PATRIARCHY CHICKEN

[BettyTips]

I read this sociological research where the researchers observed a busy high street and noted which sex was more likely to move out of the way to avoid colliding in the street. It was overwhelmingly the women who moved and the men who kept walking on straight.

I was a bit bemused and naively presumed that in a real life situation the men would actually move when it came to the crunch. So for the last two days i've been playing patriarchy chicken.

Basic premise is that you just dont move. Keep your head up and keep on walking. I've been shoulder barged twice. Once by a man who looked entirely shocked and bewildered to see a woman blocking his path.

If you're feeling a bit bored today, go and play and come back with your results tonight!

I'm a woman and everyone always moves out of my way. Walk with confidence (I am a very confident person).

So how does this work with men walking towards each other? One of them has to defer, does this mean the one who 'stands firm' presumes he's the alpha? Or are they constantly banging shoulders?

I've been barged into by men who clearly expected me to get out of the way even when I moved over as much as I could.

One guy had his elbows out and ploughed into me and it really hurt. I said 'Hey, watch where you're going' and he didn't even look up. I hate violence but I've never been more tempted to get a can and do a Crocodile Dundee in my life

you dont have to walk in 2s every second drop back single file and theres room for both of us!

Oh this drives me crazy! I keep going - I’m not stepping into the gutter so some couple can keep holding hands. I once had a man shout abuse at me for this - but he was the arse for expecting me to step aside so he and his lady love could walk unimpeded. I suspect he was trying to impress the woman he was with.

There’s a New Statesman article just out on this - it was posted on a “secret” women’s support group in part of on FaceAche.

Is it a size thing? I'm 5'10" plus up to 3 inches of heels, size 16, wide shoulders/back. People move out of my way as I stomp ahead, but I also move for others (mostly the elderly). Never noticed a sexist slant to it.

I've had men either very deliberately or clumsily barge into me on busy streets, they seemed to make a beeline for me and nearly took my shoulder off, I was not actually in their line of walking. I'm pretty tall and not tiny.

I play a more passive aggressive version of this. If I think someone looks as if they are going to march straight into me - I just stop dead in my tracks and either look down at my phone or look in my bag. Then they have to go around me. It's a small victory in my head. I only do it with people I get a stroppy vibe from though. I'm normally very happy to dodge around most people

I have done this but have been next to a post or other street furniture and last minute walked behind the object so it is between me and the oncoming person. Also effective with cyclists who like to skim past you.

RadElla, I'm not sure. I'm your height (although almost always in flats, and am a size 8) and walk fast, and people don't automatically defer to me.

I'm a wheelchair user and shortly after I saw this thread I went out

In the pedestrianised precinct a youth of about 18 rode his bike straight at me looking at me like "move then" I had to swerve because he would have hit me and I would have been injured

Then in the supermarket a man invaded our personal space so badly whilst we were looking at a chilled cabinet that we were basically herded into the next aisle which we didn't even want to be in he was just standing so close we had to move forward because we were so physically uncomfortable

I'm going to start playing this from now on

I play this and agree that staring into the middle distance helps.

It's particularly noticeable when I'm running. Men don't give way and women do. I notice when there's a nice man. There's a running group that passes me every Saturday. All the women move but the men don't and sometimes they're three abreast. One morning (I was annoyed) I audibly said, "oh for fucks sake" as I passed and one of the men who was in the group but not in the way grinned. Now I see him every Saturday and he moves over every time and I say "thank you".

He's a fifth columnist in the patriarchy. Someone dragged him up right.

The trick is to not look at them. If they think you haven't noticed them, they'll move. I haven't tried this on cyclists on pavements though - like you, Valley, I'd be worried about being injured.

Dh and I were in Asda car park and he was off getting a ticket. I'd got out the car, left the door half open and was fiddling with the strap on my boot, crouched on the floor. A man was coming towards me, towards the ticket machine. I must have been in his way, although there were plenty of other routes, and he was incredulous that I didn't get up and move! Huffing about rudeness and 'in all my days' blah blah. Incredible sense of entitlement.

OP this is so weird. I knew nothing about this and yet noticed it just yesterday. There was a gang of boys cycling together, some on, some off the pavement. Two girls were on the pavement walking towards them. The pavement cyclists kept a straight path, the girls moved almost into the bushes to let them, still chatting happily, unaware of wehat they'd done. I felt like going up to the girls to say: "Take up space in the world! Next time, don't move." But a few minutes later I was walking down another pavement when the cyclists came back. I was deep in thought and suddenly realised I had automatically started moving out of their way. It was too late to keep to my path but I didn;t move any further out of the way, so two of them were whizzing straight at me and I felt quite scared not moving. All three of us veered slightly at the very last minute, to avoid collision.

Trainsong - what a beautifully observed post. I think it nails something important, namely how unconscious this gendered reaction is. I don't remember every being consciously taught it, so how did I absorb it, I wonder? I also think it must be connected to a whole host of other aspects of being in public - including in the domain of knowledge, where it's difficult for women to hold the floor and be attended to as 'experts'.

I noticed this phenomenon a few years ago... the way I don't is to stand still. People don't knock into you in general, but you're not moving aside for them!

downcast
I don't remember every being consciously taught it, so how did I absorb it, I wonder? I also think it must be connected to a whole host of other aspects of being in public - including in the domain of knowledge, where it's difficult for women to hold the floor and be attended to as 'experts'.

Yes, definitely. From tiny things like daring to use exactly half of a shared arm rest or table on public transport, (which has resulted in furious jabs from strange men who think it my duty to dissolve into mist so they can air their armpits)... to ,uch bigger issues. I remember when Fast Show did the 'Can Anyone Actually Hear Me' sketch, which grew from the problem actress Arabella Weir had with the male cast members ignoring her suggestions then loudly applauding the same suggestions when later voiced by a male cast member. I have had this exact experience on many occasions. I remember suggesting an unusual but lucrative fundraiser several times at a meeting and being told it would not work. A week later a male member of the team suggested the exact same idea and was met with accolades. It went ahead, as his idea, for which he got full credit.

I’ve noticed this too , and now I refuse to move over after being pushed once too often . It helps that I’m quite tall and walk taller , so I can be quite imposing . I’ve told this tale before , but I had one suited and booted individual try and barge into me as I was getting off a tube at Kings Cross one morning . Except he picked the wrong woman . I might be badger haired and middle aged , but I’m also public order trained and I could see him coming. So I turned myself sideways , put my weight on my back foot , and braced for impact, which he didn’t expect . He staggered backwards and landed on his arse on the platform , at which point the rest of the crowd he’d barged past to get on first , sniggered loudly at him . So I got off , and gave him a hand up and to be fair , he did admit it was his own fault . I’m hoping he learned from it .

I know a transgender man who told me once that its one of the biggest differences he's noticed since transitioning...that people give him space on pavements now when they never used to.

I have the same 'chicken' issue with committee meetings...I tend to turn up to committees I'm a member of having made a least a cursory attempt to read the documents. I;ve noticed a lot of other (male) people have a tendency to declare they are too busy to attend. I've started to respond to this with 'what I shame, lucky I don't have anything important to do so I could attend'. This shames some of them into a little self-realisation, but there's always the odd one that takes this as confirmation that others really are better suited to committee work than them....I think those are equivalent to the people that just walk into you even when you're looking at your phone...

I have noticed this with increasing frequency lately. I am disabled,and noticeably so,and am as slow as a snail. Yet still able bodied young people,men and women,expect me to jump out of their way. The look on their faces when I don't ........

I moved London, and picked him up from Victoria. I was waiting outside for 10 mins when he finally made it up up the stairs and gasped 'you're so rude'! I had to learn to bathe my way thru or or i would never get to work. Back here though, it's always men, and for no other reason than 'this is my space'

My brother disappeared from the story, he came to stay and was from the coy try

COUNTRY not a good day

I've done this for years. except if someone looks rough..

Problem comes when you have two people playing! You end up with a stand off. Poster upthread says she'd wait patiently for someone to move. I'd probably have an urgent need to tie my shoelace then

Once you've got it down then most people move.

I wonder if it is a size thing, do people unconsciously size up the obstacles in their path and assess whether they'll come off worse or not.

I'm quite wide size 18/20 and can hold my own on a pavement (live in tourist-Ville) but on the road I get much more aggro from vans etc in my little car than if I borrow DH's bigger car even though I drive like a snail in both

If you have two people playing, all you need ot do is move half a person width to your left, then both people can pass easily and equally. If you move half a width and they don't, you can barge them.

I love playing this, and have done so since early teens. My dad always taught me to walk fast, and straight. I do a mean weave thanks to a sporty history, and trying to beat the queues when the lunchbell went at school, but try to 'keep the line' in public. It's invariably men who are the culprits, and like other posters have regularly been subject to a rough elbow. It's ridiculous that subconsciously we seem to have this inferiority complex ingrained in us.