'I love your hair!'

[FurrySlipperBoots]

Is that an acceptable thing to tell a woman these days? You're not supposed to say it to a little girl are you? The internet is full of advice against saying 'I love your hair/What a pretty dress/Fab sparkly bracelet!' The thing is, I think the lady in question has a really flattering hairstyle and it's a gorgeous colour. Should I tell her I think so in the hope of giving her a happy-buzz, or not because I don't want her to feel judged on her appearance? I'm another woman if that makes a difference.

What? Men have stopped judging women on their appearance? On which planet?

In the situation I described, if men in my workplace were doing that, I’d be talking to HR.

I usually compliment women on something that stands out or ask them where they got it. I have long pillarbox red hair and quite often people will tell me how much they like the colour. It’s just small things that make your day a bit better sometimes.

I would say generally people like to be complimented, ime. Better than being critical or putting them down any way.

There’ll always be some people who don’t like it but I would think they’re in the minority.

Blunt, what are you on about?

You and fission are the only two posters repeatedly posting about how appalling you find a compliment. You can't give one, receive one and don't wish to hear anyone else get one.

So what's driving this. It's not a normal reaction, a compliment if often no more than an a random act of kindness. It boosts people's self esteem when meant genuinely. It is not a negative but it is for you and fission.

So what's causing your reaction? Is it your own appearance, something that happened to you in the past?

The response from fission of if someone says something nice to her about her appearance, her internal thought process is "go fuck yourelf" s very sad indeed.

You can't give one, receive one and don't wish to hear anyone else get one.

Um, that’s inaccurate on all three counts, but you clearly have your own drum to bang, and a degree in armchair psychology gathering dust.

If you reread my posts it might clarify?

PS Are you one of those blunt types who ‘tell it like it is’? and fail to notice other people don’t appreciate their forthrightness quite as much as they imagine

So what's causing your reaction? Is it your own appearance, something that happened to you in the past?

Channelling Sigmund Freud?

Is it something you'd say to anyone else? A man (assuming he had great hair)?

I'm wary of complimenting black people on their hair, as I know it is a very contentious area. I don't want to contribute to the culture that expects black women to spend a fortune on getting hair to meet white people's expectations of 'professional'.

I have lovely curly hair. Lots & lots of curly hair
I’m always gettting complimented about it when I’m out and about especially if I’m on holiday and I wear it with hardly any products to tame it a bit.
I have no issue with it . On holiday I even had a old guy tell my DH that your wife has gorgeous hair ( I did piss myself at that compliment and it was at 2am in the morning so he might have been drunk )
I really like it and it makes my day

Sosayi mine is masses of curls too. And very bright copper. Often get called Merida 😂 I love the compliments. Spent years hating my curls and people allegedly don't like ginger, so it's bloody awesome 😄