Please give me your industrial strength remedies for constipation

[OverwateredCheeseplant]

I’m weaning off cocodamol after years and my constipation is just dreadful. I need to go several tunes a day and when I try it’s just tiny malteser size bits! Sorry tmi. Anyway, please give me your best advice as to how to have a good clear out!?

Don’t take lactulose unless you also have a gas mask...

Agreed. The wind is awful. Macrogol stool softeners are very effective though. Brand names are Movicol or Laxido. They gradually work through the gut, softening the blockage, which is why they sometimes take a few days to work. Sometimes it’s better to use a suppository to soften up the bottom end, while the Movicol softens from the mouth end downwards Good luck.

Out of date seafood .

Glycerine suppositories because that nasty poo is sitting there all dried up and you'll never pass it without hurting yourself

lactulose
bran cereal

I find it helps to switch things around a bit
Any of the above plus
Califig
Triphala
Loads of water.
High doses of vitamin c
Lepicol
Psyllium husks
Green juice
Aloe Vera juice
Senna
Aloe pure tablets
I have a cupboard full and just pick a couple of them

Coffee and a cigarette

Go to the library
Have an espresso beforehand and smoke a cigarette on the way there.

Stewed rhubarb. Works like a dream

The laxative dose of Milk of Magnesia last thing at night to start with. It causes water to enter the bowel by osmosis, so softens the hard poo and increases the volume. Both should mean that when you get up the next morning you should need to go.

Also you can now buy bisocodyl suppositories OTC (Dulcolax brand) and they work in around an hour - but for the reasons given I'd do the MoM first.

2 dulcolax and a litre of apple juice. Don't go out.

Hot water and lots of fresh lemon juice. It's like a dishwasher for your bowels!

I have a birth injury that means I have a nuclear attitude to constipation. The time for a high fibre diet is AFTER you have cleared your bowel. It's a preventative. And must be taken with enough fluid so it doesn't cause more problems.

A whole packet of sugar free polos.

I second (third?) a strong coffee shop coffee.

I can send you some of the chilli I made yesterday. Worked for me this morning

2 pints of lager

Ducolax

I was prescribed everything under the sun by my doctor and it had no effect. So I ate one large tin of prunes. The whole tin, juice and all. There was 27 prune stones at the end.

That sorted it. The next day was epic!

Softener, rather than laxative.

Glycerine suppositories are wonderful (fellow cocodamol taker)

Drink lots. I mean water but ropy wine clears me out pretty sharpish.

Trust me - glycerine suppositories will clear you out!!

Pears

Here in the states I'd recommend magnesium citrate which tastes horrible but it's excellent in getting bowels to move or an enema

Movicol, glycerin suppository, then have a coffee and a gag whilst you wait for it to take effect. You have to hang on a bit or you end up just shitting the suppository, so maybe 2 fags

Linseed powder. Sprinkle it on cereal, into yoghurt, etc. & also drink prune juice. You won't need anything else and it's far better than chemical stuff a GP would prescribe

Go to Superdrug. Buy their own-brand constipation relief tablets (they are small, circular and yellow). Take 2.

Takes about 12 hrs to work usually, but will completely flush system out.