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Original poster

My husband is a nob and if he’s not careful i wont marry him again.

105 replies

WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 19:41

Wedding vow renewals.

I feel they are a bit - someone’s had a fling and this is a bit of a brave front - sort f thing.

However. when we got hitched it was on a very short shoe string, 2 babies, a dog and a new mortgage. And we’re coming up to 20 sodding years and i really think i’d Like to do it properly. In a church. I want a big meringue ffs. And a marquee.

So ive decided i want to do it all again. And he bloody wont. Dickhead nob. He ‘can’t see the point’. Bloody fun sponge.

So you know what i’m Going to do. I’m going to bloody do it anyway. And if he doesn’t show up to the church he isn’t invited to my party. And its going to be bloody epic.

OP posts:
Stardustinmyeyes · 09/02/2019 20:37

Ah if you're a bit Welsh, then you can have a vowel renewal AEIOU Y, they always forget the Y.
Go for it have your piss up party and if the nob doesn't want to go then enjoy it without him

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 20:38

Fairly drunk.

Yes. I missed out on attention. Why cant it be all about me for a bloody change?

Yes. A big party. I want a big party all about me, with a big frock and cake and a lot of alcohol. And a band,

OP posts:
Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 20:40

And if he’s going to be a fun sponge then he cant come and then i wont need to share the limelight with anyone. So there,

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
FlaviaAlbia · 09/02/2019 20:45

I quite like the cardboard cut out idea. For extra realism you could record your DH speaking and then rig up a motion activated speaker on the cut out Grin

Or you could just get one anyway and put in in the corner of your bathroom to freak him out. That'll teach him...

BursarsDriedFrogPills · 09/02/2019 20:45

Loving this. Bloody do it OP.

BartonHollow · 09/02/2019 20:46

Can we help you in designing and planning your groom free wedding OP?

Starting with a gorgeous gown and fuck off cake?

BursarsDriedFrogPills · 09/02/2019 20:47

I meant the big Fuck off party. Not the cardboard cut out DH. But both good.

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 20:48

I’m going to do it. How i bloody want to. And if he shows up then that’s ok (pretty much like the original wedding).
I’m going to have a big bloody party. HUGE. All about ME>

OP posts:
BartonHollow · 09/02/2019 20:50

You aren't alone OP

www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/what-is-sologamy

NameyMcNameChange1 · 09/02/2019 20:50

Can I come? I’ll bring my own booze and tell you how pretty you look.

EastMidsGPs · 09/02/2019 20:50

We got married by special licence, 9 weeks after our first date. We didn't even have guests, just our witnesses. No expensive dress, DH wore his interview suit. No grand buffet, just lunch in a local restaurant.
It didn't matter at the time, although my parents were furious. Now after 30 odd years I wouldn't mind a Say Yes To The Dress session at Kleinfelds or a fitting with Lori 😉 but with the old man's aches and pains these days we'd have to pootle off to somewhere warm.

Yabbers · 09/02/2019 20:50

Yes. A big party. I want a big party all about me, with a big frock and cake and a lot of alcohol. And a band

I’m in.

Can we have fireworks too?

Isitweekendyet · 09/02/2019 20:52

You're my kind of person OP.

goHoppity · 09/02/2019 20:52

Grinlove the title of the thread so funny

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 20:52

I’m so going to need kleinfelds.

Also i only have about 10 friends i actually like so i’ll Be needing good guests too. I’ll advertise closer to the time.

OP posts:
ferrymeoff · 09/02/2019 20:55

I am in the same situation but am still going to have a party in August whether he comes to it or not I did worry that I wouldn't have enough guest but I am past caring.

BartonHollow · 09/02/2019 20:55

Why not this cake OP?

My husband is a nob and if he’s not careful i wont marry him again.
EastMidsGPs · 09/02/2019 20:55

If you need a very matronly bridesmaid count me in ... but please no peach dress

TheSassyAssassin · 09/02/2019 20:56

I'm in! I make a mean choc fudge cake is you fancy some for the wedding cake? Grin

TheSassyAssassin · 09/02/2019 20:57

*if not is Confused

Original poster
WhyTheLongFace · 09/02/2019 20:57

Everyone who understands my angst is in.

Funsponges need not apply

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 09/02/2019 20:57

Is it wrong I'm now debating a cardboard cut out of dh 😂

We have been married 20 years soon too and I get the desire for a party. Our wedding was my Mother's Day not mine.

I'm thinking Venice in winter, a red velvet dress and floor length cloak, and arriving at a palazzo in a gondola.

Dh meanwhile is just enjoying himself in his joggers watching a film on tv poor bugger...

BifsWif · 09/02/2019 20:59

I thought it was -

Nob = penis
Knob = door furniture.

I’m right, aren’t I?

BartonHollow · 09/02/2019 20:59

I'm bagsying the part of the bridesmaid who gets laid by an usher during the reception and comes back in with no hair out of place and a nonchalant expression and sips champagne

PencilSkirt · 09/02/2019 20:59

Hmm, it rather come across as though your desire to renew your vows is more about having a large party with you as the centre of attention, rather than about your marriage. There's nothing wrong with that, but maybe your husband feels that the vows you made on your wedding day, irrespective of how 'big' te day was are what really matters and the fact that you've stuck together speaks to that. As has been previously said, why not wait until a 'significant' birthday and have a knees-up then?