Does your DH ever leave the house without telling you he's going out?

[SeizeASalad]

Is this normal? DH just leaves the house. He doesn't tell me he's going or anything and most of the time I hear the front door close and other times I've wondered where he is and looked in all the rooms in the house before I realise he's left.

He usually ignores my texts or sometimes doesn't even take his phone. This really annoys me but he thinks im.being controlling for him to tell me that's he's leaving the house and where he's going.

I disagree with him. I wouldn't refuse or anything but I think it's disrespectful of him to just leave. Im sure he wouldn't like it if I did the same.

It is a bit odd not to even say 'I'm popping out'. Where does he go?

I should add that he's just done this. I have been upstairs playing with baby. I assumed he was downstairs and when I came down an hour later there's no sign of him.

No he doesn't, but I do. I can't be arsed hunting round the house for him (shed? Garage? Office! ? Attic?) so I just bugger off. It doesn't bother him.

That’s so rude! Where is he normally?

Yes but usually during an arguement. Goes for a smoke/to the pub to calm down. Fucks me right off because I’d never just assume dh has got the children but default parent and all that....

He would go to a friend's house, his brothers or something like that. Its not a quick trip to the supermarket to buy a few essentials. I wouldn't think anything of it, if it was a quick nip to the shops.

I wouldn't like that at all. It doesn't sound like someone who's committed to the relationship.

In my opinion, not normal.

I'm not married but if DP is going out he says he's going out and usually where. He works from home a lot and with 2 children it can be hard to get peace for a conference call etc. Sometimes he just says he's heading out for a bit and I know it's to do with work stuff. He usually goes to the local costa sorts what he has to do and bring me coffee and cake home lol

I think it's being unreasonable to just walk out without not saying a word and defo not controlling to just give you the courtesy of "I'm going out..."

No, he doesn’t. We have kids so taking off without saying anything would imply I’m the default parent, which would be a dick move.

Nobody in this house would do that. Even if ds who is 22 is staying at home he would send a text or shout up to us "i'm heading out with xyz"

If dh did this when the kids were little, I'd be really ticked. How does he know that you don't have something planned later that needs him to be with the baby? It is only common courtesy. And why doesn't he answer his texts?

No , he’d never go out without telling me
I wouldn’t go out either
Bit disrespectful, and inconsiderate imho

My dp does this. Just goes out. It will just take his fancy to pop to Halfords or B&Q and off he'll go. He does always answer his phone though so i can track him down. Then he sounds totally confused as to why I should find this odd behaviour. He wont change. I find it rude and disrespectful.

Exactly. I have other children too but they are at a friend's house so he's just left me with the baby.

What if you both started doing it, and one day u both go out assuming the other is in and ur DC is left alone. Would he think that was ok? It's very odd behaviour.

He definitely does this when he's in a bit of a mood. He denies this but won't tell me what's up.

No. He would nip to the garage at the most. The shops for 10 mins would be reasonable put polite still to let you know.
For a visit to family or for anymore than 30 mins it is rude!

no never.
the least is a text message if he wasn't able to speak to me before going out. and same for me tbh.
we tell each other where we are going (and usually why) and when back. and most importantly who's in charge of dc.

No but then I wouldn’t be upstairs on my own playing with the baby until 9pm either

No he doesn't and neither do I. We even say if we're just going out into the garden or to talk to a neighbour.

Is he jealous of the DC?

It's disrespectful and weird.

Why is that odd ? GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

Its not the point of the thread. I was just doing a few things as well as entertaining baby at the same time.

No and neither would I, wouldn't even cross my mind, it's a few seconds to say I'm just popping to wherever.

It fascinates me why people in relationships deliberately do disrespectful things that they know annoys their partner, why would you want to make them unhappy?

No. But he does go to the garage to tinker without mentioning it. But then I know if I can’t find him that’s where he’ll be.

Mine does a bit of both in that he'll announce he's going out to Halfords or something then faff for hours and then eventually I'll hear the front door shutting and I'll realise he's gone. Whereas I'd say I'm going to Halfords, do the insurance wee, grab my coat and bag and loudly shout "Bye then, I'm off!". I did find his way odd at first but then realised his whole family don't announce departures or arrivals. Actually, I still find it odd.

Why are we allowed to pass judgment on his behaviour but not yours? I just think that’s odd and a bit rude in itself.