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Original poster

How long do you leave your 11 year old home alone?

100 replies

Murphypoint · 05/04/2019 19:10

If at all?

I take DS to the shops but he wants to stay home himself. He knows how to get in touch with me but I’d be interested to hear how long it is ok to leave a child on their own at home for?

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 05/04/2019 19:45

Eminently sensible dd was left for 2 hours after school today. She did homework, washed up, cleaned out her rabbits and when I got in, was prepping dinner. She has a phone, neighbours are good friends if she needs immediate help and she's very sensible.

WickedGoodDoge · 05/04/2019 19:52

At 11, DS was regularly making his way home from Edinburgh on his own- getting the bus from school to the centre of town and then the train home (and coping with regular chaos on the train line). I think it would have been a bit odd if I didn’t then trust him at home on his own for a few hours.

Original poster

Murphypoint · 05/04/2019 19:53

Wow wicked! Edinburgh traffics and chaos worries me and I’m in my thirties lol.

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11 year olds Families

implantsandaDyson · 05/04/2019 20:31

2/3 hours. She's almost exactly 11 and a half. She'll be heading to secondary school in September - she'll be getting her own way there and back, she has a phone and is well used to using it.

Blackandpurple · 05/04/2019 21:24

My DS 11 tomorrow and i leave him for an hour or so. Very rural here and last week I drove him to the next village 2 miles away to his friends and went out to play with his phone and £4in his pocket. Loved it! I stayed home to clean.

BibbityBobbityEars · 05/04/2019 21:29

Hour to an hour and a half.

I’ve found this to be the exception rather than the norm amongst my friends some of whom won’t even leave their 14 yos!

MissWimpyDimple · 05/04/2019 21:34

DD is 12 and she has had to stay home for up to 5 hours when she's been off sick from school and I've had to work.

She's fine with it.

I think it depends on the child!

Bythebeach · 05/04/2019 21:36

Eldest when he was 11 about 1.5 hours but built up now at 13 to several hours. Middle DS just turned 11 but quite anxious and not keen to stay alone yet so haven’t pushed it yet but hope we will build him up to it soon.

xyzandabc · 05/04/2019 21:37

An hour or 2, usually whist taking a sibling to a club it activity. She has a choice to come or not, sometimes she chooses to come, sometimes not.
She does an hour each way to school on her own by bus.

Those saying they'd never leave an 11 yr old home alone. Or not until they were at least 13. Do you have kids anywhere near 11 years old? How do you think most 11/12 year olds get to school?

formerbabe · 05/04/2019 21:39

Personally, I wouldn't leave an 11yo home alone no matter how mature they were. Not until they were at least 13 but I have no idea regarding the law

I'm very risk averse and a bit of a helicopter parent but this is ridiculous.

shitpark · 05/04/2019 21:43

12 year old will happily cope at home for 2 hours at a time, has been fine and building up since he was 9 and first asked if he could just stay home. DD is 9 and not staying home alone, she can be silly, immature, and wants to go everywhere I do anyway.

Bunnybigears · 05/04/2019 21:45

My year 7 11 year old sometimes stays home alone for 2 hours. He has his phone and I have mine, he knows in worst case scenarios such as fire etc to just get out the house and leave the animals behind. His best friend lives in the next street and I've told him if for any reason he can't get hold of me and its urgent to go round there. Quite often he is in the same place when I get back as when I left him.

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2019 21:45

Ds is almost 12 and about an hour. It really depends on the circumstances. Usually 9yo DD is with him which probably limits it a bit.

restingbitchfarce · 05/04/2019 21:50

I leave my 13 all day whilst I'm at work during holidays. He has an iPhone so I always know where he is, strict instructions never to answer the door as anyone who would need to come in has a key. He stays awake at night on his iPad till about 3am so usually sleeps till at least midday. Never to use the oven alone but toaster, microwave and hob are ok.

He's also incredibly mature for his age, far more so than his year older friend who is oblivious to any danger

doodleygirl · 05/04/2019 21:55

If someone won’t leave an NT 14 yr old they have done a pretty crap job of bringing up their child.

DreamInDreamer · 05/04/2019 21:57

DS Yr7- I leave him for a couple of hours quite regularly. As single parent ( widow) have few other options - and he enjoys having the house to himself. He's not allowed to make any food though- not even toast- or answer the door. He has his mobile phone and we live on a friendly community-minded cul-de-sac where he could knock at over a dozen houses to seek help from families we know.
He just goes on the playstation and eats snacks. As far as I know!!!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 05/04/2019 22:01

DS is 12.5 and spent today at home on his own as he had an inset day. I was at work and DH got home around 1:30pm (finishes early on a Friday). He is also home alone for an hour or so after school some days.

After Easter DS will be joined by 10yr old DD as she is keen to walk home on her own and not go to after school club. They have my phone number and DH's, plus they can knock on our neighbours door if needed (usually home with small DC, they've known her for years)

converseandjeans · 05/04/2019 22:04

Sensible 11yo DD started off being left for really short periods of time - like trip to shop. She has iPod so can Facetime/message. Now leave her for approx 1-2 hrs. She plays on the Switch & watches TV so fine with it.

MrsBlondie · 05/04/2019 22:51

At 11 my DS was taking himself to school in mornings and left home until 6pm one night per week. It depends on the child I guess but he's always proved great in this respect. You need to give them independence to help them to grow up. He's now 13 and regularly left alone whilst we work ie inset days and school holidays

arkela · 05/04/2019 22:58

My 11 year old stays home alone for 2-3 hours (and loves it). I was crossing town on public transport at that age, so I'd consider that I'd done a pretty poor job of parenting if my child couldnt keep himself safe in his own house at the same age!

Temporaryanonymity · 05/04/2019 23:02

My two (12 and 10) are often home alone. The eldest has spent the day alone when on an inset and the younger one for an hour or so while I nip out for a run. They barely notice, they scarcely look up from Fortnite.

frogsoup · 05/04/2019 23:04

Personally, I wouldn't leave an 11yo home alone no matter how mature they were. Not until they were at least 13 but I have no idea regarding the law

This is bonkers. I can only hope, since you say 'an' 11yo rather than 'my' 11yo, that you don't actually have a child of this age, and so don't have the first clue about what they are and aren't capable of. I'd go so far as to say that if someone doesn't trust their average 11yo in the house on their own for a couple of hours, there's been something gone quite wrong with their parenting!

Drogosnextwife · 05/04/2019 23:07

A few hours. Mine is. 10 and a half but my mum loves about 20 yards from our house and there is always someone there. He has to have his phone charged and Infront of him at all times incase I phone, he puts the chains on the doors but I don't lock them incase he was in a panic and couldn't get out and we are very friendly with both neighbours, one of which never leaves the house due to an anxiety so they would definitely hear if anything happened.

lotusbell · 05/04/2019 23:13

My 12 year comes home from school and stays on his own until I get back from work, usually about 5.30 ish. He locks himself in. He doesn't do anything other than snack and play on his bloody PS4 so I know he's not going to get into mischief. I'm current working a job with no paid leave so while I wouldn't leave him at home all day on his own, I do sometimes have to leave him in the holidays. My retired dad is 1 minute away, son has strict instructions and either goes there or dad checks in on him. Not ideal but needs must.

WickedGoodDoge · 06/04/2019 07:55

Murphy There’s not much that phases him. Worst is when the trains are off and I have to get him to take a tram to Ingliston or a bus to Balerno so I can go rescue him. He did once message me that first year to say he’d fallen asleep on the bus, missed his stop and had no idea where he was. But I wasn’t to worry as he’d figure it out.

He’ll be 17 soon and is doing a tall ship sail from Aberdeen to Norway this summer followed by a couple of days on his own in Oslo and then Stockholm before flying home. We also sent him to Panama by himself when he was 13 to stay for a week with a distant relative he’d only once briefly met. He’s pretty independent and I recognise that we are on the extreme end of non helicoptering parenting.

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