How old is Too Old for you? Babies...

[Dextrodependant]

Talking to my BF yesterday about whether we would ever have a baby together and I said that I wouldn't be having any more.
I have 3, can't afford any more, happy with what I have got, my career is progressing and I don't want to take time out, I like travelling now mine are that bit older. Would need a bigger house and car.

Then I said I feel I am too old for a baby now. Which he said is ridiculous and I might change my mind in a few years time. Especially as my eldest 2 go off to uni or work.

For what it is worth I am almost 33 and my children are 14, 11 & 7.

So how old is too old for you personally? I know people will have a huge range of opinions on this and I don't want to cause offense to anyone at all its such a personal decision. Just interested in what people think.

It's not about my age for me... but more the age gaps between my DC. I have two (8&10). I'm 37. I don't think I'm too old to have another but I think the age gap between my two DC and a potential third would be too big.

I really hope that 33 isn’t considered too old for children because I’m older than that and having my own little spiral of doom about being left childless from leaving it too late

I don't think that it is too old for everyone, just that for me my life has moved on from babies and I wouldn't want to go back and start again.

I don't think you're too old (you're 5 years younger than me and many women I know when we had our first!) but I can't imagine you'd want to go back to the grind that is babies and toddlers.

However - you need to be prepared for your DP to leave if he wants to have children, and if he's a similar age, childless and having this conversation there's a good chance he does.

I have always considered being 25+ years older than my children as 'too old'. I know in current society that's very young. I'm currently 24 and pregnant with DC1. I know I won't have completed my family before I am 25, obviously, but I also feel that I will be 'older' than I wanted.
I love that my mum and dad are 20 and 24 years older than me, respectively. We have a very close relationship and do everything together with my sister and her DP. However, my DH (who is 28) parents are 31 and 35 years older than him. They're not dissimilar from my grandparents in terms of their interests and we generally do not engage with them in our social lives (excluding Christmas and other family events). I would not want this age gap with my children as I would rather have children young and then build a career instead of build a career and then be 'too old' to properly have social time with my own children.

I am very fortunate that I have not suffered with fertility issues and I do not write this as any sort of dig at people who chose/have no choice but to have children older.

I still think 33 is very young. But then I had my first at 38 and have just had my second at 40. I don’t think I have it in me to have anymore - not necessarily due to my age but I think 3 so close in age would break me.

Just had my first, I'm 32. I don't think age comes into it, unless you pass that time. It's more important whether or not you want one!

My own personal cut off was 35, but I had my youngest at 33.

Loads of women have babies well into their 40s. It all depends what's right for you.

@ShirleyPhallus. It’s not. Just this posters personal view so I’m not quite sure what she seeks to achieve by posting 🤷‍♀️.

You’ve time left although it does get harder the longer you leave it :).

I currently however know 5 people (including myself) who are pregnant and 40 plus

I also don't think you're too old op...33 is young, but your DC are older and I know I wouldn't want to go back to the baby stage. In ten years time, yours will all be adults and you'll still be young enough to enjoy your freedom!

Senora that's down to personality, not age. I'm much closer to my mum than DH is to his, and they're quite a bit younger than mine.

I know what you mean OP I am 29 next month and have a 10 year old and a 5 year old I've been swaying back and forth about having another but there are 2 many reasons not to. I doubt I will have anymore if I don't make the decision by the time I'm 30. I think I'm don't with the baby stage.

33 is definitely not too old.

Although I’m 32 with four kids and feel about 100 most days, with work and the kids

33 isn't too old. For context i had my first at 36 and 2nd at 38. However i can completely see how in your situation it feels too old, or rather more like that ship has sailed. As previous posts have suggested, if your boyfriend is sounding out whether you want to have a family with him, then you might have you be prepared to finish the relationship. You say you can't afford it, but is that just you on your own or the two of you together? Don't forget your eldest children would be perfect babysitting age! ;-)

33 is very young. My cut off would be mid 40s.

@RiverTam I'm generally basing it on my experience at that of those around me. I couldn't bare the thought of being being elderly when my children are adults. It's more of a priority for me to be closer in age and enjoy any potential grand children/ great grandchildren within my lifetime.

I'm 32 and won't have anymore. ( sterilised thru choice after my 2.) I feel I could not imagine anything worse than starting again and the thought of being in my 50s and still having kids to deal with is awful. For me. Not everyone, I have friends that want to start at 35. But when they were in their 20s having a blast I was already being a wife and mum.

I was absolutely certain I was done and too old. And now I'm 8 pregnant weeks with number 3.😮

There will be a 7 yr age gap between the new baby and my youngest. I just hope I remember what to do.😂

well, sure, but that's a different thing.

I would like to be finished having children before 35. But that's easy for me to say when I met my husband at 20 and am currently pregnant with my first at nearly 29.

The main reason for wanting to be done by 35 is that I would like my kids to be close in age and then myself and DH would be able to live our lives how to want by the time we are in our 50's.

So I totally get not wanting to go back to the baby stage when you have older children!

I had my oldest at 36 and youngest at 40. I wouldn’t have anymore because I’d worry about the risk of another c section. I also wouldn’t have anymore children if my older ones were or were close to being teenagers. It would be too much of an age gap and I would feel I had already been through the baby/toddler stage and enjoying travelling, working and doing things for myself.

also, MIL probably thought the same as you, Senora, 4 kids herself, young mum, very child-centric. Has 8 grandchildren. Due to where her DC have ended up around the world (and the age they had DC), she barely sees any of them - DD she sees the most and that's every 2-3 months.

I’m 33. I have a 13 year old and a 3 year old. I’m definitely not having anymore and am looking forward to the next stage of life once DD2 starts school.

I want to focus on my career and enjoy some freedom.

I had DD1 at 19 so I feel like I have been parenting for a long time already!

33 isn’t old to have a baby, but it’s all about your circumstances and how you feel.

No more after 35 for me but I have three already 7, 6 and 3.

I had DS last year at 28 (just, I was 29 a fortnight later) I’ll be 30 at the weekend and 10 years ago I would have said I wanted to have all my kids by the time I’m 30. Now I have one I’ll be quite happy to have my second at 32/33. Definitely stopping at 2. Perhaps if I wanted 4 or 5 I would have felt the need to start earlier