Apparently I'm too old!!

[watfordmummy]

So last night I was on FB and saw a decorate a post saying there were still places available on a cookie decorating workshop.

Well I love that crap, and sent a PM to say interested. The lady came back to me to say to reserve place I should pay. I duly did, and thought would introduce myself further.

The group was called first mummies club, but I assumed it was like Mumsnet so ALL mums welcome. Boy was I wrong.

"Normally, First Mummies' Club is aimed at Mums of primary school aged children and below.

When other Mums have approached me before who have older children, I've suggested alternative groups that may be more suitable."

Really?? I'm not welcome to do crafts as I have older children??

As you've paid me, I'd be happy to have you on this occasion.

Ahhh.
Your mistake was not to check out their website first. It's for LIKE MINDED Mummies.
Not you then
Nor me.
I wonder if their meeting room is painted in Commander's Wife Blue.

Can I join your menopausal mummies group instead?

Christ, OP. Having trawled through the FB site and the comments, it sounds fucking awful.

"I need some Jo time."
"A truly hygge evening."

And what in the fresh hell is that unidentifiable monstrosity that Zoe went and finished? The knitted cat sick rectangle?

Nowhere near Watford, but can I suggest these for your first cookie craft workshop?

She sounds a bit bonkers. At a stretch, a mother of a primary school child could still be a teenager herself, or could be over 50 and any age in between and isn't it a good thing to get different people of different ages together in an environment where they can chat and share their life experiences, while undertaking a shared interest?

Can you imagine turning up and having to talk all about your family, your feelings and all the things that you love when all you wanted was to decorate a fucking biscuit.

On the upside, this thread has made me snort out loud several times.

That FB is glorious. It's a gift that keeps on giving, especially the videos. Someone needs to set up an alternative one to satirise that whole "worshipful mummiehood" mentality.

watford The woman that runs the club has just posted a VERY long response to your review.

I bet the biscuits don't even look like that. I bet they're shit biscuits.

So many random capitals in that essay reply.

Even the name gives me rage! What does First Mummies even mean? Are they the first people ever to be mothers? Are they members of the American presidential family?

Her response is disingenuous anyway. If she was just giving you info about the demographic, why would she say that she'd accept your booking "this time"? Clearly she means that you wouldn't normally be accepted?

What does First Mummies even mean? She says it's about putting Mums First (her capitals). So why not call it that?

I can't stop laughing at "children aged five and under as this is when the overwhelm for busy mums is so great".

The blithe assumption is adorable, really.

Bless her has she ever met a teenager?

Also, I now want to storyboard a horror film starring a big villain-blob called The Overwhelm.

I miss that naivety. That life would be easier once the early years were navigated.

Life was so easy then. So straightforward.

Some oldies like us would probably be beneficial to dispel some myths of babydom being the hard part.
Or it would be a series of hollow laughs and mutterings of ‘just you wait’.

big villain-blob called The Overwhelm

Can I play the role please? I'm quite big, being a mammoth.

Absolutely. The costume department is that way >

Life was so easy then. So straightforward.

Some oldies like us would probably be beneficial to dispel some myths of babydom being the hard part.
Or it would be a series of hollow laughs and mutterings of ‘just you wait’.

We could just sit there icing our biscuits, throwing out the odd dark allusion.

I'm disappointed she hasnt taken the time to explain the nature of the group clearly to Blessing James!!😂😂😂

Overwhelm as a noun [shudders]

Oh jeezo, wait till their bairns really give them trouble. My eleven year old is as tall as me - I'm 5'7 - and her attitude is 28 feet high!

I think I'm even more than I was last night!!

Completely missing the point!!!

Who needs a class!!!

I can only see 100% 5* * reviews.

None score less than 5.

Where is OP's review?

Haha!!! Brilliant biscuits! Who needs a class indeed!

Those biscuits are out of this world.