked into her head by her own request and 2. It's probably why her BF is saying HELL NO!!!!!

Who the fuck wants to be tied to a farm?

I had my first at 21, so I’m not judging based on your age, but I also don’t think you two sound like you’re in the right place for a baby yet. 27 isn’t too late to still have a large family at all. You need to resolve your DP/commitment/MIL issues before you bring a baby into it.

Who the fuck wants to be tied to a farm?

Not you, obviously, but lots of people would bite your hand off for a farm.

For arguments sake, since the OP is not the eldest child, the farm won't be hers.
So she'll work it, but it will never be hers, so she will never own the asset.

Say BF is a mechanic. He's 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's barely off his mother's tit!
Farming will probably glean £20k income net, depending on the size of the farm.
So if she has a child now, bf will run like hell to Australia or something and she's stuck like a one-woman Waltons show trying to run a farm on her own.
So yes, it's all very fucking relevant.

but lots of people would bite your hand off for a farm.

Funny how I haven't.

LTB

You want children and to be honest if you’ve got a farm you’ll need the energy of a 30 year old. Go find yourself another farmer. They’ll be the only ones that get it. Farmers I know are physically knacked in their 30’s.

Sheclaimsto have set up her own business"

She does 'claim'to have set up her owns business.

No one said the child of a farmer cant.

However I find it odd that she keeps changing the situation slightly when people didnt agree.

Like going straight into a job from uni. But didnt mention that she already runs the business now.

The word claim was used because it seems op keeps changing her story to make her sound more ready for kids.

I know I sound really needy and I do keep on at him about it a lot but I just don't know what to do.

He's told you he's not ready to be a parent yet. The only thing you need to do is respect that and stop badgering him about it.

Women supporting women is not just agreeing with their choices when they can see they aren't great.

I've just come across this thread, how did you get on? @WelshFarmGirl