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Original poster

Things MN have taught me that I do that annoy people

108 replies

clairemcnam · 30/03/2019 15:39

There are lots of things I do that I had no idea were unreasonable until MN. So a selection are:

  • saying things - oh you have got your hands full, when a woman has 3 or more young kids she is trying to herd along,
  • sneezing loudly,
  • saying - My bad,
  • having a toilet brush by the toilet,
  • asking people with kids if they are planning to have any more,
  • asking people if they work, and if yes what do they do,
  • saying things like - oh someone isn't happy - at a screaming baby,
  • talking to people in bus queues,

I think I should stop now! I should probably just stay in the house and not talk to anyone from now on!!

OP posts:
Jinglejanglefish · 30/03/2019 17:58

I love dogs too, happy for them to approach all the time! They hardly ever do though.

BackforGood · 30/03/2019 18:00

Like you OP, I do most of your list. Not planning to change though, being friendly (and sympathetic) is who I am.
I too, drop in on people if I am by their house and have time. I LOVE it when people pop in on me.
I don't make anyone take their shoes off when they come into my house.
I don't hate my MiL or ban her from seeing her GC

Original poster
clairemcnam · 30/03/2019 18:03

I loved my MIL, I was so upset when she died. A really lovely woman.

OP posts:
TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 30/03/2019 18:05

I also say Santa, find Hallowe'en entirely acceptable and say "Can I get...?" but not because I'm trying to be "American" (another cardinal sin on MN) but because I'm Scottish.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 30/03/2019 18:06

I don't automatically offer to take my shoes off in other people's houses.

I drink more than 14 units a week.

I think McDonalds once a week is too often. Once a month ditto.

I have never worn a school run dress in my life.

I hate bleach and I have a loo brush.

I've never been to Center Parcs, any Disney theme park, or a holiday camp and never intend to.

Jinglejanglefish · 30/03/2019 18:17

What's a school run dress?!!!

isabellerossignol · 30/03/2019 18:23

I was always taught that it was spectacularly rude to take your shoes off in someone else's house. So obviously I don't take my shoes off because to me that's very rude. So that would certainly annoy people on MN!

I sit and have a coffee at soft play and only take an occasional wander round to check that all is ok. I don't follow my children around the climbing equipment. I've never been to a soft play where that would be allowed, they all have notices up saying that the equipment is for children only. But I keep reading on here that it's poor parenting not to accompany your child.

I talk with the accent that corresponds to where I live. I don't try to change my speech patterns to match what is considered 'correct'.

I say Santa because that's what has always been used here. It's not an American import, it's normal speech.

soontobefour4 · 30/03/2019 18:30

This is one thing I've learnt from mumsnet but also from being a pregnant mum expecting her second DC any day - 'are you hoping for a girl/boy this time so you have one of each?'.

The number of people I have said this to in the past I dread to think 🤦‍♀️ Now people are saying it to me and I HATE it and want to apologise to everyone I have ever said it to in my lifetime.

BarmyLlama · 30/03/2019 18:32

School run dress Confused.
If it's what I think it is then it may be what epitomises Mumsnet.

I'm with you OP. So many people on here seem to be all or nothing. i.e, they either call out anyone who does anything vaguely suboptimal OR they'd never dream of judging anybody. I'd say it's the first crowd that stands out the most though.

FlibbertyGiblets · 30/03/2019 18:40

Claire I loved my late MIL too. Tomorrow will be a bit hard.

School run dress: you prance about the garden in yer scruffs, dead heading and knifing the turf edges etc. Then omg it's 10 to 3. Quick change, plop dress over your head and float off to pickup wee ones. Or if you've been baking and frankly your kitchen has had a Festival of Flour Alicante-style, pull it on and stride out.

V useful. Cod and ?Finny? used to scout out possible contenders. Pull on, not fiddly, low maintenance.

BangingOn · 30/03/2019 18:51

The best thing about the school run dress is the annual indignation from posters who cannot believe some people have a specific wardrobe for the school run and the whole concept has to be explained numerous times on each thread.

KindnessCrusader · 30/03/2019 18:52

Having 4 kids.

EssentialHummus · 30/03/2019 18:59

asking people with kids if they are planning to have any more

I think this is impolite for a couple of reasons. The other things on your list I couldn’t get heated up about.

Conversely to a PP, I eat at McDonalds once a week and consider it optimal McDonalds-eating frequency.

Bravelurker · 30/03/2019 19:01

Regarding the not showing up unannounced stems from living in London in my 20s. My friends lived at least 30 minute tube ride from anywhere I ever lived so no one would show up without notice.

However, moving back to my home town was a completely different egg altogether. Everyone lives nearby and everybody has kids/partners so have get used to people knocking on doors at any time.

Trying to get people to give me a text before hand was a nightmare because living on my own makes for rather eccentric wee habits, such as walking around naked, wearing a face mask Blush

KindnessCrusader · 30/03/2019 19:01

My dogs being off lead.I've only ever met a couple of people annoyed at this as the majority of people love my dogs coming up to them for a fuss.

I'd be really annoyed but way too English to shout at you.

JaneJeffer · 30/03/2019 23:55

asking people with kids if they are planning to have any more,
Don't!

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 31/03/2019 02:06

I have a bin in my bathroom.

I know MN considers this unacceptable.

Sashkin · 31/03/2019 02:46

Now instead of saying 'someone's not happy' I tend to go with something along the lines of 'can I help?/do you need a hand

This is really no better. DH, DS2 and I were on a flight in January that was massively delayed (we were meant to be flying at 1pm, actually took off at 6pm). DS was overtired, bored out of his mind (airport travellators are fun, but after five hours even they get old), and pissed off about being strapped into a lap belt. So he screamed. And screamed. Oh, and kicked and threw himself about. DH and I tried to calm him with books, drinks, screens, snacks, rocking to sleep. Not interested.

About 30mins into the screaming, some elderly lady (I mention her age because she clearly had no magic baby-calming devices up her sleeve) came over and said “can I help you? Your baby’s crying” like we might not have noticed. Really, really unhelpful.

WinterHeatWave · 31/03/2019 03:06

I live somewhere most of you will find totally unacceptable.

I have no problems with dogs off the lead if you call them back if they start running towards me, and most definitely if I ask you to call them back. Dont just laugh at me and tell me they are friendly, when my 6'5 father is as white as a sheet and shaking beside me - he and I have the scars to show you are not always right.

NiteFlights · 31/03/2019 07:11

My dogs being off lead.I've only ever met a couple of people annoyed at this as the majority of people love my dogs coming up to them for a fuss.

No! And I always ask the owner before I pat a dog on a lead, in case they don’t want me to. Dogs off lead can be a menace - ‘he’s friendly!’ shouts the owner from half a mile away as the dog smothers me with mud and drool.

Ronsters · 31/03/2019 07:49

I've got a white, upvc front door, have a bin my bathroom (lined with a carrier bag too), and have a fruit bowl on the kitchen worktop.

I don't speak to people on the bus or to anyone with crying babies, depending on which way the thread is going that day on MN, this could be good or bad.

Iggly · 31/03/2019 07:58

I love these threads. Lots of people declaring that they’re breaking MN code because they do/don’t do x/y/z.

There are loads here. Which indicates that, actually, there isn’t a MN “code” or way.

DuggeesWoggle · 31/03/2019 08:06

Well get this, DH and I went round to introduce ourselves to our new neighbours, unannounced!! (And what's not, she was glad we did!)

HarrySnotter · 31/03/2019 08:33

Oh I really hate when dogs are off the lead. I'm doing a lot of training with my dog, which is fine when other dogs are on lead, but when another dog runs up and either jumps on him or me, everything goes to shit. It's unbelievably selfish. Though the kind of person who does this generally doesn't care or understand, they seem to think that everyone should be fine about it.

DailyMailSucksWails · 31/03/2019 08:40

Asked people "Was it planned?"

I was unplanned. DH was unplanned. Most our children were unplanned. And our parents & siblings. I didn't know it was something to be ashamed about.

*And it's no more nosy than asking "When is it due?" coz frankly from that I can work out the conception date, too.