I have loads of ‘free’ time during the day so why do I get nothing done?

[FairlyConstantNameChanger]

Expecting a flaming but posting to see where I am going wrong.

I have two primary school aged DC. I work 2 - 3 days a week but mainly 2. So I have 2-3 days free a week.

I thought once my youngest started school I would get loads done but it hasn’t worked out that way. The house is stil a tip, my idea of having meals planned and organised has bitten the dust and I still feel I am chasing my tail constantly.

Typical day goes:-
School drop off
Home by 9:30, 10 if I have done a food shop
Half an hour to tidy breakfast things, laundry etc
Gym class twice a week which lasts for an hour but realistically takes an hour and a half with travel time etc.
Clean the house once a week on the day I don’t have a gym class.
Start prepping for school pick up between 2-2:30pm as we do swimming etc after school and I often need to make a packed tea.

That seems to leave me only a couple of hours but surely still should be enough to have a tidy house? Then through the day I am doing laundry, constantly trying to declutter, prep tea then before I know it it is school pick up.

The old me with a baby and a toddler who never had time for herself in the day would have hated the current me. How can I have so much time yet achieve so little?

In reality you don’t have lots of free time during the day, you have 2.5/3 hours which you’re already using for laundry, cooking and general tidying. You then have 5 hours out of the house 3 days a week and play dates on the day you’re home. No wonder you feel like you’re spinning your wheels.

Simply put, something has to give. In your shoes I’d be stopping mid week play dates if you want to keep all the kids activities - that gives you a night when you’re home with the kids so they can sort their own artwork, tidy their own stuff etc and you can pick a job that you never quite get to. I think you’re being quite hard on yourself, it sounds like you’re always on the go and don’t have one clear day at home to focus on getting stuff done.

And while I get that time at home without kids is so much easier than the days of having a little one glued to you, it’s not a break - you’re still doing things to keep family life ticking over.

Following for tips :) some days i can achieve lots others im a aterrinle procrastinator and achieve nothing!
I get limited time alone and my dds sen makes goin out quite difficult so when i do get free time i like to be out plodding around the shops... however im fully stocked up and am forcing myself not to buy anything this wek and start using up wgat we have.
I need to spend some time actually tidying, decluttering and getting on top of things at home.
On an evening once shes asleep i achieve very little i used to be up cleaning etc but nowadays lost all intrest in it.
Today is a day with some free time before work the next few days and im hoping to knuckle down and get some things done.
It’s strange because to others I apparently appear really organised with household things but i guess they don't actually live here lol.
Good luck today op maybe set yourself a mini target... take a bag round the house and immediately bin any actual rubbish or something. I find doing something where i can immediately see a result helps get me going x

Re going to the gym in the evening and your thought that it would be taking the kids because your husband works during each day.
But so too do you both at your paid job and at home. Possibly not as efficiently as you would like right now but pretty much everything you are doing on your non paid jobs days is unpaid work for the kids and home and dh surely?

Just channel your old self!!
Give yourself 30 min spots to do w load of stuff
My friend loans she can’t get stuff done and her kids are at school
I work ft, I don’t get it... I fantasise about the getting stuff done time 😂

How much laundry are you doing? You seems to spend hours on it! I work FT and do 4 washes a week ,5 mins to put on and 10 mins to sling on the airer.

You have too much stuff. You need to invest the time in decluttering. Get rid of stuff and it's easier to get clean.

I'm surprised how little you get done in that time, I suspect you take a long time to do jobs and get distracted quickly.

I think you have loads of great tips already and you can totally get on top of things.

My biggest tips (not that I have this sussed? I really don’t! But these help me to be less crap at keeping a tidy / clean house)...

• encorporate tidying up after breakfast into the kids morning routine. Get them used to bringing their plate and putting it in the dishwasher for example. Kids can do lots of helpful things, wipe down the table, wash the cups depending on how old they are.
• put laundry on in the morning during all the getting ready for school bit.
• crucially - make everyone in the house responsible for tidying up after themselves! You are not their maid! If they leave clutter out make them tidy it up themselves. Make it clear that by bedtime their clutter has to be away. Don’t forget that you work too, this isn’t your sole job. Yes you have 2/3 days a week when you’re not working, but surely that’s for cleaning and admin, not tidying up after the whole family.
• that old trope - a place for everything and everything in its place. I include daft things like “mail I need to sort” (it has a place). Be honest about the cluttered things that annoy you and give them a place. Eg it sounds daft but dh buys a weekend paper, and it’s about Tuesday before I get a chance to read it, and those few days of it hanging around with all the magazines and stuff that come with it really annoy me, so I’m going to get a magazine rack or something so it’s not floating around on the table two days a week.

Good luck , I’m sure you can crack it!

In work 4 days a week (9-5) and definitely don't have hours to spend on sorting art work!

Artwork goes in a pile then I just chuck the lot in the bin at the end of the week!

Thanks for all replies! Getting kids ready for school now but will come back later.

Can u do drop off earlier so you can start earlier? On the day I WFH I drop the DCs off at 8 and am back home at 825. (The school accepts children from 745).

How long does it take to get to the school? It sounds like it is ages away like 45mins to an hour? Long term I would question whether the school being so far away is tenable but that is for another post.

Just throw the artwork out. You won't ever look at it again.

I’d also look at what you do on your work days and what you do before school. Do laundry those days/times. Get dishwasher emptied and breakfast tidied away before you take kids to school on the days you don’t work. I assume you do that on your work days- keep same routine for the other days
Can you go to the shops for things during your lunch break at work rather than on your off days

And get your kids doing jobs. I haven’t emptied a dishwasher folded washing or set the table for years- the kids do it (they started at age 6)

It does sound like you do some things quite slowly - probably because you can. I work FT and therefore have to be more efficient. Can you force yourself to speed up on some tasks so that you have a bit more time for other things?

Also, can you delegate some jobs to your children? Could they sort out their own artwork for example?

@FairlyConstantNameChanger
I have been mega de-cluttering since Xmas. This has made the general housework take SO much less time. Honestly you have to do it! Watch Consumed or Marie Kondo on Netflix.

The other thing, do you get distracted and not finish a task? I do!! My answer to this- find a good podcast or audio book to listen to with earphones. That way you get to listen to something interesting while you do these chores. This has been my saviour. Especially if I'm really getting into a good story I actually look forward to cleaning the bathroom or putting clothes away while I'm listening!!

I was surprised how little I achieved during a school day. Sometime when the DC were at nursery I'd take the day off work and have from 7:30 - 6:00 all to myself. I had it in my head it'd be the same when at school. But school is only 6 hours, if you include walking back and forth it's 4 1/2 hours. Two hours exercise really cuts into that. Just accept you'll not get much done.
A PP sounded very organised but don't compare your day with hers - her kids were out the door at 8 - that's an hour and a half she has extra - that makes a huge difference.
Artwork - make sure you name them before putting them on the wall. And have a folder for each child you can put them in after display. Sort through them once every few months while watching tv - you'll probably bin most of them.

Plan your meals for the week and do an online shop. Then don't pop to the shops during the week. This will save you 2-3 hours a week.

Watch the tidying up programmes on Netflix for advice and motivation on decluttering.

I’m the same as you, I waste hours on Mumsnet for a start . I find it helps to focus on one task ie; set yourself a time limit, do it, reward yourself with a coffee. Yesterday I tackled a box of papers that needed filing that I probably hadn’t looked at in a year , half of them were out of date so could be binned immediately, some of them I filed straight away and the others I am going to look at this morning, just for 10 minutes. Job done.

You need to be strict with art work and other school crap, it really doesn’t need keeping, last week I threw out a load of love letters I had kept for over 35 years, (not from my DH ), why was I keeping them? I would hate anyone else to read them.

I feel your pain - I struggle with life admin, clutter and deep clean stuff. I do have housework down though.

Family of 5 here including a 2yo and 3mo who are at home with me every day. So pretty full on. I have learnt several things. Load washing up from breakfast as you go and kids help. Do not leave it for when you get home or it becomes a big clear up job. Load laundry the night before - every day of the week and in the morning whoever is up first puts it on. Then it should be ready by the time you get home. Looking at your list you're spending too much time on laundry.

The organised mum method does work but the quantity doesn't work for everyone. Adapt it. The concept works. It worked for me with a toddler and I can do about 70% of it now with a 3mo. I am really not superwoman. When I wake I spend a couple of mins wiping windows and pulling up bedcovers, DH has put washing on and I wipe one area of the bathroom daily - keeps on top of it. I do a 5 min hoover at the end of the day. Then it's just the daily jobs - with a baby I just do upstairs on a wed Inc beds and then kitchen on a Thursday and everything else is as I go. You just have to adapt it for you.

I work FT and husband works away so pretty much I deal with this stuff. Admittedly with no one being in there's less mess, so I agree with other posters saying it sounds like you have too much stuff.
My tips:

1. Be strict about what comes in to the house. I look through school bags daily and sort then and there. No piling stuff up to look at later. Same with all paperwork although we are paper free where possible.
2. Breakfast things cleared away and house tidy before you leave. I achieve this by 7.30 as well as getting myself and two kids ready so you can do it, you just need to prioritise it.
3. I put a load of laundry on after the kids are in bed. Hang out on clothes horse before I go to bed, after taking the dry stuff off and putting it away. The children's is left in piles in their room for them to sort.
4. Once you've de cluttered try The Organised Mum method. It's been great for me and my house has never been cleaner. You can do it in the time she says but only if it's already quite tidy. It's about making the time you have more effective.

It sounds like you're spending quite a lot of time on housework but not being effective. Good luck!

Some things that helped me. A digital timer. Set it for 10 minutes, say. Then do what you can (dusting, decluttering, tidying the crap off the coffee table) and when the toner goes off, stop. An A4 for each child, and a hole punch. For the sports certificates they want to keep. A decluttering method. I like flylady's method. You need 3 bags or boxes. One for keep, one for throw, one for give away. Only take one drawer or shelf at a time. In your case, an extra box for things that will need shredding. Don't do the shredding while you're doing the decluttering. The shredding can then be an extra task, to be done in your next ten minutes. But you need to have your criteria clear in your head before you start, so you don't start dithering. Pick up item, sort it. Next.

pickingdaisies that’s reminded me that I use podcasts and audio books to keep me focussed and give myself time targets when doing tedious domestic. ‘Bathroom full clean in two episodes of archers’ type motivation. I understand the archers would not work for everyone !

Thanks so much for all replies.

To answer some questions...

Apologies for the drip feed but my kids are actually at 2 different schools. We have an infant and junior school set up here. So I have to do two drop offs and pick ups which takes the time. They are in our catchment schools (both great schools so no complaints there). Can’t drop off early without paying for breakfast club which I do on work days but can’t justify on non-work days.

Definitely good idea to shop once a week and clean every day.

I do dither and feel hopelessly inefficient. I have watched both Consumed and the Marie Kondo program already .

What I don’t understand is that so many of these tips I already do (although I am super grateful for them as there will be things I don’t do). I think realising I really only have 2-3 hours in the day is very enlightening. Yes to the school day only actually being 4 and a half hours once you do drop off and pick up.

I’ll be home in 10 minutes or so then will have an hour before I need to get ready for medical appointment. Will then be 12:30 if not later by the time I get back. So half the day is gone already. DC has just informed me I need to sorry out a costume for school. Then it will be school pick up time. Determined to declutter through, will use the art work tips.

Laundry and breakfast clean up before school run. My DC eat breakfast while I fold yesterday's laundry and put a new load on. After they eat they clean their own plates etc. Lunch boxes are done night before, fresh stuff added just before they leave, they put their lunch stuff in their bags which are by the door as they go up to do their teeth.
Before we leave for school run it's all tidy and laundry is on and dry stuff is in a basket ready to put away.
Putting away is either done when I get back or if no time, I do it whilst children are in the shower in the evening.

Decluttering is a weekend job when Dh is around to help.
Day to day is just a house clean. So Mondays bathrooms, Tuesday dust and hoover and mop, wednesday food shop, Thursday sheets, Friday, hoover.
Each day I wipe kitchen sides after lunch and run the dishwasher which Dc2 empties after school.

I'm home all day but also have a 9month old.

Decluttering and big sort outs I tend to do at the weekend, my DH will take the kids out for the day so I can sort through bedrooms, clear the playroom or whatever - I work best in chunks of time so starting to decluttering in a spare 15 minutes just wouldn’t work for be.

I also find the weeks I do 3 days at work are a real struggle because I’m starting one day down already (so in hours terms I have 6 hours at most instead of 9 across the week) 6 hours to myself for a weeks house running, planning, cooking and cleaning isn’t actually that much - I use a good bit of time after school and in the evening to keep on top of things (time that you’re usually out with kids doing activities).

If clutter is an issue can you spend a week or two where you really focus on it (in the time you have)?

I think it’s a mindset thing. It sounds like you maybe save things to make a task out of them? The artwork itself is not a task, sort it as it comes into the house. I don’t keep all my kids scribbles but something they have put time into and are proud of I put up, we have three frames in the kitchen for it and they get changed when new things come in to the house to replace them. When they come down they go into a small box in the loft which I sort through at the end of the school year. Saves anything hanging around on the kitchen table for months.

Laundry, I do a load most days as I have limited drying space and hate to dry it indoors. The machine gets loaded at night and then goes on in the morning after showers are done then it is usually finished for when I get back from dropping the kids off and running errands.

Can you break your cleaning down a bit rather than save it all up to be one big mammoth task? I do something everyday to keep on top of it, even if it’s small. Clean the bathroom after it’s been used rather than save it for that one day a week, I wipe the toilet and sink in the bathroom whilst one of the kids is in the bath, youngest is 5 and does need someone in there, then give the bath a clean after they’re out.

Life admin/household admin I’m not sure what that is, I see it on here a lot but I don’t think it’s helpful to label everything as a task it adds to your mental load too much, just deal with things as you need to. I booked my mot yesterday is that household admin or is it a 30 second phone call and making a note on a calendar? I think if you stop seeing things as tasks and just try and build smaller jobs into your daily routine it will help and you’ll feel less overwhelmed. Of course, you’ll probably need to have a proper clear out before you can get to the keeping on top of things stage but that doesn’t have to fall to just you. I’m assuming not all the mess is yours.