I am very much no longer young

[StealthPolarBear]

I am turning forty this year and am having a mild and amusing mid life crisis.
Lots if little things, but the latest is that I've just tried to brush away a stubborn eye brow hair that was lodged just under my eye... It was a wrinkle.
I have also developed joint pain, in my thumb of all places.
Please tell me this is as bad as it gets :o

Oh God yes. I'm going deaf and find people mutter, cover their mouth with their hand when speaking and either don't finish sentences or they say the final words so quietly if as if they've been muted.

I've taken to bellowing at my partner ”I can't hear you” when he calls me and all I can hear after my name is muffled words. He then gets mightily miffed that I've stopped his verbal flow of consciousness to actually find out what he's saying...!

Glad I'm not the only one with a bed jacket!

Bah! I'm turning that age this year. I wear vintage clothing and skinny jeans and boots and don't give a toss. Yes I have grey hairs but as I wear berets it's hidden anyways and I've had grey hair since my early 20s. I can't wear high heels for long but that problem I've had since about 6/7 years. The batwings I have are my jumpers. I don't know of the rest of any of what other posters have mentioned and yes my underwear is from M and S but the kids section as I'm petite.Middle age can do one, I look at people my age with kids etc and I look about 20. Just because you are the age doesn't mean you have to look it or act it. I had a midlife crisis in my early 30s.
When I look at what acting my age has to offer me it's a clear 'no thanks!'

My mil died last fall and i'm the only person who is really upset. She and i had similar tastes, although not personalities.

We both adored decorating. Now, we/dh and siblings are dividing her possessions and i am worried; that house was her life. She loved it more than gc. I am very upset now bc i don't want to die with only a house to show for it!

I'm completely overhauling my priorities. From now on it's accomplishments, not pretties.

I grieved when my mother and father died but this death is changing me emotionally.
I can't explain it.

Cats I'm so sorry :(
Cms please link to the boots facial hair remover. I have been wondering whether to risk full face threading again but this wpuld be much kinder.
Yes to the deafness, although in fairness that's been the case since I was ill at 18. Getting worse though and I agree so many people speak with their hands over their mouths and news reporters 'tail off' at the end of their sentences. On absolute radio the news is accompanied by music with a heavy beat, which for me drowns out each third word. Like those make your own adventure books from the 80s, make your own news.

I've had a few deaths of young family members which hit me because they were so unfair. My cousin in his early thirties was hard. But personally, I wasn't close to them. I've also had some elderly relatives die, I miss them a lot but its the way it goes.
Before Christmas my god mother died. She was larger than life with a loud voice strong opinions and dirty jokes. She had been a fixture in my life all my 40 years and her deaths was painful and distressing for her and bloody unfair. I am struggling to come to terms with the fact she no longer exists in the world.

Sorry just to be clear I am completely recovered from my illness, its my deafness that's getting worse. I SAID IT'S MY DEAFNESS THAT'S GETTING WORSE.

On a more serious note ,I do think it's fantastic to keep fit and healthy and I understand the posters saying that age is just a number, but I think it depends hugely on what happens health wise.

My mother was always super active, she cycled, gardened and was super house proud so always cleaning and looking after everyone.

At 60 she developed polymialgia, rhuematoid arthrtis and osteoporosis and is now disabled at 79. The change was very hard for her, and as much as she tried to keep going it was impossible and I'm sure it had a huge impact mentally.

She is still young at heart though, but until you've experienced the effect deteriorating health can have it is easy to think remaining young is as easy as your thought process and lifestyle (which of course impacts it, but it doesn't stop aging or illness happening.)
It has made me appreciate that I'm relatively fit and healthy, but because midlife seems to be the time that lots of things start creeping up on you, it fills me with a bit of apprehension to be honest. Plus the fact that our mortality is highlighted by getting closer to the hearse at every funeral and its no wonder that aging can be a bit shit.

I think its great that we can compare what is happening with others and have a laugh about it, we aren't alone!

I think me getting all sanctimonious must be an age thing too Sorry folks!

Oh deafness lol yes! I used to hate ringing my mum 'cos I had to repeat myself all the time. Now my son has to repeat himself all the time to me. Add a husband that struggles to hear and I can often be found angrliy marching down supermarket aisles with armfuls of stuff bellowing his name like Mrs Trunchbull while he wanders off to the beer aisle with the trolley, blissfully unaware of the banshee behind him

The chin hairs are wonderfully satisfying to pluck.

My favourite thing is Friday night where I can sit with a glass of wine and watch Gardeners World. Sometimes I knit while I watch it. Joy.

My parents however, now in their 70s still regularly party until 3am.

God yes the deafness! I had started to wonder why everyone on the tv mumbles incessantly, then I realized I can't hear what my DC are saying half the time.

I can often be found angrliy marching down supermarket aisles with armfuls of stuff bellowing his name like Mrs Trunchbull while he wanders off to the beer aisle with the trolley

Useful tip - for this reason I insist now that we have a trolley each when supermarket shopping - my OH would always disappear with the trolley and I too would spend hours wandering frustrated around the aisles - arms weighted down with items trying to locate my trolley. Now I just collect my own trolley on the way in - problem solved. We now shop in blissful togetherness or alone-ness, whichever the case may be, and reconvene at the checkout.

Hi, re: hair removal cream it's Boots Smooth Care hair removal cream for sensitive skin FACE, I've tried to upload a picture of the box (sorry if it hasn't worked, I'm not good with all this technology stuff).

Re: deafness I find it so difficult on my night shifts (I'm a nurse) to make out what the agency carers are saying. One lady said to me this week "the resident in rm 16, his catheter is blocked" I wasted 20 mins running around looking for bladder washouts only to find his urine bag was full of blood. When I went back to her she looked at me like I was mad and shouted, "That is what I tell you. His catheter IT IS BLOOD". So she said "it is blood" and I heard "it is blocked". It goes on all night & it wears me out.

Great thank you :)

I joke about needing an ear trumpet! I'm fine at work or one to one conversations but if there is background noise, I cannot isolate the conversation from the surrounding sounds at all. I smile and nod and pray that no one is telling me about the death of a loved one.

Great thread!

Well yes, ageing is a thing, and a universal one, so its surprising we are so surprised and get caught unawares 😀 However I am SO grateful to be hurtling into older age at a time of modern technology and medicine.

If you still have it all to look forward to, for me there are some real positives.

Hysterectomy.....cant speak for everyone of course but if you are putting off or dreading a possible hysterectomy, well it was life changing for me. Wish I had done it sooner
HRT .....absolutely bloody marvellous.
Hearing aids......fantastic! for all of you moaning GET THEM! I have no understanding why people happily wear contacts or glasses for deficient eyes but refuse absolutely to sort out their ears.Nothing ages you more than spending your days saying "eh?.... what? EH?" Or looking blankly at the speaker like there is no-one home. 😀
Reading glasses.......tremendous. I have millions of them everywhere concealed about my person and every bag. While you spend £££££ for designer prescription goggles, reading glasses are c£2 🤣 Pick up some really snazzy ones in Flying Tiger.

At 25 your armoury is lipstick, killer heels, a good haircut and ibuprofen.
At 55 its tweezers, comfy trainers, a good haircut and ibuprofen.

Plus ca change.😀

I don't have whiskers!

but on the facial hair thing, is it partly because everyone seems to remove every scrap of facial hair now? I have been looking at my upper lip and wondering if I should remove that hair but that's probably because everyone else does. My local high street - rough area - is full of beauty salon type places (can you tell I don't do all this as i don't know what to call them).

whatashower do hearing aids help with the noisy background situations? When I get my ears tested, I can still hear pins drop if it is quiet but I just can't hear anything with background noise. Can a hearing aid amplify specific things or do you just end up with a mighty howling in social situations?

Turning 50 soonish.

I just realised that I will be 50ish soon when we went to a restaurant over the weekend and the waiter asked if we liked seated outside or inside. Nice day, outside of course. Walked in that direction and then noticed that the kids play area was also outside....... Nope, inside please.

Have a newish DP who is the same age. What shall we do tonight I say? Seeing as we only get to see one another over weekends I was dreading a suggestion of actually having to go somewhere. When he said, how about we order in a pizza and see whats on the telly did I realise he is a keeper

I am starting to think that the pms mood swings are a little bit more than just pms. Seeing as I spent nearly the whole day sobbing yesterday about a trivial little argument that normally wouldnt even have bothered me a few years back.

And, when we went for a day out..... i made egg mayo sandwiches to haul along. My teenager dc and their OH were pretty aghast when they found out. Should add in here that not one was left after all the initial whining about the pong they would create once the lid was removed.

Tweezering is part of the daily face care routine these days.

And I am really beginning to enjoy anything lavender scented.

Sigh.

margo My aids are calibrated with settings for different situations including background noise, so yes I think it worth investigating. (I had a high frequency range loss, and was struggling to hear television dialogue specifically. The aids were a revelation - it was amazing and at dawn quite annoying to hear birds again)

The NHS service and care was truly fantastic and the aids themselves incredibly discreet. (Prior to getting a test my sum knowledge of hearing matters was all those cheesy black and white House of Hearing ads running alongside offers for mens polyester trousers ...... and tales of £3k costs 😀)

I wear the same comfy bra all the time. I'm 46.

Namechanger I wear the same comfy bra all the time too, and it gives me the rage when it's in the wash and I have to wear my identical, very slightly less comfortable bra. The rage I tell ya!

Comfy bra. Oh I'd love one Anything less than a tent with scaffolding and my back gets irked. The floor gets a sweep though. Silver linings and all that.

Thank you whatashower that is encouraging to hear (ha!) .

49 here.

Elasticated waists
Floaty tops to cover the big tum
Regular facial plucking
Comfy shoes
Gloves
Thick warm bed socks
Tinted moisturiser not thick foundation that settles in cracks

also have bad arthritis now in both hands

spent a while the other day trying to brush a hair off my face, it was a wrinkle