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Original poster

Things MN have taught me that I do that annoy people

108 replies

clairemcnam · 30/03/2019 15:39

There are lots of things I do that I had no idea were unreasonable until MN. So a selection are:

saying things - oh you have got your hands full, when a woman has 3 or more young kids she is trying to herd along,
sneezing loudly,
saying - My bad,
having a toilet brush by the toilet,
asking people with kids if they are planning to have any more,
asking people if they work, and if yes what do they do,
saying things like - oh someone isn't happy - at a screaming baby,
talking to people in bus queues,

I think I should stop now! I should probably just stay in the house and not talk to anyone from now on!!

OP posts:

Redskyandrainbows67 · 31/03/2019 08:47

I hate dogs off lead - just because people don’t say anything doesn’t mean they’re not annoyed by it.

What’s wrong with a bin in a bathroom?!

RosaWaiting · 31/03/2019 10:53

I think a lot of this stuff depends if you live in a nice area or not. I don't live in a nice area, so chatting in the bus queue is a just a precursor to being "offered" drugs etc.

MsChicken · 31/03/2019 11:07

I'd talk to you in a bus queue - and I'd talk to your mum in a lift too.

Original poster

clairemcnam · 31/03/2019 11:11

Rosa
I live in a nice area, but used to live in a very very rough area. When I lived there I just used to chat to old people in bus queues, never got offered drugs by them.

And it's no more nosy than asking "When is it due?" coz frankly from that I can work out the conception date, too.
See it is that kind of thinking I find bizarre. People don't really care when your baby is due, they just recognise being pregnant is a very big deal for you and are trying to find polite things to say/ask. And if anyone cares about the conception date they can work it out anyway from your baby's birthday. But why would anyone else even think about this and why would you care??

Before MN I had no idea that some people even think this way.

OP posts:

BelulahBlanca · 31/03/2019 11:34

@SashaSkin I think that is very unfair. DD kicked off once when I was having my nails done and a lovley lady saw I was struggling and held her until my DM came to to collect her. I was so grateful.

FartersDay · 31/03/2019 11:37

BillyWig It is supposed to be sympathising. I know you are not stupid and can see your baby is screaming blue murder.

YES! same as the smile and eye roll when a kid is losing her shit on the pavement. It's meant to mean "Ive been there. Arent children unreasonable".

I will keep talking to strangers though. They're welcome to ignore me!

DareDevil223 · 31/03/2019 12:06

@Ronsters

I've got a white, upvc front door, have a bin my bathroom (lined with a carrier bag too), and have a fruit bowl on the kitchen worktop.

Me too, we are persona non grata

cosmicyeti · 31/03/2019 13:20

Labradors are nice though, all fluffy and daft

Bollocks. 2 black labs attacked my beautifully behaved GSD.

AnnaNutherThing · 31/03/2019 13:30

A woman approached me and my baby in a quiet InterCity carriage and asked if I liked to chat while I travelled. I said yes and she sat opposite me and we spoke from Glasgow to Preston. As we were pulling in to my station I started to get the pushchair when she called a young chap from over the other side of the carriage to help me off: it turned out it was her son who'd been sitting alone for the journey!

So yes I'd chat at the bus stop no bother.

PortiaCastis · 31/03/2019 13:42

I'm not bothered what others say I should do because I'm me and do what I feel is right for me like I definitely have toilet brushes and will chat to anyone but I do not like dogs jumping up at me and will say so to the owner. I also have a regional accent as does my dd and that's not going to change, who says any of these things are wrong anyway because they're not as we're all individual.

pasturesgreen · 31/03/2019 14:07

Some of these are just plain old-fashioned rude, like asking people with kids if they are planning to have any more (ditto asking if you work: if you've just met and don't know it'll probably come up in conversation, but by God don't ask directly, it's intrusive), or sneezing loudly or turning up at the door unannounced.

Most of the others I'm not too bothered about I have a loo brush.

Asta19 · 31/03/2019 14:50

Neither myself or my (now adult) DC drink water unless it’s an emergency hydration scenario!
My skirting boards get cleaned maybe once a year if that (they really don’t get dirty).
I have a toilet brush and bathroom bin. So embarrassing being a guest at someone’s home and having to ask them where I can dispose of my used sanitary towel
I eat sugar. In lots of things. I even add a teaspoon of it to gravy! Although I don’t like it in tea or coffee.

However, I don’t answer my door unless I’m expecting someone or a delivery.

Original poster

clairemcnam · 31/03/2019 14:52

pasturesgreen Why is asking someone if they work, and yes what they do, rude? It is a standard small chat question when you are getting to know someone.

OP posts:

MsChicken · 31/03/2019 16:27

So what do you do? I do my best (not to cross some invisible line in conversational etiquette)

I'm long-term self-employed, every day feels like a 24 hr forage for work or for people I can use, even when I'm flat out busy. I think most of my work has come from asking someone what they do, it's completely normal, I'd find it odd if someone didn't ask.

I'm very confused about the bog-brush.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 31/03/2019 17:11

Some people don't like dogs. They don't like them coming up and sniffing and pawing or trying to lick you.
If you can't recall your dog then keep it on a lead.
A lot of other things are just basic politeness. It isn't any of your business if someone is planning to have a child or not and it really isn't that much effort to give someone a heads up if you're thinking of popping over to see them. With modern tech it's incredibly easy. Will also save you a trip if they're busy or just not in the mood for company. I don't get what's so hard about this concept. It's not "making an appointment" it's just courtesy.

redzebra10 · 31/03/2019 18:34

telling someone they look well as this actually means according to mumsnet
you've put on weight you big fat heffer

in my world it means you look well

redzebra10 · 31/03/2019 18:38

another one, when someone tells you their good news and i reply oh good for you.
i am according to mn i'm being nasty and sarcastic
nope i'm really happy for them
it's a fucking mine field i tell ya

FartersDay · 31/03/2019 19:14

I've been on MN for nearly a decade and this thread is the first ive hears of a school run dress!

Mari50 · 31/03/2019 19:38

parking over other people's driveways, if there's no car parked on the drive, it's no problem!
It is if they want to get back into their driveway at some point....

DuploRelatedInjury · 31/03/2019 19:44

I only have instant coffee in the house. In fact it's worse than that - it's decaf instant coffee because DH is the only one who drinks it. And none of our mugs match.

I do have several types of teabag though and Twinings hot chocolate so maybe that balances things out!

Skincaresos · 31/03/2019 19:56

Urgh I hate dogs off leads. I don't want to be slobbered or pawed at and have no interest in meeting a random dog. I am polite about it but bloody hate it.

Kennehora · 31/03/2019 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 31/03/2019 20:29

I think it's quite normal when among a group of friends who have very young children for "Are you planning to have any more?" to come up in conversation. It's a similar sort of intimacy to me to discussing childbirth, which again I'll happily do among a group of people I'm friendly with in connection with our children. It would be a bit weird to me though to be asked about things like epidurals and family planning by a stranger in the supermarket queue.

The sneezing threads on here utterly baffle me :o

TotalNoob · 31/03/2019 20:46

@redzebra10 “you look well” most definitely means “you look well fed” imo.

Original poster

clairemcnam · 31/03/2019 20:49

You look well means....you look well.

OP posts:

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