PATRIARCHY CHICKEN

[BettyTips]

I read this sociological research where the researchers observed a busy high street and noted which sex was more likely to move out of the way to avoid colliding in the street. It was overwhelmingly the women who moved and the men who kept walking on straight.

I was a bit bemused and naively presumed that in a real life situation the men would actually move when it came to the crunch. So for the last two days i've been playing patriarchy chicken.

Basic premise is that you just dont move. Keep your head up and keep on walking. I've been shoulder barged twice. Once by a man who looked entirely shocked and bewildered to see a woman blocking his path.

If you're feeling a bit bored today, go and play and come back with your results tonight!

My 4 year old daughter pointed this out to me last year. She very much takes the view that she shouldn't have to move out of the way as grown up men are just as capable of budging

Starts early as well. A group of 8 year old boys insist on kicking a ball around near the school door at DD's school. All the girls stay out of their way. Making themselves smaller at 8.

I actually think the same thing happens on roads
Guy yesterday nearly pulled off into me on a dual carriageway - he hadn't indicated and left it until 2mt before the barrier to cross, not only that but he wanted to be in the left lane to me - so across 2 lanes! He had the cheek to beep me!

Later on two van drivers use a left hand lane to beat the queue in the right to turn right across the right hand lane

I feel less happy playing patriarchy chicken in the car

I did this just today actually. Man on his phone blocking the entrance to the parking garage. I paired it with a loud "MOVE" when he just stood there. He moved out of my way so fast you'd think he was scared..oh wait he was

See, that's just bloody rude, sorry. Nothing to do with "patriarchy chicken."
Barking MOVE at someone in your way?
You sound an absolute peach.

Paired with implies a physical barge past as well as a MOVE.
Wow. Ok. Don't care what sex you are, that's shitty whoever did it.
Even if it was a dainty little female trying to make some kind of point and stick one to the man.

I never knew this was a thing until reading this.

I stayed in a hotel last night and was walking down the stairs this morning holding the handrail. A man was coming up the stairs also holding the handrail and it was me that bloody moved away from it to let him pass.

I'm the one who was more likely to have a tumble if I missed my footing but it must be so ingrained into me to be the mover not the movee.

DH is forever bumping into people when we are out in busy shops etc. I've generally put it down to his dyspraxia and clumsiness and apologised for him. Now I'm wondering if its more that he just male

I have been doing the patriarchy chicken game for a few years now myself. Since I turned 50 I've become almost completely invisible!

I’ve been doing this since the new year as I’d read about it at Christmas. Things I’ve noted - if the man is wealthier, suited, and white, it’s worse. If he does anything manual or is not white, he’s much more likely to move. Intersectionality!

I had always just subconsciously assumed the men must be lots busier and more important than me, their time more precious, which is why I was always moving for them. Only realised this when my much more junior male colleague nearly bumped me off the pavement one time, and he was just about to say “what are you doing” and looked shocked that I hadn’t moved when he saw it was me. In fact my time was much more precious than his, I was leading the deals at work, but here I was being knocked (literally) by this suited idiot.

They’re entitled buggers and we’ve been conditioned to work round them! The suited white tall ones are by far the worst offenders though.

Also told my partner about this and he’s been doing the same challenge, counting who he moves for. He didn’t move for anyone! And yet has the best manners, he’s just entitled and hadn’t even noticed that several hundred people move for him each week and he literally just strolls through life! Ugh to be a man...

Haven’t really noticed, I must be a bit of a
Battleaxe.

Will d finitely pay attention now.

Be careful doing it near busy roads. Remember that poor woman who got shoved under a bus (literally) in London. Did they ever get the nasty male bastard who pushed her by the way?

The one in Putney?

I can’t believe they can’t get the bastard who did it.

Before I drove I found it worse if you had shopping. The more you looked like you were struggling the more they'd knock into the bags. I'd come back with bruises all up my shins. Thank goodness for home delivery and my car!

I played patriarchy chicken recently without being aware of it - waiting to get off a crowded train, I was standing in the aisle a couple of meters down the carriage, and when the train pulled into the station and people started getting off, I let someone from one of the seats nearer the exit get up and leave before me.

Felt someone pushing on my backpack, which was on my back, trying to push me forward. No room in the aisle for this person behind me to get past me. Thought - oh, ok then, I’ll let a couple more people in the seats in front of me get off, if you’re going to be so impatient. Pushing on backpack gets harder and it’s my turn to get off the train too. Turns out it was a 6’3” burly man who then shouted “FUCKING SANCTIMONIOUS PRICK!” at me as we, and hundreds of other people, walked along the platform to the gates. “I WAS FUCKING TRYING TO GET OFF!”. Lovely.

Whoah Wigeon! That’s awful :(

The amount of M/F that will quite happily let DD walk in the road is quite frightening, especially when they are in Tesco car park chatting away.

I make DD walk next to the wall if we can along a pavement & make her stop for older people & prams only.

For some reason as well, when, say I'm standing browsing in a shop, people still say "Excuse me!" to get past even though there is six feet wide of aisle for them to walk down.

Now, this is far better than being knocked into rudely, but it still annoys me. What do you want me to do, levitate? Actually climb up onto the display? I don't actually move if they already have enough space, but just look into the vast, gaping space that I have already left for them.

Wigeon, some people are such stressed-out twats when commuting.

Yesterday I saw two men having a go at train staff for having the temerity to check their tickets as we were leaving the station and hold them up for a few seconds. Ok, it's a bit annoying when there isn't a barrier there normally and when your train is already a bit late, but none of this is the fault of the station staff.

One of the ticket-checkers said "Are you the only person waiting, sir?" which I quite liked.

Things I’ve noted - if the man is wealthier, suited, and white, it’s worse

Yes, I've noticed this before for not giving up seats on the train. Once when pregnant I stood up and gave my seat to a more obviously pregnant woman, while all the suits hid behind their newspapers.

Young men are better as well. Teenagers and early 20s men are more polite. Men in their 50s and 60s are the absolute worst for rudeness.

When you have to do that shuffley little dance to sidestep somebody, and you both keep bobbing in the same direction for what seems like ages? Well I never do that, because it's pointless, so I stand still and wait for the other person to decide which way they want to go. This usually earns a furious look and a tut from men, (not women) and I couldn't work out why. I was carrying 2 paintings down the street once, one in each arm and a man veered and sped up, and smacked right into me so hard a bystander stopped to ask if I was OK, (he thought I'd been assaulted).

Also walking my puppy with a male friend, he doesn't look at all where the puppy's bouncing about, walks into him whilst stopping to pee, gets tangled in the lead etc. . I'm trying to concentrate on the puppy , and he wants to make inane conversation about himself, or stop and go into corporate wanker mode with every fucking person we pass, and will drone on until I have to point out several times that the puppy is overexcited and doesn't just want to stand still straining at the leash listening to him boring on instead of chasing balls!

I played this on Tuesday walking along Princes Street in Edinburgh (not the shop side, the other side) 2 men walked into me.

Neither said a thing but I had my response prepared "why should I give way?"

One man was sitting on a bench with his legs stretched far out into the pavement. He saw me coming. He saw the pavement was busy. He made no effort to tuck his legs in so I very exaggeratedly walked up to them. Stopped then deliberately stepped over the legs.

Bloody hell. Mind blown.

I can never keep up with DP when out shopping. I thought he dodged crowds better than me, he doesn't, they move out of his way!!

I regularly come across groups of people that just walk straight at me when I've got nowhere to move to, so I have to come to a dead stop. Invariably at least one of them walks into me.

The only way I can not lose him Xmas shopping is to walk so close to his back I'm actually touching him.

I'm doing the brace for impact thing next time.

Well I didn't get to play chicken last night so much as I was literally driven straight at.

Next time I'll hit the button and make the light go red instead.

SciFi Did he say anything?

I started doing this a while ago when it was pointed out in the FWR section. I had one man, around 20yo, walk at me when I was coming out of a temporary builder’s tunnel. There was an unspoken rule that everyone going in one direction kept to their side and those going in moved over for those coming out. However he walked right up to me, expecting me to move. I did not and we both stopped. The shock and anger on his face was incredible, he just expected me to move! When I didn’t he walked around me gawking like he’d never seen a woman in his life! Just never seen one who wouldn’t move for him, I’m guessing.

Neither will I make way for bicycles on the pavement, which is a real problem in the city I work in. I just walk at them until they stop. They’re shocked that I won’t move (and the ones who come straight at me are usually male).

Unfortunately for most people, I may be small (5’1” woman) but I have two horses and am used to making myself authoritive through body language. If I won’t move for half a tonne of horseflesh, I ain’t moving for you!