PATRIARCHY CHICKEN

[BettyTips]

I read this sociological research where the researchers observed a busy high street and noted which sex was more likely to move out of the way to avoid colliding in the street. It was overwhelmingly the women who moved and the men who kept walking on straight.

I was a bit bemused and naively presumed that in a real life situation the men would actually move when it came to the crunch. So for the last two days i've been playing patriarchy chicken.

Basic premise is that you just dont move. Keep your head up and keep on walking. I've been shoulder barged twice. Once by a man who looked entirely shocked and bewildered to see a woman blocking his path.

If you're feeling a bit bored today, go and play and come back with your results tonight!

I noticed that walking through town with DS when he was little he would get barged into/knocked by bags regularly, even though I’ve always walked confidently and rarely got barged myself when alone. Now he’s 6ft there’s a noticeable swerve round him by most people.

Unfortunately even when theres " victory" your side, garuntee you almost every time when it's a man and wife/girlfriend the man will eventually drop back behind the girlfriend so he can look you up and down/ stare at your boobs instead

Sadly it's never a complete win

Adding a pram to the mix tends to change this.

I would also say it's worse in London, all the times when I've been barged by a bloke for not getting out of the way quickly enough have been when I am visiting there.

My ex used to do that Gerry. And he's the kind of man who proclaims himself a feminist to anyone who will listen, yet doesn't seem to see any incompatibility between his stated values and this eye-fucking of random women.

One of the things I most respect about DH is that I have never, ever seen him do this. There's only one occasion when I've ever been aware that he found another woman attractive, and it felt weird because so out of character.

Is this just a London thing? Up here in Scotland it’s more often the “double give way folk dance” - where you both try to veer to allow the other person past, but you’ve both moved to the same side. So you both then try again the other way. And then the first way. By this point you’re usually both laughing with embarrassment and resorting to the “After you” “No, after you”.
One dear old man asked me if I’d like to dance, when we went through this routine in one of the aisles in Tesco!

I've been playing this for a year or so. I live in a busy tourist town, and got fed up with having to actually step on to the road so that men didn't have to alter their course.

plominoagain you are the Patriarchy Chicken OG

The worst place I noticed this was Sevenoaks. Rich white men in their 60s with coloured cord trousers really don't like younger women not moving for them. It was especially worse when I was pregnant and had a buggy. There was one tight alley which was single file and about 10 metres long. Logic would dictate if someone was already coming down it the opposite way you would just wait at the end till they were thru. If it was a woman she would normally do a little smile of acknowledgement that you waited. Men on the other hand used to see me about a third of the way down and just start walking. Then we would meet face to face and they'd stare at me blankly. I'd say something like I think you need to go back and they'd bluster and huff.

Another time I was in a tiny card shop and was 3/4 of the way down an aisle and a man turned into it, looked straight at me and started walking towards me. I would have had to walk backwards pulling the buggy the whole length of the aisle (about 6m). But he just stood staring at me like him going backwards a metre wasn't even a consideration. Totally crazy.

The other variation I find is when you both move a bit to the side, so both slightly angling yourself to your left. Then as you pass the man will aggressively say 'YOU'RE WELCOME'. Like you should be thanking them for moving their body to let you pass, even tho you have moved equally to let them pass and they haven't thanked you. Once I was so sick of this happening I said to a man in Lidl (he had a trolley and I had a buggy) why should I thank him when he hadn't thanked me?

It seems to be a mixture of sexism and the thought that children should always give way for adults and buggies go last. I've lost count of the times my 4 year old has been barged into the road by the local boys school teens walking 5 abreast. Now I hold onto him tightly and just keep walking straight into them. They swear and tut but bollocks to them.

Koala, what happened in the card shop stand-off? I hope coloured-cords man backed down, not you!

I totally opened this thread expecting it to be about people feeding the best bits of a roast chicken to men at family dinners.

I'm even more pleasantly delighted now! Definitely going to try this when I head back to UK for a visit in April!

Doesn't really work here, everyone is so effing laid back that you have to power walk around them and honestly its too hot to go anywhere fast. Plus nobody really walks.

I absolutely never back down Nikita. Especially for a man in pink cords and a tweed hat! I imagine he was a retired Captain or military officer of some sort. Being told you are rude by a posh entitled man is pretty funny.

I couldn't wait to leave Sevenoaks. No idea why everyone thinks it's so nice. It's inhabited by entitled twats.

I play patriarchy chicken every day. I work on a shipyard, so it's 90% men. I will not be forced into the path of vans, forklifts and cranes so some twatty welder can feel powerful for 2 seconds. There's plenty of path width. It generally works, as I'm not that short and often bulked up in a big coat; I stare them down if necessary. It's only not worked once, and that dickhead did barge me. His mates had a word.

I have two teenaged sons who wont often be seen in public with me. But on the rare occasions it happens, I frequently have to nudge then out of the path of some disabled pedestrian/ pregnant woman.

I used to grab them by the scruff of the neck but that no longer works as they are taller than me.

It’s not for want of teaching them manners, but I’m fighting against the current .

In New York this is referred to as Manslamming.

If I think someone looks as if they are going to march straight into me - I just stop dead in my tracks and either look down at my phone
Won't work with me. If you're looking at your phone, you're not aware of your surroundings.
I play Technology Chicken - if someone looking at their phone is heading straight towards me, i don't deviate. They normally pull up quickly when my feet appear in the background of their phone view

it's all about attitude, I used to be very slim, but tall, and my brother was in absolute awe of my skill in walking through busy streets, he was much taller and sturdier but would skim along in my wake when he would visit me in London

you have to walk with a purpose, with speed and with confidence, have a planned route and stick to it.

I am now MUCH burlier but still have it, we often are walking along tow paths with the dog and witness lycra lout MAMILs barrelling along at topspeed. Dh will sit the dog at the side, but I only move to give them enough space to pass slowly...and I make sure they have to pass me on the "wet side" ...it won't be me in the cut matey, so slow it down, and you are not Bradley Wiggins.
And I give them a thanks for slowing, so they cannot get mad!

I nearly trapped on on a swing bridge once, I had closed off the other side and was about to heave ho the bridge open and he actually came out of nowhere and would have crashed into the barrier, he wouldn't have it that he had to get off the bridge and there was a boat coming out, he chose to clamber over the barrier and hoist his bike over, instead of just getting off the bloody bridge!! ... the passers by were delighted by my stand and horrified at his speed!

This is so true! I was out on my mobility scooter earlier today and a bloke was walking towards me from the opposite direction. I stopped about six inches away from a hedge on the left because the pavement wasn't very wide, although there was just room to get past me on my right and the plonker decided to try to get past in the six inch space until he realized it was an impossibility. I laughed, he went red and scuttled past on the other side

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys "I play Technology Chicken - if someone looking at their phone is heading straight towards me, i don't deviate. They normally pull up quickly when my feet appear in the background of their phone view"

I do this too! But it pisses me off so spectacularly that I also often throw in a very loud HELLO when they're about a foot away... nobody's dropped their phone with the shock of a loud noise yet, but I live in hope...

Jeez, I can't be arsed with game playing, surely it's just manners to shift if someone's coming straight towards you?!
Not man v woman "who shifts first?" crap.
Equality gone bonkers

I haven't tried patriarchy chicken, but I do routinely play walk-on-the-left-hand-side chicken.

I will not move out of the way for people who walk on the right.

There's no point trying this in, say, London - where people do drive on the left, because a). many Londoners don't drive, so wouldn't just default to that 'rule', and b). London is full of tourists from countries that drive on the right.

However, where I'm from we drive on the left, and pretty much all adults drive.

If you wish to walk on the right, you can go around me.

#petty

I play this all the time. Not been barged yet, sure it will happen though. Something similar i noticed when walking with my ex, when we were walking next to each other, if there was a puddle on 'my side' he would never move over so that i could avoid it. I would either have to drop behind, jump over it, or wade through. Infuriating!

surely it's just manners to shift if someone's coming straight towards you?!

Absolutely. Except men aren't. Evidenced by (limited) studies and (extensive) anecdata. So why should women?

Ooh I'm going to try this! I'm going to watch my DH next time we're out too (not tell him obviously), with his personality I'd be surprised if he didn't move, but will he intriguing to see, especially to see if women move first. Ooh what do we think happens with men on men?!

My favourite version of this is the "forgot where I'm going what I'm doing who am I". If someone is coming towards me and is showing no sign of sharing the path, I just stop as if I've forgotten how to human. They always WITHOUT FAIL will walk around you. Groups will flow around you. You have become furniture.

Disclaimer: do not try this in a very very busy place with people walking up your arse because they will not be amused when they walk into you.

Shouldn’t you just play this 50% of the time, otherwise you are being just as bad as the patriarchy

...or...

...the few people doing it 100% of the time is still only a drop in the ocean.

Babdoc: In Douglas Adams' The Meaning of Lift, this is called Corrievorrie.