Am I ungrateful for this reaction to Mother's Day?

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Earlier in the week I told DH what I was getting my Mum as I got a discount code to share from the seller. He said for once he was sorted but couldn't tell me what it was as it's the same as his Mum.
Today we have gone out and he said " oh your gift is out for delivery so you won't get it !" I said can't you tell them to leave with a neighbour?
Just now a message cane from MIL thanking us for X gift. So now I know the gift as he didn't bother to tell her to not mention it and I probably won't get it on the day.
Just some flowers on the day would have been great. He said I'm ungrateful, I feel like the lack of care is an insult.

Ahh fuck it missed a trick there.

Cheese is gouda 😀😀😀

at branston pickle!

I wouldn’t be happy with cheese. It’s a bit of an odd choice if you’re not a cheese freak!

OP, it’s not too late, go out and treat yourself to something nice and indulgent for tomorrow.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, if tomorrow means something to you and if your husband is not reciprocating what you’ve done for him, it’s disappointing.

Can you pop out and get some chocolates or a cake today that you can share with your children tomorrow? I know it’s not quite the same but treat yourself, it sounds like you’ve got your hands full and deserve to be appreciated even if it’s by you!

I assumed it worked like this. As a baby you get the mother a card and a small gift, then when they are older it becomes a hand made card and something small they can give. Once they are adults they give a card a bought present.
I assumed it worked like this. Children of nursery or infants school age make a card at nursery or school. Adults buy a card for their own mother. You do something together, such as go out for a meal with your children, or as an extended family with your mother or grandmother, or visit your mother or grandmother for tea or coffee, and bring something like a cake or a treat to share and some flowers.

Some wine with the cheese is a gouda idea

I'd feel the same as you. YANBU

Why on Earth are people expected to get something for their partners? You are not his mother! (Same for Father’s Day btw)

Oooh how dairy forget to tell his mum not to mention the cheese

@Purplecatshopaholic because when dc are too young they can't mark the day themselves and because, you know what? It's a bloody nice thing to do. It's not about being materialistic. My dc bring me breakfast in bed and coffee (dh makes it with them and buys the ingredients) then we go out for lunch booked and planned by dh. If the dm has to plan the day then surely it's pointless.

Why are dh's not allowed to do nice things for the mother of their dc? It's not that high an expectation. Honestly, mn is bloody depressing sometimes.

What’s he done wrong? I can’t work it out.

Tell you what though I’m bored to death of all these whinging threads about Mother’s Day.

GreatDuckCookery

I think the Op is going to dis-a-Brie with you.

Whoooops!! I saw something on Facebook I knew DH would love and it was BOGOF so I had one made for my mum too 😂😂
Annoyingly it's both her birthday and Mother's Day before Father's Day this year and since it was brought for him in mind I'm gonna save it for Christmas for her ! Doh !

I won't get anything tomorrow. I have an ex DH who won't encourage our 2 DS to do anything nice, because he's a twat. And my current DH is going out all day to watch football.

So I'll have your cheese if you don't want it. 😃

I thought the cheese gift was a Grate idea.

All this “you’re not his mother” crap annoys the hell out of me!!

Me too, though I think it's a weird MN thing. In RL decent men help their kids sort out a card/gift that their wife/partner will like.

I'm indifferent to Mother's Day but because I'm not married to an arsehole, DS has always got me flowers - even when he was a few months old!

No you are not being ungrateful OP. As parents it is down to us to teach our children how to behave to others. In the same way I taught my children to send Birthday/Christmas/Fathers day gifts/cards on time and to choose something thoughtful my husband taught them that if they thought I was a good mum and they appreciated what I do for them, a card and breakfast in bed was a kind and thoughtful thing to do. My adult sons are autistic but even they make sure they get a card and/or small gift for me in the same way I have always shown thought and care for their special occasions. You OH has not tried very hard at all. When they were small my children loved the excitement of shopping and choosing things for me and could not wait to give it to me in the morning. I somehow doubt your little ones would be excited to give you cheese. I doubt his mother was bowled over by that choice either. Its not the price of a gift its the thought. Last year my 13 yr old washed cars to save enough to buy me a yankee candle completely her idea as my OH pays for them until they have a part time job. It was much appreciated by me and she loves it when I light it because she is proud she thought of it.

You’re on a —cheese— roll Palominoo!

Has strikeout changed??

That's very Rind of you to say that GreatDuckCookery.

Loving the cheese puns by the way

You are very ungrateful. Grow up

You are very ungrateful. Grow up

ODFOD

Molly how old are your DS? Could your DH not help them get something for you? Or are they teens and perfectly capable of sorting something for you?

GreatDuck the impression I get is that DH bought some cheese for his DM, and then whether it was on special offer or just because it was there, he bought some for OP on behalf of the DC, who are unable to buy presents themselves due to age/disability. Problem is it would appear cheese is not OP’s favourite thing, so not really a very thoughtful present!

You’re not being ungrateful. He’s a lazy, thoughtless arse. He’s thought, mum likes cheese, I know I’ll get that for OP too.

My DH pulls stunts like this. Overseas work trip, brings back 3 gifts the same, for me, his mum and daughter. “But yours is nicer” he moaned. Erm they’re the same, why would any of us want the same present off him. Hint, we don’t.

Usually I'd be in the 'you're ungrateful' camp for this sort of thing but actually I don't think you are because I'm sort of feeling a bit the same today.

DS is 20 months and I'm 40 weeks pregnant on Tuesday with DC2. DH announced at about 11 this morning that he needed to go to Aldi to do his Mother's Day bits and came home with 2 identical bunches of flowers which are sat on the worktop with their £5 label on and 2 identical boxes of chocolates and cards which he shoved in the kitchen cupboard. Obviously one set is for me and the other for his mum.

I know I must sound really ungrateful, but I'd have loved him to do a homemade card with DS or something (which I hinted at last year) or just put a little bit more thought into it seeing as I'm feeling massive, unattractive and am about to push out our next baby in the next few days (probably another whopper as well thanks to his giant genetics - can you tell I'm hormonal?!?!).

Maybe he's fooling me and there will be a nice homemade card or something a bit more thoughtful tomorrow!

Well he should have planned better, even if it meant MIL taking delivery of both and him collecting or with a neighbour etc. But the thought was there? Make sure there's crackers and port or red wine though 😉