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Original poster

How long do you leave your 11 year old home alone?

100 replies

Murphypoint · 05/04/2019 19:10

If at all?

I take DS to the shops but he wants to stay home himself. He knows how to get in touch with me but I’d be interested to hear how long it is ok to leave a child on their own at home for?

OP posts:

EmmaBead · 05/04/2019 19:14

Personally, I wouldn't leave an 11yo home alone no matter how mature they were. Not until they were at least 13 but I have no idea regarding the law ect...

G5000 · 05/04/2019 19:15

as long as they want at that age

AppleKatie · 05/04/2019 19:16

Year 7 or year 6?

Year 7 I think i’d leave for 30-45mins or the equivalent of their journey home from school/time at home til an adult gets in. Whatever they are used too.

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11 year olds Families

froggers1 · 05/04/2019 19:18

Wow. I've got a ten year old who I live for 30 mins. He is absolutely fine

shatteredandstressed · 05/04/2019 19:18

It depends entirely on the 11year old.
Some can't be left for a minute, others a couple of hours is fine.

Smoggle · 05/04/2019 19:20

I leave my 8 year old for 30 minutes, I'd expect an average 11 year old to be fine for a couple of hours.

Many 11 year olds get home from school at 3/4pm when parents don't get back from work until 5/6pm

Meshpregnancy · 05/04/2019 19:21

Depends on the child. My eldest was always v sensible and mature and never scared and in year 7 I would leave her home alone a couple of hours and I would let her go to the local shops alone and on the Tube alone. My second child is more dreamy, less practical and less aware so I’d only leave her for very short periods and she can’t go out alone.

IVEgottheDECAF · 05/04/2019 19:22

A hour to an hour and a half.

Chocolateisfab · 05/04/2019 19:23

My ds 10.5 - no way!!

Fourmagpies · 05/04/2019 19:24

I leave mine for up to an hour. He's sensible, year 7, knows not to answer the door and I'm never that far away. He knows which neighbours he can go to if need be and also has a mobile so could call me. We started with leaving him for 10 mins and extended it. I wouldn't leave him if I didn't think he was comfortable with it.

It does depend on the child and possibly where you live but most could probably cope with being left (and would prefer to be left!).

Widowodiw · 05/04/2019 19:24

I leave my 10 year old for an hour. He’s ssys he’s be more than fine to be left all day - obviously I wouldn’t but depends on child. If he’s asking then try it start with a going round the corner and build up to half and hour or so. Just reiterate what to do if they should need to get out of the house in an emergency.

VashtaNerada · 05/04/2019 19:24

DD (11) is home alone for an hour or so after school. No problems so far (apart from her eating all the biscuits )

clary · 05/04/2019 19:26

Lots of 11yos are in their own after school for a couple of hours. it's fine.

I built up to it tho. Op have you never left him for 10 mins while you post a letter? Does he not go to school under his own steam?

twinnedtoiletlady · 05/04/2019 19:27

I leave my 11 year old easily alone for an hour to an hour and a half. Any longer and she’d probably rather come with me instead if staying on her own. It mainly happens when i take a sibling to an activity/club.
She can call me if she needs to, and likes the house to herself every now and then.

PetuliaBlavatsky · 05/04/2019 19:27

I leave my 11 year old for up to an hour. There are ground rules and we review what to do in various situations.

DropZoneOne · 05/04/2019 19:28

I've left my just turned 11 year old for up to 1.5 hours. She's fine and calls me if she needs/wants anything (usually food!).

She'll be on her own after school for up to two hours after Easter, so we've been gradually increasing the time.

Persimmonn · 05/04/2019 19:29

What happens to an 11 year old child between year 6 and 7? Do they suddenly acquire special wisdom or something? 😂😂

I’ve left my dd home alone for 2 hours longest on her own with constant contact via messaging and FaceTime.

I started leaving her for 30mins at age 8. Interestingly, ds is 7 and I’d never leave him alone for a long time. He’s nervous and gets himself in all sorts of situations even when I’m at home. God knows what he’d do alone 😂

Mokepon · 05/04/2019 19:30

Agree it depends very much on the child.
My 11 yo is almost 12 but over the last year we've built up from 20mins to now a couple of hours. She's going to high school after summer so we are trying lots of different things like this to build her confidence and independence.
She can call us, we are never too far away, and there are several neighbours she could go to in an emergency.
The rules are you don't tell anyone else (friends) you are alone at home.
No baths or showers but she is allowed to make herself tea and toast.

NoKnit · 05/04/2019 19:31

I'd say an hour or two is fine.

People not leaving 11 year olds I am convinced this is also not good for them, they are not going to gain any independence

Original poster

Murphypoint · 05/04/2019 19:31

Thanks all

The only thing he does alone is go to the park to meet friends. We live rurally so school is by car. I think half the issue is where we live.

I’ll stsart to build some time up.

OP posts:

Turquoisetamborine · 05/04/2019 19:31

I left my 11 yr old for 1.5 hours after school today as his younger brother wanted to go to soft play and he didn’t. I can’t be in two places at once. He is fine and very sensible, just chills on the iPad and helps himself to snacks.

clary · 05/04/2019 19:32

Mine used to be at home all day if they had an inset. I was a teacher so hold not an issue.

Meant to say, Emmabead, do you have DC.? how old are they?

DonutCone · 05/04/2019 19:40

About an hour and a half. At that age I was spending 3 hours alone every day and looking after a younger sibling. I never leave him with a sibling but he is perfectly fine to be on his own for that length of time.

Natsku · 05/04/2019 19:40

However long they are comfortable but yeah, you need to build up to it as he's not used to being left alone.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 05/04/2019 19:43

I left mine for about an hour and a half today.

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