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Original poster

My husband is a nob and if he’s not careful i wont marry him again.

105 replies

WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 19:41

Wedding vow renewals.

I feel they are a bit - someone’s had a fling and this is a bit of a brave front - sort f thing.

However. when we got hitched it was on a very short shoe string, 2 babies, a dog and a new mortgage. And we’re coming up to 20 sodding years and i really think i’d Like to do it properly. In a church. I want a big meringue ffs. And a marquee.

So ive decided i want to do it all again. And he bloody wont. Dickhead nob. He ‘can’t see the point’. Bloody fun sponge.

So you know what i’m Going to do. I’m going to bloody do it anyway. And if he doesn’t show up to the church he isn’t invited to my party. And its going to be bloody epic.

OP posts:
iMatter · 09/02/2019 21:05

I've never understood the renewing vows thing.

IMO it's all a bit naff.

What are you trying to prove?

I love the man I married 5 years ago? I don't hate the man I married 10 years ago? I feel a desperate need to show everyone else how much we love each other? He had an affair and I'm publicly forgiving him (not really)

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 21:05

I thought nob = nobility and therefore penis. I may be a but wrong.

It is totally about my desire for a party and all about me. And nothing todo with actually renewing vows. But ive passed milestone birthdays and as always i had to take other people into consideration so bollox to that.

OP posts:
Mintychoc1 · 09/02/2019 21:07

How can you renew your vows if your husband isn’t there?

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings
Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 21:08

I shall vow to be nice to myself and to stay married if he continues to be himself.

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 09/02/2019 21:09

Can the funsponges get with the programme and be supportive and more lighthearted ?

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 21:10

Bless them it must be like being married to me for them.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 09/02/2019 21:21

Would he be up for a big anniversary party? I can see how he might feel 'vow renewals' are a bit wanky, but if you want to dress up and party, that could be just as satisfying.

dashitauntagatha · 09/02/2019 21:26

I'm thinking some sort of throne...

And a photographer who is instructed to ONLY take photos of you.

God I'd love it if one of my friends did this

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 21:28

I’m really going to have a throne. Just one. For me.

If he comes he can have an ordinary chair, just to the right and slightly behind me.

OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 09/02/2019 21:28

OH is a rather good artist, except his self portrait which came out very severe.
I have it in my workroom, so if he’s not actually there to put the brakes on, I can look up and be reminded when I am metaphorically riding over the rainbow on my unicycle. Sometimes the function of a fun sponge is to remind you just how much you really want something. The more glowering and sensible comments, the more outrageous and frenetic the ideas in response.

ArmchairTraveller · 09/02/2019 21:30

My grandmother had a pink and silver throne on her 90th birthday celebrations. She accepted tributes of various sorts and saw nothing odd or amusing about it.

BartonHollow · 09/02/2019 21:30

If you've got a throne, you could employ four semi-naked men to fan you with large leaves and feed you things.

anniehm · 09/02/2019 21:41

My girls want us to renew our vows, but alas for selfish reasons - they like watching American wedding dress programmes and they also fancy an exotic location and new dresses!

I must say all the people I know who have done it have been following affairs or recovering alcoholics! As I'm neither I'm not keen.

Do whatever you want but it needs to be a joint decision

RJnomore1 · 09/02/2019 21:47

Is "riding the rainbow on a unicycle" meant to mean what I think it means?

HerRoyalNotness · 09/02/2019 21:50

DHs ex didn’t have the big so for her 2nd wedding so for their 10th they had a big fancy party and she finally got an engagement ring.

I’d go for something like that. You could ask guests to dress in wedding dresses and suits, haha,
Imagine it. Or have a fancy evening dress party.

ArmchairTraveller · 09/02/2019 22:00

😂 No RJ, really not. It’s a family phrase for when one of us is having daft ideas that are completely impractical.

labazsisgoingmad · 10/02/2019 14:08

ooh id love to be a bridesmaid and i love a good party now im old dont get asked to many oh yes can we have egg sandwiches please dont mind making them for you

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 10/02/2019 15:39

Can I come?

I'll supply you with plenty of proseccco so you don't have to move from your throne!

I adore canapes, and will happily snaffle them all hand them round

Do you want a dress code for guests?

EyUpOurKid · 10/02/2019 20:09

If you've got a throne, you could employ four semi-naked men to fan you with large leaves and feed you things

If I volunteer my dh to be one of these fanning men (will also get him to feed you grapes, but fermented ones, with bubbles... Champagne, I will get him to funnel champagne down your neck). . Then can I come please?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 11/02/2019 18:29

20 years is definitely worth celebrating OP. Congrats.

I can do the calligraphy for your invitations and place settings if you like.

icelollycraving · 11/02/2019 19:04

As long as you do it like Dawn & Pete. Lights will guiiiiiiiide you.

ALemonyPea · 11/02/2019 19:21

You need to have a theme at least, what was popular 20 years ago?

NameyMcNameChange1 · 11/02/2019 20:58

I’m now wondering if hearts is actually Megan Markle. I don’t know if anyone else that can do calligraphy in real life so I’m fairly certain. It would be a coup to get her at the wedding.

icelollycraving · 11/02/2019 21:36

Don’t know if Meghan would be able to move her hand from her bump that long really.

TinselAngel · 11/02/2019 23:31

You need to have a theme at least, what was popular 20 years ago?

Britpop.

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