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Original poster

Totally gobsmacked over 4 year old

88 replies

cjt110 · 02/03/2019 13:49

My son(4) has just had a massive meltdown at a play gym. We went with friends and he didnt want his orange and said his friend could have it. Then once only one segment was left decided he wanted it.

This resulted in kicking screaming punching. I ended up removing him from the playgym and coming home. He also bit me. This is all mostly out of character. I've sent him straight to bed.

Hes been in there 10 mins and is crying and talking to himself. What do I do? Do I leave him to it or bring him out or what

OP posts:

ILoveMaxiBondi · 02/03/2019 14:10

Don’t worry. It’s done. You live and learn. What I would do now is let him calm down, when he’s calm give him a cuddle and get an apology for violence and bad behaviour then run him a bath and get him into cosy jammies for a snuggle under a duvet on the sofa with a kids movie and mum cuddles. He just needs to rest until he’s well again.

JaneEyre07 · 02/03/2019 14:13

Oh poor little mite, tonsillitis is really rough and makes you feel utterly crap.

He probably wasn't anywhere near well enough to go out - I'd make sure he's well dosed up on Calpol and has lots of cuddles this afteroon.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 02/03/2019 14:16

Check his temperature, Calpol if necessary, then just sit in bed with him and read a few books to him in case he needs a sleep.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 02/03/2019 14:17

Btw don't feel bad for taking him out (unless he's infectious). If you stayed home he probably would have kicked off about something else!

Motherofcreek · 02/03/2019 14:20

Go back and get on the bed with him. He will know he has messed up and may just need that point of contact to ‘come down’ of his tantrum.

I would have taken him out too.

Original poster

cjt110 · 02/03/2019 14:22

Hes now fast asleep in bed... sigh.

Motherhood.. who'd do it

OP posts:

ILoveMaxiBondi · 02/03/2019 14:24

Ahh he just needs to sleep it off.

CharlesChickens · 02/03/2019 14:25

My dd is 11, but still prone to tantrums if she has tonsil issues. In fact I can tell if her tonsils are getting inflamed by the way she is behaving. I would go and cuddle him, if he is unwell it isn’t his fault.

SpeakUpXXWomen · 02/03/2019 14:34

leave a drink next to him and keep checking his temp, he sounds like he could be really unwell, keep a close eye.

DointItForTheKids · 02/03/2019 14:39

He's got a viral tonsilitis infection and you took him to a play gym...

cheesemongery · 02/03/2019 14:41

So he's got tonsillitis and you've just had another go at him so he feels worse?

Think it might be time for Mummy to go in and say she's sorry and have a cuddle.

He's poorly and upset, he doesn't have the skill at the moment to rationalise it when he kicks off. So now he thinks he's upset Mummy too...

SpeakUpXXWomen · 02/03/2019 14:42

DointItForTheKids

Lay off, we've all been there. Kid poorly, seems better, may as well go out cos it's the weekend and seems better. Holy shit got that one wrong and kid is actually really really unwell. Big oops, it happens, we learn from it and that is how parenting works.

The point is dc needs care and close supervision to make sure it's not something very serious brewing.

cheesemongery · 02/03/2019 14:43

didn't read page 2. Poor kids has worn himself out - easily done when battling an infection too.

SinkGirl · 02/03/2019 14:43

My twins have had a hideous bug, and they’ve been really up and down - fine one day, needing medical attention the next, fine for a few days and then vomiting out of nowhere... it’s so hard.

Alb1 · 02/03/2019 14:43

Going in and telling him off before he has calmed down seems mean, especially when you no he's ill and he doesn't act this badly often. It won't have helped future behaviour, he will have just felt more sad/frustrated. I hope you give him a big cuddle when he wakes up, not saying his behaviour is ok or that he doesn't need talking to but everyone is allowed a bad day every so often.

Sassysolly08 · 02/03/2019 14:43

You've done what needed doing. You gave him the time out alone then went in and cuddled him and explained the situation. As other posters have said could be a number of things, but when you know your son's behaviour is off key then is more than likely something you can't see and maybe a sign he's unwell in some way. As adults we struggle with viruses and colds etc; so as a baby he's probably not got the capacity to verbalise and let you know what is wrong. Cuddle, love, warmth, rest.

yumyumpoppycat · 02/03/2019 14:44

ahh hugs to you both when my (now 13 year old) had an ear infection when he was two I remember telling him off for bad behaviour - he promptly vomited - turned out he had an ear infection - I felt so bad. Happens to all mums - my mum did similar with me and it then emerged I had measles.

Give him a big cuddle when he wakes up, take his temperature, give him calpol if needed. I probably wouldn't mention it unless he does. Maybe say if he can play gently with 'kind hands and indoor voices' (or something along those lines - I always felt so fake when I tried to talk like that !) he can pick an activity for you to do together. I need to figure out how to talk with my 11 year old dd now - she is constantly accusing me of being angry when I'm not

NorthernRunner · 02/03/2019 14:45

Oh OP don’t give yourself a hard time.
My 4yr old was a right pain in the arse last week, she was in a right mood and in a strop kicked out at me. I was furious so sent her to her room. She was crying in there for a while, calmed down and then came to say sorry. The next day she had a high temp and vomiting. I felt like the worst mother ever.
It happens. Have a cup of tea and let him nap it off xx

Alb1 · 02/03/2019 14:47

sassy it doesn't say she cuddled him, just that she told him off. It is hard to no what to do sometimes when the misbehave though, can't say I'm perfect at it myself!

Bellatrix14 · 02/03/2019 15:09

@cheesemongery he had upset mummy, he bit her. I’m not saying it was necessarily the right thing to address his behaviour when the OP did as he had been poorly recently and hadn’t had a chance to calm down (although I don’t know her son, so can’t really comment), but I’m sure him biting her did upset her. Feel like some of the posters on here are kicking the OP when she’s down, it’s not like she screamed and shouted at him!

Yabbers · 02/03/2019 15:13

it’s not like she screamed and shouted at him!
No she just dragged him to soft play with a throat infection, got angry with him when he showed he wasn’t dealing with that very well, then isolated him in his room when they got back despite the fact that his behaviour is entirely out of character. He’s 4, not 14. Poorly children act out. And when they do they need a cuddle, not to be treated with no sympathy whatsoever.

3luckystars · 02/03/2019 15:15

He is sick.

Mrscog · 02/03/2019 15:18

He's 4! Tell him it's not acceptable then give him a cuddle! Poor thing.

Pinkbells · 02/03/2019 15:21

Ah he doesn't sound well. Apologise on his behalf and explain he wasn't well but just give him a cuddle and make him feel better.

BakerBear · 02/03/2019 15:26

Poorly children do not act out.

Well mine never have. I ve never been smacked, kicked or bitten by my children.

Too many people excuse bad behaviour and it’s one of the reasons why children today are so badly behaved.

Yes he was ill but kicking, punching and biting someone is no excuse.

I don’t think his punishment was enough, and as for apologising to him.. WTF???

My daughter who is 6 pinched 21 month old ds arm when she was annoyed and she thought I wasn’t looking, her punishment was...

Being shouted at
Went on the naughty step
Had to stay in her room with no toys for 4.5 hours
Had the trip out that she was going to that day cancelled.

There is a lot of wet parenting on this thread

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