Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Totally gobsmacked over 4 year old

88 replies

cjt110 · 02/03/2019 13:49

My son(4) has just had a massive meltdown at a play gym. We went with friends and he didnt want his orange and said his friend could have it. Then once only one segment was left decided he wanted it.

This resulted in kicking screaming punching. I ended up removing him from the playgym and coming home. He also bit me. This is all mostly out of character. I've sent him straight to bed.

Hes been in there 10 mins and is crying and talking to himself. What do I do? Do I leave him to it or bring him out or what

OP posts:
EspressoPatronum · 02/03/2019 13:50

Go see if he wants a cuddle!

MrsAukerman · 02/03/2019 13:50

Leave him til he comes and says sorry. Or at least looks a bit sorry!

JontyDoggle37 · 02/03/2019 13:51

Having had very similar behaviour from our nearly four year old the last few days, he’s just told us it stings when he wees...he’s had a urine infection brewing. Might be worth a check

HerculesMulligan · 02/03/2019 13:52

My 4yo is normally beautifully behaved (not a brag, he's just always been that way) but will occasionally have a meltdown like this when he's just getting poorly. Watch out for ear/throat infections etc over the next few days.

HerculesMulligan · 02/03/2019 13:52

Snap, Jonty.

Veryflummoxed · 02/03/2019 13:53

Give a cuddle. Later on you can talk to him about how it.

sleepyhead · 02/03/2019 13:53

I think they can work themselves into a state that they can't snap out of (which can actually be quite frightening for them). If you feel he's calming down then it's a good time to go in, give him a cuddle and talk about the behaviour.

But after that, let it go. He's still little and the time out is the consequence so now it should be over and done with.

NuffSaidSam · 02/03/2019 13:54

Depends on the child.

Some need to be left to it when like this.

Some need a cuddle.

Can he manage his emotions/self soothe generally?

I would also think he is coming down with something if it's very out of character. Unless there has been an emotional upheaval recently. Or he's tired/very hungry.

Smoggle · 02/03/2019 13:54

If it was me I'd go and cuddle him and talk calmly about what happened.
I'd probably make him stay in his room for half an hour nap/quiet time too.

NotAnotherJaffaCake · 02/03/2019 13:54

Another family for whom such vile behaviour almost always precedes being poorly sick. Cuddles all round.

If it’s any help, I tend to forget about the association, read the riot act and then feel crap when a day or so later they are properly sick :-(

junebirthdaygirl · 02/03/2019 13:55

He might be coming down with something like an earache if he is not usually like that. Forget about it now and move on. He is only little. He suffered the natural consequences by being removed from play world.

Original poster
cjt110 · 02/03/2019 13:58

Hes got a viral infection at the mo (tonsils). I am just astounded at his behaviour. Hes no angel but my God.. hes never like this... and to BITE me... I was/am livid

And embarrassed at his behaviour.

Have just been in and explained his behaviour was not acceptable and that I am not having it. That I dont act that way with him so he shouldn't do that to me. That it's ok to be cross when he changed his mind about the orange but he does not act in such a way. Hes laid in bed sobbing and talking to himself.

OP posts:
Cuntforthebutter · 02/03/2019 13:59

Like PP said above tends to depend on the child. My DD is on ASD pathway so I'm becoming a bit of an expert on meltdowns Wink Mine needs a bit of help to calm down and a massive cuddle so the leaving her to it doesn't work for her.

I bet he's coming down with something bless him, especially if it's out of character.

Cuntforthebutter · 02/03/2019 14:00

X post

ILoveMaxiBondi · 02/03/2019 14:00

Could be any number or combination of things.

Tired
Hungry
Taking ill
Overwhelmed
Sensory overload
Struggling with changes in his routine (has he recently moved house/started school/had a new sibling/parent moved out?)

Also 4 was a really strange age for both my Dc. It was like a switch flipped in them and they became horrific for a while.

SinkGirl · 02/03/2019 14:01

Are you sure it’s viral? Aside from the bad behaviour, how is he doing?

Original poster
cjt110 · 02/03/2019 14:01

Hes still crying. But sounds more for effect now..

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 02/03/2019 14:02

Ahh well that explains it. He’s not well enough to be out at playgym OP.

Myusernameismud · 02/03/2019 14:02

And now you can go in and give a cuddle.

If he's poorly and you've just had a go at him, he'll be feeling really miserable. You've explained that the behaviour is not OK, now it's time for you to comfort him. Do not leave him there sobbing when he's feeling unwell.

BiscuitDrama · 02/03/2019 14:02

If he’s got viral tonsillitis was the play gym just too much for him?

Original poster
cjt110 · 02/03/2019 14:03

Hes a headstrong kid so I'm used to him being tough to manage at times but hes never physical

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 02/03/2019 14:05

He was poorly with a temp etc on weds. Off school thurs but then fighting fit and bouncing off the walls again yesterday. Would have no idea he'd been unwell at all.

OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 02/03/2019 14:06

He’s clearly very unwell then. He may well have been bordering on delerium. Go and give him a cuddle and let it go.

NerrSnerr · 02/03/2019 14:06

He's poorly. Go and give him a cuddle. He was naughty but it's probably because he was too poorly for the play gym. Having sore tonsils is miserable.

Original poster
cjt110 · 02/03/2019 14:06

And now I feel like a terrible mother for taking him out...

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread