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Original poster

Would you drive dd to and from the bus stop?

105 replies

twosoups1972 · 02/04/2019 15:49

Dd is 12 and started secondary school last September. It's an easy journey on one bus.

Bus stop is about a 7 min walk from home, uphill on the way there and obviously downhill coming home.

Dd keeps asking for a lift to the bus stop. Some mornings dh is going anyway so she goes with him. Other days she usually persuades me to drive her. Often she'll message me in the afternoon to pick her up with various excuses - her pe bag is heavy, it's hot/cold/raining etc.

Because I only work part time and I'm nice I normally agree but now dd is starting to expect it.

WWYD?

OP posts:

SleepingSloth · 03/04/2019 02:36

It might help to wean her off the lifts if you walk over some times to meet her and then walk home together.

As lovely as this may sound to some, I think a lot of kids would be embarrassed for their mum to meet them and walk them home. Its totally different jumping in a car, especially if other kids from school are getting off the bus too. I gave a lovely relationship with my kids, very open but I know my son would feel like this even though I'm obviously a super cool mum just because other kids say stuff.

SleepingSloth · 03/04/2019 02:37

*have not gave

Tavannach · 03/04/2019 02:51

Someone who asked if she gets scared at the bus stop.....no I don't think it's that at all. I think she just finds school really tiring and wants to get home fast.

I wondered if it was someone she encounters on the walk rather than someone at the bus stop.

I'd give a 12 year old a lift, especially since there are no issues about exercise.

Interested in this thread?

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12 year olds

purplepears · 03/04/2019 03:00

If the weather is fine why don't you walk with her and help with her bags? It's healthy for you both. Then on the rotten days use the car.
Although when mine were younger I took them to the bus stop by car.
Or drove them to and from school. I enjoyed the time (mostly....) catching up and making life easier as they had very intense hobbies most evenings and weekends.

arkela · 03/04/2019 03:15

Not in a million years. Lazy madam.

arkela · 03/04/2019 03:19

Even if she's had a rough day and wants to get home - it's seven minutes! The difference between, say, 4:16 and 4:23. She's not walking 5 miles each way! Goodness, OP, she's playing you.

Surfingtheweb · 03/04/2019 03:20

We teach them to be independent & organise themselves because we are raising future adults so they need to be self sufficient. But that aside, if you don't teach her now when she's 13,14,15,16 & 17 you'll end up being her taxi 😂

Cantbelieveit101 · 03/04/2019 03:21

If the weather is bad then yes I would.
Otherwise she can put her headphones on and listen to two songs and she is home.

SnowsInWater · 03/04/2019 03:24

A 7 minute walk, only if it was pouring rain or there was a specific reason as that is a really short walk. If it was 15/20 minutes I would start being more flexible to get her home faster.

expanded · 03/04/2019 03:24

In my experience children of your daughters age would rather walk home with friends than there being a chance being seen with your mum.

It can be daunting to walk on your own suddenly, I spoke to a 10 yr old recently who has just started to walk to school alone, he admitted he felt lonely.

Does your daughter walk to friends houses etc alone? Maybe she's had a bad experience. As a school girl I was flashed at by lorry drivers along the stretch of road I walked, I hope your daughter opens up to you if there is a problem.

MonsterKidz · 03/04/2019 04:03

I probably would tbh.

I was the kid who always wanted to be picked up from school...

SlinkyDinkyDoo · 03/04/2019 05:15

No way unless she was in a cast or had a ridiculous school art project to carry in to school.

Broken11Girl · 03/04/2019 05:18

I wouldn't, unless pouring down or snowing, or she had loads of heavy stuff to carry likecsn instrument or sports kit or DT project etc, not for 7 mins. She's not unfit and lazy if she does dance. Assuming she comes home from school and has time to chill before dance classes...is she very pushed for time to get ready? As others said, could she have had a bad experience being harassed by a creepy man, or bullied?

MrsWombat · 03/04/2019 06:56

Go and meet her and walk back with her, carrying her bag if needed.

Mememeplease · 03/04/2019 07:27

I've done a few lifts like that to be nice and because it's not really a problem and you are right, they do expect it then and cease to appreciate the few times you do. They just resent the times you don't.

I'm less likely to offer now.

crumpet · 03/04/2019 07:38

Ds’s school is a few miles away and I occasionally take him rather than the bus. Every time we go we pass a lady pushing a buggy with a baby, and with a (I’d guess 5 year old) little girl walking beside her who walks well over a mile from one village to the school in another. I’ve seen them doing this for over a year now in all seasons/all weathers.

Unless dreadful weather or carrying something unusually heavy a car ride instead of a 7min walk does seem a little over the top.

RitaFairclough · 03/04/2019 07:38

My son is the same age (well, he is still 11 but in y7) and also has a seven-min walk. His is only slightly uphill and to the station rather than the bus stop. I have only driven him in the morning once when something happened - can’t remember what but it wasn’t his fault - that meant he was running late. He leaves really early and his younger brother is normally still asleep so even if I was inclined to drive him I wouldn’t always be able to. I do meet him from the train on foot quite often, if we are in the area anyway. I actually laugh at him if he asks for a lift because we are so close to the station and his dad (and I, before I started working from home) does the same walk every day too.

TwoShades1 · 03/04/2019 07:55

She should walk. Unless the weather is not suitable (raining or very hot), she is unwell, she has something heavy to carry which is not a usual item or you are driving that way anyway.

LizzieSiddal · 03/04/2019 07:57

I used to with my Dds but it was a 20 min walk in country roads with no pavements or an isolated, footpath.

I also think it’s nice to do things for people who’ve had a hard day, so I’d maybe say to your DD “I’ll pick you up twice a week when you don’t fancy walking”.

TheSultanofPingu · 03/04/2019 08:09

A seven minute walk really is nothing. It shouldn't even be entering her head to ask you really.

maddiemookins16mum · 03/04/2019 08:12

Meeting her and carrying her bag for her!!! It’s like the mums I see on the way to work carrying lunch bags for 10 year olds (and a wafer thin book bag).
Compromise could be key here, Monday mornings and Friday mornings as a nice thing to do, that’s it.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 03/04/2019 08:52

arkela 'Lazy madam'? Fuck off. That phrase says more about you than the OP's DD.

TarragonSauce · 03/04/2019 08:57

No. And I say that as someone who has been dropping dd at the bus stop for the past 6 years, the difference being that we are 1.75 miles from the bus stop, along unlit, national speed limit roads with no footpath or pavements.
Actually,I've been dropping dc effing everywhere for the past 6 years. Needless to say, her 17th birthday present was driving lessons.

Original poster

twosoups1972 · 03/04/2019 10:31

Thank you all. I don't think she would go for the option of me walking with her, not because she'd be embarrassed (she's the only one getting off at her stop) but because it defeats the object of her getting home faster!

maddie I like that idea of doing it a couple of times a week only. Seems like a good compromise.

OP posts:

MillyMollyMandie · 03/04/2019 10:42

I think she just finds school really tiring and wants to get home fast

The ASD puts a completely different spin on it and knowing how exhausting those on the spectrum can find a day at school I think if she needs lifts then give her lifts. To and from school even.

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