What should my 8yo be able to do?

[TipseyTorvey]

We're just coming out of the fog of our younger DCs toddler years and I've suddenly realised I've been totally mollycoddling DS8 because I've been so focused on just getting things done. E.g. If the younger one needs a drink I automatically ask the 8 yo what he'd like and serve him like the 3yo. Realised this weekend that he'd never run a bath because I always do it! So, lovely mumsnetters with older kids can you help me please, I'd like to compile a list of things he needs to learn this year. So far I've got 'scramble and egg and make toast', make own bed, put away laundry, get self up at the weekend without talking to me 😂. All advice welcome!

• tie laces (functionally)
• shower and hair wash unassisted
• make own drinks and put glass in dishwasher after
• get own stuff ready for all sports/activities
• order food/drinks at a counter service type place
• manage own homework
• hang up towels properly ( I can dream)

My DC is just 8. I mollycoddle him too 😳 so I'm also interested in this. He can currently:

Make breakfast - toast or cereal including making me breakfast in bed which he enjoys doing - result!
Make a sandwich for lunch
Get dressed, showered and brush teeth (but I like to check them)
Hoover
Make his bed but not change the bedding
Puts his clothes away when I ask him too
Put the food shopping away after we've been for a shop.
He could probably tell you how to cook a lot of things as he likes helping his dad but wouldn't be able to do them himself I expect.

I'm sure there are other things but that's off the top of my head.

I think getting them to order and pay for things themselves is really good - they can begin to feel happy with speaking to adults they don't know.

I would say an 8 year old should be able to call for a friend and play outside as they are certainly capable of it - but sadly the world we live in doesn't really se that happen much anymore.

Go into a shop pick something up (e.g. sweets) and pay for it.

Clear the table, load dishwasher.
Make cereal/sandwich. Get a drink.
Run a bath (have safety thing on taps so I know they’ll never scald themselves!). Run shower, wash and do hair.
Go to the park, knock for friends etc to play so she knows how far round our wee estate she can go.
Make her bed
Help me with cleaning - wiping, mopping etc.

She has just turned 8, her brother just turned 7 and he’s more or less the same.

Personally unless you have a safety tap I'd prefer to run the bath myself for him because it's easy to misjudge how hot the water is. Last time I had a bath I tested it with a hand it seemed fine, then I stepped into it and came out quicker than I went in.

I'm astonished by these answers. My DS can do most of the things - probably all, but have never asked him to do some - he's 13 but at 8 I would not have thought 90% of the stuff quoted was necessary.

Regarding going to the shops. I was kid in the 60s, we walked to School on our own from 6 but did not go to shops to help mum until 10

Play out alone (with mates/ siblings)
Run bath and get bathed/ showered independently
Make drinks
Make snacks
Cook/ bake semi independently
Put washing away
Keep bedroom tidy
Do homework
Prepare for after school activities I.e. pack swim bag etc.
Pitch in with house/ garden jobs sometimes

I would not let an 8 year old run a bath due to scalding risk but mine showered and washed own hair at that age.

mastertom he doesn't do all that every day. Cooking and preparing snacks is on occasion

I get my dc to sit in the bath and fill it. They can adjust the taps to suit. Much easier to judge it this way.

My 8 year old makes her bed. She can make toast and get herself a cold drink.

She had never used the hob or kettle. I think she's too young at the moment for that.

She baths herself with door open and me pottering around...she doesn't run her own bath or shower though.

She is currently struggling with shoe laces.

mastertom I'm curious what you are astonished about on the lists here?

My 9yo DS is away with the fairies most of the time and would be perfectly happy for me to do everything for him. However, he can do the following (with varying levels of thoroughness):

Help himself to breakfast (cereal, yoghurt, fruit, etc.) if he gets up first at the weekends - he's not allowed to use the toaster unless we're close by.

Make his bed (badly).

Make a sandwich (messily).

Wash himself and his hair and brush his teeth (bit slapdash unless I'm watching / nagging).

Order and pay for things in shops / cafes.

I'd like to start allowing him more freedom to walk places by himself as next year is his last at primary school (he's very young in his year). I'd also love him to be able to make me a cup of tea, but he's not confident pouring the kettle...

I would still run a bath for my 10yo, but he usually showers. He'd use all the hot water getting it wrong otherwise - our boiler is a bit fiddly. He also can't scramble an egg but neither can I without burning it to the pan He can make pasta (with jar sauce, ham or cooked sausage, and tinned sweetcorn) and supernoodles, and use our toastie maker.

Shower/bath by himself
Make simple snacks (e.g. toast, cereal, sandwich)
Make cup of tea (if happy to let him use kettle)
Sort school bag (with list to help)
Purchase item in shop, possibly run errand to corner shop, if close enough

My DS is 9 now but has been doing the following for about a year or longer

Make himself a cold drink
Simple meals eg. Toast and cereal or a sandwich
Bring washing to washing machine/ put clean things away when instructed
Make his bed
Organise PE kit
Call on friends nearby to play
Order food in a cafe including going up to the counter by himself and paying
Go to shop for sweets or small list eg. Bread, milk, newspaper
Since he turned 9 he has been getting on the bus to school independantly includong asking for his fare.

I'm proud of how capable and polite he is especially in public, I was totally awkward when I was younger in this respect so I hope he wont grow up with the same anxieties I have.

I think it varies massivley and you shouldn't feel bad he's still young!

My dd is 10 and autistic (HFA)

She can manage:

Run own bath
Wash herself
Brush teeth
Make a sandwich
Make a drunk
Put clothes away
Help walk dogs
Polish
Hang washing out.

This is what she can do, doesn't mean she always does!

I'm surprised this is surprising!

Dd8 does the following
Runs own bath gets washed and washed hair when told
Put washing in laundry basket
Sorts dancing things out
Sorts school bag out
Brushes and dries her hair
Orders her own food in cafe/restaurant
Pay for her items in shops when i give her the money
Helps pack the shopping at supermarket and unpack when we get home
Polishes ths lounge
Wipes down leather sofa
Prepares own breakfast in the week
Gets her own drinks
Takes the wet washing out of the washer

Our DD is 8, I get her to help me with:
find things in the supermarket
pay at the till
put things away when at home
put her dirty clothes in the washbasket
get herself a drink
wash up
shower alone (I was her hair as otherwise she'll be in there for hours)
get dressed
brush hair
buckle/unbuckle herself in car
tie laces
put coat on coat hook
be polite and say please and thank you to teacher
greet teacher every morning
eat all of her dinner (yeah right)

I have a 9 year old and he can do his own cereal but Iv never let him use the toaster or any other appliance..
He doesn't run his own bath and if he's having a shower I get it set up, get his bits and his towel out and let him get on with it.
He makes his own bed, makes his own drinks (when he can be bothered)
Sometimes I wonder if I do too much for mine also.

My 9 year old does..
Make his own drinks/sandwiches/toast etc
Puts his dirty clothes in the wash basket
Clears his plates etc away
Makes cups of teas
Runs his own baths
Feeds the dog
Changes empty toilet rolls
Changes old batteries

Oh and hangs his towel up to dry after his bath

Some of these are ridiculous

Mine didn’t hoover and make food at 8
Didn’t clean their teeth without me checking
Didn’t half the stuff mentioned

Get a drink yes
Stick bread in the toaster yes
Pour some cereal fine

But some PP make it sound like their 8 year olds are off to university ffs

I wouldn't worry too much OP. Most of the things listed here will probably just need to be shown to your son once or twice and he'll be able to do them. My kids could probably do all these things by about this age but I usually still make their breakfast for them, sometimes change their bed if they are doing something else etc. As long as they know how to do them, which won't take much, there's no harm in still letting them be children and doing things for them if you want to.