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Original poster

How long do you leave your 11 year old home alone?

100 replies

Murphypoint · 05/04/2019 19:10

If at all?

I take DS to the shops but he wants to stay home himself. He knows how to get in touch with me but I’d be interested to hear how long it is ok to leave a child on their own at home for?

OP posts:

SleepingSloth · 06/04/2019 07:58

I think a couple of hours is fine as long as they can contact you and are sensible.

Rubusfruticosus · 06/04/2019 08:03

At 11 years and at secondary I would leave them after school for a couple of hours until I finished work, and for up to 10 hours on inset days and some school holiday days.

adaline · 06/04/2019 08:05

Personally, I wouldn't leave an 11yo home alone no matter how mature they were

But @EmmaBead most 11yos are walking to/from secondary school on their own, and letting themselves in at the end of the day while their parents work!

I'd be more worried if I had an 11yo that I couldn't leave alone for an hour or two.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

11 year olds Families

SymbollocksInteractionism · 06/04/2019 08:06

A couple of hours by herself (11.5) and nearly all day if her 17 year old brother is at home. We did this yesterday as both me and dh were working. Youngest (8) went to Granny.

m0therofdragons · 06/04/2019 08:12

My dd is year 6. I'd leave her for up to an hour but rarely do. In September she'll be 11.5 and will walk home from school (15-20 minutes) then be home alone for up to 2 hours as school finishes at 2.55 and I get home from work around 5.15. I have no concerns about this. Dh and I work locally with dh being walking distance from the house so she can call if she needs him. We also live in a cul de sac with neighbours she could go to if worried.

I've found year 6 quite a year of changes where dd has really matured. I don't think I would have said that a year ago. I am going to encourage her to stay for after school clubs (but then she will have to walk home in the dark in the winter and that's probably worse?).

SosigisAndCornflourSauce · 06/04/2019 08:27

Yep, I leave my 11 year old home alone during Inset days too. Phone illegally on in my pocket at work and I nip home at lunch time 👍🏻

Natsku · 06/04/2019 08:33

Although I'd not let an 8 year old fry an egg unsupervised (mine wouldn't want to either, she just makes herself toast) but pondering how long to leave an 11 year old doesn't take much thinking over here when 8 year olds are doing this taughtbyfinland.com/finland-where-the-helicopter-parent-is-an-unknown-species/

BarkandCheese · 06/04/2019 08:56

At least a couple of hours. My biggest worry with DD is she’s very bad at noticing the dog asking to go to do its business so there’s always the risk of coming back to a soggy carpet. Other than that I trust her to be sensible, she already walks a mile to/from school which in risk terms is far greater than watching TV in your own house.

DumbledoresArmy · 06/04/2019 09:06

I've found this thread really interesting reading with the upcoming Easter holidays & the pain in the arse childcare issues.

Out of interest at what age did you first start leaving your children for a short time?

Rubusfruticosus · 06/04/2019 10:29

Out of interest at what age did you first start leaving your children for a short time? 8, for up to two hours at 8 and 9, longer from age 10, including occasional inset days.

ShivD · 06/04/2019 10:48

Y6, probably 2 hours max with no concerns. He’ll be taking London buses/ the tube/ the train to school come September so a couple of hours reading/ playing the Xbox at home is literally nothing compared to that.

Lokidokiartichoki · 06/04/2019 10:48

I’m shocked at some of these answers. 20 minutes?
In my village, childcare providers stop at secondary age. Unless you had family or non working friends nearby (we didnt) they got to stay at home for a few hours after school and all day in holidays when we were working. There were sports/drama clubs for a few hours per day so the dc used to take themselves off to them for a few hours if they wanted, went to the leisure centre for swimming, went out exploring with their friends or stayed at home doing chores (translation: on the Xbox)

It was the same for all the kids in the village! I presumed this was normal for most people. Eyes opened!

formerbabe · 06/04/2019 10:51

for up to two hours at 8

8 year olds should not be left home alone at all, let alone two hours!

MrsKCastle · 06/04/2019 10:54

My eldest DD is 10, Y6. She is absolutely fine to be left for a couple of hours. I check she has her phone charged and so can contact me if she has any problems. If I have to go out with DD2, DD1 can choose whether to come with us.

MrsBartlettforthewin · 06/04/2019 10:56

I leave my 10 year old for about an hour/ hour and a half they are very sensible and hate coming food shopping. I think it depends on the kid.

daisypond · 06/04/2019 11:00

Quite a while. 11 year olds have to make their way to and from school by themselves, often quite long journeys and changing buses, tubes and trains where I am. It would be silly if you felt you couldn’t leave them at home for a few hours.

Applesbananaspears · 06/04/2019 11:11

Personally, I wouldn't leave an 11yo home alone no matter how mature they were

I hope you don’t have an 11year old. There’s no reason on this earth why a sensible NT 11 year old shouldn’t be left at home for a bit while you nip out. That’s doing them no favours

MrsJBaptiste · 06/04/2019 11:35

DS1 was happy to be left for an hour from age 11 but DS2 isn't keen at all. I think it stems from us being burgled and he took it quite badly (the whole house was ransacked including his bedroom) and still worries that he might get in from school and find the house like that again.

However we leave them together all the time (12 & 14 now) in the day and at night. One if the perks of having older kids!

adaline · 06/04/2019 12:27

8 year olds should not be left home alone at all

Why on earth not? You can't never leave your child alone and then expect them to be fine with it at some random age you decide later on.

You build up to it. Leave them while you pop next door, or to the post box, or the shop. Slowly build the time up so by the time they're at secondary they're perfectly happy to be left for a few hours while you work or similar.

formerbabe · 06/04/2019 12:31

Why on earth not? You can't never leave your child alone and then expect them to be fine with it at some random age you decide later on

This makes no sense.

You can build up to it starting at a later age. There's always going to be a first time for them to be left alone. No one is saying, never leave them, then suddenly leave them all alone all day with no previous experience.

But 8 is far too young imo and most people's opinions I'd imagine.

Rubusfruticosus · 06/04/2019 17:02

But 8 is far too young imo and most people's opinions I'd imagine.
I think it depends on the child's maturity and personality. Mine was absolutely ready and happy to be left, and knew the neighbours well. Some children may not be ready until 10, and some children with SEN later than that. They are all different.

cliquewhyohwhy · 06/04/2019 17:08

For me I think when my children get to year 6 so 10/11 I would leave them for an hour or so. Come starting high school I would leave them alone for however long during the day but not on a night. That would have to be a little bit older.

Yerroblemom1923 · 06/04/2019 17:22

Blimey, I have a 10 yr old Dd and if I can't sort childcare next week she will be on her own for potentially 4 hrs on tues! Her choice. She could come to work with me but a)it's boring and b) there's dogs.
She will be fine. She knows not to stick things in plug sockets, try to light fires etc has a key to get out in case of fire/someone comes to the door and has my mobile no in case of emergencies.

Lokidokiartichoki · 06/04/2019 17:50

@Yerroblemom1923 one thing I’d recommend is showing her where the stopcock is/how it works. My friend thought she’d covered how to deal with all emergencies with her 15 year old son - turned out the one she forgot was the one she should have remembered 😩

KatharinaRosalie · 06/04/2019 18:01

8 year olds should not be left home alone at all

In my original country, the Supreme Court recently debated the issue and found that most 7-year olds are mature enough to be left home alone for a couple of hours. I don't think the kids themselves are so different from British ones.

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