What does your DH do when you are ill?

[PurplePepperEater]

Does he just assume all responsibility, send you to bed and bring you tea?
Or does he expect you to still do everything and get annoyed when you can’t?

Every time I’m unwell I have to beg and plead with home to help me and/or to let me go to bed or have a lie down, we always always argue when I’m ill, he never wants to take time off from work for me and I always feel like I’m punished in some way for daring to be ill
I’ve actually took myself off to my Mums before now to be looked after and get some rest because I don’t get any at home

I just want to feel like he cares and he’s a bit sad that I don’t feel well because he loves me and wants me to be happy - is that really so much to ask??

Why would you marry such an idiot? He sounds dreadful. Life cannot be fun! Choose someone who supports you, is a team player and makes life great! You have the opposite!

He didn’t used to be like this Hollow tbh I think he resents the fact that he’s the only one bringing money in now and as time has gone on he expects to do less and less because of that

When I was lying on the sofa feeling pretty rough - sore, itchy and throbbingly achey with shingles, dh (in the same room!) answered his phone to a relative and said, 'We're both fine, thanks!' - in answer to 'How are you?'
I felt 😈 as well as shite.
To be fair, he's usually pretty good, though his colds are naturally invariably far worse than mine, as demonstrated by explosively loud sneezing like a cannon going off 134 times a day.

As a dd said re the shingles, 'Probably because you didn't actually look ill.' Presumably meaning rash not all over my face, merely in waist area.

DH will look after our little one and let me rest. He'll go to the shops for snacks or medication and he'll bring me tea in bed and cook tea. Depends on how ill I am to doing this around work or taking a day off to look after our DD. He's pretty good. He'll also take her out to give me some quiet in the house if he can

My DH always takes care of me when I'm ill. He always looked after the kids and did all household chores when they were small. They're adults now and have left home But look after their girlfriends too
That's why I've been married to him for nearly 30 years. He's a kind man

Absolutely fuck all.
Been really unwell all weekend but I managed to get to the shops on Saturday to get stuff for dinner while he watched sport.
Yesterday he very kindly said he wouldn’t disturb me in the kitchen when I made dinner because he knows I prefer doing it my own.
I’m actually seething about it now I think about it. I’m really hoping some of my snot dripped into his dinner as I served it up

If you are physically throwing up continuously, you're incapacitated, not just ill. Therefore, it is irresponsible of him, as a second parent, to leave the kids in your care while you are in this state as you are currently not capable of looking after them.

This is not about what you need or how he feels about you being ill. It is about his responsibilities as a father. Without him taking time off how are you going to prepare their meals, pick them up from school, or, God forbid, help them if one of them has an accident?

If he felt like this , will he call in sick? You betcha! And will you fuck off out and leace him with the children? Of course not, because you would worry about them and you know what the stress of getting on with it,when you really can't, feels like.

In answer to your question: nothing but get in my way, break things when attempting to be "helpful", winds DS up and generally just can't cope, but he gets brownie points for trying I suppose.

Overall he is ok, will do the dishes, cook a meal from random ingredients in the cupboard don't eat it, it will make you more un-well. Attempts to function...🤷

He will say "go lie down" but barks it at me like I'm a dog 🙄 so we have arguments about that.

Luckily DH works away a lot, so I don't have to deal with his inability to adult much haha!

Oh god I'm not I'm not painting a good picture of him 🙈 he's good at other things though trust me!

When recovering from a horrible stomach bug, my DH once helpfully asked if I wanted a fajita. Erm, no thanks, I'll probably go for something fairly bland when I do eventually start feeling like food. He then proceeded to make said fajitas and the house stunk but at least he'd fed himself and DD!

If I’m just ill with a bug or something he’s not too interested. I said the other day “I’ve been sick twice” and he didn’t really bat an eyelid. But I wouldn’t have to beg for help, I’d just say I’m going to bed can you watch dd and he would. He’s just not great at tea and sympathy.

When I was genuinely seriously ill after having dd he sprung into action-dressed and showered me, did all the night feeds, made me rest. He’s a good egg really.