I have loads of ‘free’ time during the day so why do I get nothing done?

[FairlyConstantNameChanger]

Expecting a flaming but posting to see where I am going wrong.

I have two primary school aged DC. I work 2 - 3 days a week but mainly 2. So I have 2-3 days free a week.

I thought once my youngest started school I would get loads done but it hasn’t worked out that way. The house is stil a tip, my idea of having meals planned and organised has bitten the dust and I still feel I am chasing my tail constantly.

Typical day goes:-
School drop off
Home by 9:30, 10 if I have done a food shop
Half an hour to tidy breakfast things, laundry etc
Gym class twice a week which lasts for an hour but realistically takes an hour and a half with travel time etc.
Clean the house once a week on the day I don’t have a gym class.
Start prepping for school pick up between 2-2:30pm as we do swimming etc after school and I often need to make a packed tea.

That seems to leave me only a couple of hours but surely still should be enough to have a tidy house? Then through the day I am doing laundry, constantly trying to declutter, prep tea then before I know it it is school pick up.

The old me with a baby and a toddler who never had time for herself in the day would have hated the current me. How can I have so much time yet achieve so little?

Facebook and Mumsnet are responsible for a lot of my lost time!

I've found that if you don't declutter it's impossible to tidy effectively. If it's hard to find a spot where to put something away, or it has no spot, you either won't put it away or spend a few minutes shuffling things around to find a spot. Multiply that by every time you use any item throughout the day, and you can spend an hour or more just shuffling things - and it's still messy! If you declutter so that every item has a home that's easy to access, you can put things away in a few seconds straight after use. Obviously vaccuming etc takes longer as well.

I would make this the priority and be extremely ruthless.

2 hours at the gym is not a very time efficient way to exercise imo.
I used to run for this reason - you can start exercising as soon as you leave your front door and finish 30 mins or so later. Saving an hour each day to do something else with.

Also with decluttering I find it easier than do with someone else so often get DH involved at the weekend.

Honey

So, so true about the decluttering.

I used to run Snog and now I have bloody plantar fasciitis so can’t. Have been having treatment for months. Super, super annoying. The gym is weight training.

I have my almost 3 year old at home every day, except for 3 hours once a week. In that time I can get LOADS done because it's my only free hours. Similarly I can get loads done in the 20 minutes spare (kids watch tv) in the morning. It is true that tasks expand to fill the available time.

If I had 2 days off (with no DC) a week, I'd have one day where I did something like a gym class, followed by a proper weekly shop or IKEA-type errands to free up the weekend. I'd probably fit in a lunch out with my mum or grandma too. Then I'd have another day when I devoted majority of time to big household jobs (after gym class). Obviously stuff like dishwasher etc needs to be done every day but can be squeezed into pockets of time surely?

As PP have said, looking at your list I do think there must be quite a bit of faffing / distractions going on. HOW can making a packed tea for 2 take 15 minutes plus need extra time later?!

Good luck with sorting this out - January / February is a crap time for motivating yourself to change but it seems such a shame to waste so much time when you could condense all the pockets of "5 mins on Mumsnet" into a meaningful amount of time (for fun, or to free up fun time later in the week!)

How about this as a prototype schedule:

Get dressed in running gear. Clear breakfast and put a wash on before school run. No going to the shop.

9.30 run, shower
10.30 housework 1 hour
11.30 meal prep
12 lunch break
12.30 declutter or deep clean task 1 hour
1.30-2.30 hobby time/ relaxation

Oops sorry I missed that you are unable to run 😔
Perhaps a Homebased workout though?

I’m with you on this, I have 3 dcs, older 2 in school youngest does one and a half days in nursery. But I do reading in school on one morning and then after school activities so it’s only a short day anyway.
The decluttering thing is really tricky. I feel like I’m forever starting the jobs but never get to the end of it! I end up with less stuff as I can be pretty ruthless and chuck loads but then end up with a box of filing to do/ box of things to go out to the shed/ clothes to be mended etc, and then those things sit around for ages! How do people manage to complete those tasks.

I find taking photos or imagining I’m taking photos of rooms/ areas of rooms to see them through someone else’s eyes is really helpful. When I end up with the inevitable piles of crap sitting around I try to see what a mess it looks like rather than just seeing past it.

Anyway I keep reminding myself that I’m one person trying to put away/ clean up after 5 people. I think I need to try and recruit the dcs to help more.

Can your dcs sort their own art work? Get them to choose 3 pictures they are really pleased with?

Thanks for the really great tips from others

The problem is no one tells you how to decluttering except Marie Kondo, and most people take the piss out of her.

the best thing for me is to put my phone away. Just keep it on noisy so you’ll hear calls and move it to another room.

When tidying a room, I have to put some music on and focus on a task for a short burst. I remind myself it’ll only take 10 mins to fold the laundry - and it really does only take 10 mins.
Decluttering - the best approach for me is 1) to throw things away first and quickly. Don’t think about it too long.

2), put things into piles so they can be returned to their “homes”. Eg books, kitchen stuff, clothes, keys etc. Then return things one pile at a time.
3) create homes for everything. If things don’t yet have a home, create one.

The problem is no one tells you how to decluttering

Its not really a thing that needs outside instruction is it? Go to a cupboard or pile of things and get rid of what you dont need any more. That's it.

Totally agree it’s the getting rid of awkward things bit though. Eg I always have a sewing pile on the go as Beware says. Also the making homes for stuff which is a step I always forget to do.

Nearly sorted art work now. Some bits to ask the kids about but everything sparks joy with them .

Thanks for the timetable Snog, will try it out.

Back from appointment. Have to go back on Monday or Tuesday which will take hours. It’s completely non-urgent but want to get it done (physio related) but this means most of one of those days is gone too. How the fuck do people get stuff done?

Sweetheart, I definitely could be more productive. The packed tea is usually pasta. If I do sandwiches (which I do no problem for packed lunches) they are hungry when we get back. This way at least I can do a sandwich or toast for supper as they have eaten at their classes / activities. It’s twice a week. I often freeze the pasta but assuming I am starting from scratch I don’t see how I can make pasta, add sauce, get other snacks, fill drinks and cut up fruit and veg in less than 15 mins. The additional prep later I mean for a quick after school snack before activity or if I just need to put the pasta in flask / tupperware once it’s ready later. If I have time I do empty the dishwasher during this time too but then need to put all the packed tea stuff in so it feels never ending.

One of my friends is awesome at decluttering. But she just grabs all the stuff she doesn’t need and chucks it. Gives the easy stuff to charity and recycles the obvious stuff. Whereas I will go through properly separating non-recyclables, check if friends want stuff (only the good stuff!) etc. Not implying I am better than her. She doesn’t drive and I do so my net contribution to the environment is much worse then her. I just can’t check stuff out that could be recycled or reused even if it is a hassle.

I would just chuck all the artwork in the bin. Or if you're sentimental put in a box in the loft. I certainly wouldn't sort through it.

This is me, I have just turned in to an inherently, lazy moo. The only thing that keeps me on track is TOMM. I've been off it since before Christmas so I'm trying to get back on track this week yet here I am still on mn and I'm making lists.

This is what I meant by a place for everything...

I always have a sewing / mending pile as well, and get round to it on evenings every so often and just do a bit here and there. Like you I cannot throw away useful things especially if they can be mended. I think that’s a good thing, our world needs people to throw away less (even recycling! Reducing and reusing much better).

So now I have accepted the constant sewing pile I am just going to find a permanent place for it. I think I’m going to clear a cube in our Kallax unit in the living room and have that as the sewing pile.

Same with post I need to deal with. Couldn’t file it straight away and it used to just pile up on the kitchen counter. So I got a fancy napkin holder! And it lives in there til I get to it. Just looks neater.

Not everyone can live a minimalist life! Sometimes you need stuff! It just also needs a place to live. Maybe you need more (or more effective) storage?

Ah I see! Yes, more effective storage seems like a plan.

PP asked about life admin, I never understand how people say this is so quick. Eg I tried to pay for garden waste collection today. Simple, easy, not important in the grand scheme of things. Except the link for the payment doesn’t seem to work. Tried it twice and now will need to double check payment didn’t actually go through and ring the council tomorrow to pay over the phone. So a 2 minute task ends up taking more than 10.

I would either

1. plan chores into mornings and evenings as though you worked full time (and relax or do projects on the two short days off)

OR

2. have mornings for chores afternoons for relaxing or vis versa

Does anyone else intend to clean the kitchen and end up spending an hour scrubbing away the burned on bits at the edges of the roasting tin rack? me yesterday I believe it might be called hyperfocus.

gallicos yes me today lol. Although i did pull the oven out to clean behind it which was pretty horrific

Yes, I never quite know where to focus .

Eva, that might work actually .

I don't know what the answer is OP but I have a colleague who seems the same as you. She works 2 x 7 hour shifts per week and has a 2.5 year old who attends nursery two days a week ( separate days from the days she works, when her parents have him.)
I work 45-60 hours a week ( lots of overtime) and have no children but a husband who also works, and although it shouldn't, the majority of housework and cooking falls to me.

I cannot tell you the amount of conversations we have about how she gets fuck all done during her week and is absolutely mystified as to where the time goes. I can't explain it. Maybe she moves slower than other people? She has far more 'free time' ( by which I mean time she's not at work doing other people's bidding) than me, but all I hear about is how she has no time to do anything.

The time/space continuum is a mysterious beast.

You have a busy day! Hardly sitting around doing nothing! Give yourself a break and don't worry about what you see as a lack of achievement, you're doing all the important stuff. Going to the gym and keeping yourself healthy is definitely a priority and keeping a family home running smoothly is a busy job.
You're doing fine OP.

Sorry I realise that's no help at all..
Just think you are still achieving plenty in your day and don't think you should be too harsh on yourself.

Thanks Ella, always feel I should get more done I suppose. Lady, I can sympathise with your colleague!