Oh my GOD! I’m so embarrassed and will never forget this!!

[Brownbootscoldheart]

Just bumped into DH’s uncle and aunt in our local supermarket. We don’t see them very often, they are very nice, the uncle is a little odd and very stuffy though.
I made a fuss of aunt, how lovely to see you etc etc and turned to uncle and said ‘ah look at you with a glittery jumper on’ WHY WHY WHY did my mouth say this????

It wasn’t a glittery jumper - he has the most awful dandruff and his blue jumper was literally covered on the shoulders.

Aunt just brushed it over, uncle looked bemused and I could have just died on the spot.

And yes, we kept bumping into them aisle after aisle after that.

I may just have to emigrate or something 🙈🙈

Oops! Made me giggle, sorry That's your and DH's next Christmas present to him sorted though...a nice new cream jumper...

oh god op i feel your embarrassment. i will share my most cringworthy tale to try and make you feel better..
years and years ago when i was dating my now DH. my inlaws were showing ne old family photos there was one if FIL as a young man with powder blue suit on think john travolta in saturday night fever type suit. he had long curly hair in the pic. i said oh look at you FIl with your long curly hair and your staurday night fever suit. His reply thats my mother. i could have died as i insisted it was him as it was obviously a man. It actually was is mother i was mortified.

that is genuinely hilarious!

You will have to now flee the country sorry. Is he the sort to wear glittery jumpers? Hahaha you have made me giggle though!

I do horrible stuff like this all the time! I get all hot and a sinking feeling, DP rips me all the time for it because of how I get all weird about it afterwards! I need to shut my bloody mouth!

Can’t even repeat some of them, but once I said “ahaha SNAP” to someone that was wearing the same top as I have...that I wasn’t wearing at the time...

Hahaha I am always mak8ng an arse of myself, it’s good to know I am not alone. I was talking with a colleague about hair and dying it etc, we were talking about people who let their hair go grey and what we would do to sort it out ....I said I don’t like salt and pepper hair when I realised that another colleague who has grey / white hair was in the room ....cue me then stupidly trying to rectify the situation by telling her that he hair was lovely ....... in the end I had to just shut up because it was so embarrassing 🙈

He would be the very last person ever to wear a glittery jumper anyway. It’s my socially awkward brain that feels the need to gabble crap whenever we see someone, especially if we’ve not seen them in a while.

It’s a genuine mix of pleasure at seeing someone and the need to fill the conversation. I am honestly feeling sick when I think of it.

Oh god, this reminds me of a similar awful incident that happened to me at work a few years ago. I was leaning over someone's shoulder while she showed me something over her screen. Her desk was covered in what I thought was dust. Light heartedly I said "Blimey Emma, look at the dust on your desk." There was an awkward silence. A bit later the person next to her told me it wasn't dust. She had Psoriasis and it was skin

That’s hilarious!!

But also, I am dying for you

😂 that's one of those things that will make your bum clench whenever it crosses your mind..

had moments like this too just have to laugh!

You should've stalked them and slipped an industrial sized bottle of Head & Shoulders into their basket while they were contemplating the cucumbers.

Oh dear

Years ago a colleague was leaving to set up their own business, and when they told me the name of it I thought they were kidding and bust out laughing going 'haha good one, that's so cheesy'

Oh god . I had a similar one to you Violet. I asked my BOSS what was in her hair, as it looked like grated cheese. I HONESTLY thought she had had something fall on her or get stuck in her hair. It was her eczema

Luckily she already knew I was the foot-in-mouth queen and kindly let it pass by but I still cringe about it.

I also still haven't learned and would totally say something like what you did, OP. I get nervous because I'm shy, and just blurt.

i asked my doctor about getting a zipper for my mouth, as i have op's problem, he said they don't do them on the n.h.s.

I wore a kind of cricket style jumper to work, think white with navy cuffs and waistband. Very posh, stuffy and elderly financial director saw me in the open plan office and said “what a smart jumper I do enjoy a game of cricket” I had one of those moments where mouth engaged before brain and replied”that’s nice but your not polishing your balls on my new jumper” que silence ...followed by me scuttling out of the office red faced

These are awful

Obviously your only options are

a) Emigration - preferably to somewhere that there is no human habitation because no matter where you go, your Great Shame will be known to all

b) Fall on your sword

We will all respect your decision.

If it's any consolation, I grabbed the arm of a girl in my A level English group - and it was a FALSE ARM!

I had sat next to her for months, and not realised she had a prosthesis . . .

Crikey Tara that really wasn't cricket!

Oh god I feel so awful on behalf of some of the posters on here and you op!!! We've all done it

Brilliant!!!!!

@Tara336 dying!!!

Years ago I bumped into DPs second aunt and uncle in B&Q, greeted them both with a hug and had a chat with them about general family stuff, it was only as we walked off DP said why did you hug the new next door neighbours (we had moved in 2 days before) was ages until I stopped cringing

A friend (honestly, though I know you won't believe me!) was away with a group for a weekend and got up last. She got up, joined the others and said they looked as miserable as if somebody had died. Somebody had.