What things do you see and think are just pretentious?

[SneakyGremlins]

For me it's cafés with "no WiFi here, talk to each other!" signs.

A) I'll probably go elsewhere thanks

B) My best friend likes to sit on his phone anyway because they don't realise mobile data exists.

I just find it so wanky - if I'm going out to spend money on a drink and several pieces of cake then I'm going out to relax. If I want to be on my phone then I will be.

Twirly hipster moustaches. No, you look like a fucking Poundland Wyatt Earp.

Ppl who take up more than one parking space. I admit I’ve been that cunt who left them a note explaining the rules of parking.

Ppl who talk on their phone, on loudspeaker, like it’s a dictaphone. I don’t want to hear both sides of your inane conversation. Wanker.

Ppl who don’t say thank you when you hold a door open. YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME!

Ppl who stay on their phone while trying to use the self-checkout! Get a fucking move on.

Scooters. If you are over the age of 8, I reserve the right to push you under a bus.

I feel better.

Avocado smash

@Drogosnextwife They are ridiculous and rarely work. I spent years puzzling about one that read SLOPNES. Turns out it was meant to read Sloanes 😆

Artisan water, himalayan pink salt, craft beer for £20 a half (yes really!)

CemetaryGates

Add to the list:
anyone that 'Admits visitors'

DH has a personalised plate which was bought for him as a gift. He has a work van and so asked if he could put his plate on my car, i said no.
Because i think the only thing worse than a personalised plate is someone elses personalised plate!

Oh yah!
Ses it all!

The selfie

@BigStripeyBastard

Thanks you're the second person to notice. I don't often meet fans of The Civil Wars

YES!! @Dusty wtf is the speakerphone thing? I have asked in various places and nobody could offer an answer apart from ‘dental tumours’

Toilet door signs that are deliberately difficult to suss out. It's not funny and clever when you're seeping into your gusset trying to remember if you're XX or XY.

Ppl who don’t say thank you when you hold a door open. YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME!

Erm, rude. But not pretentious.

and personalized reg plates aren't pretentious either. They're just tacky.

WTF even is cold pressed coffee?
It's a fucking outrage, that's what it is.
Half a pint of watery, brown coloured shite from the Devil's Own Rectum that tastes so little of coffee, you actually wonder what head injury you sustained as to make you think paying three pounds fifty for this pond water-esque abomination was a reasonable idea.
Then you spend thirty minutes malevolently sipping this chilled, Satanic turd water, all the while thinking you could have gone home and had a Nescafe Gold Blend for nowt!

Huge bows on front doors at christmas, think it's called wrapping your front door?

Chips served in a mug/tiny bucket/flowerpot.

Smoothies - just have a milkshake or some fruit.

Bread and dipping oil - which I love but feet pretentious when ordering or eating it.

White 4x4s.

Apologies in advance if I offend anyone who uses the phrase but 'Love you to the moon and back' Gaahhhh

Oh and those Beats headphones when they were all the rage that time, the big ones, plenty of better ones out there, but people wanted the name

Feel not feet 😂

BartonHollow
I love them. I really would love to know what made them suddenly decide they could 'no longer continue as a touring entity' and then never appear to speak again.
They seemed perfectly....well, civil when I saw them play in Manchester the night before!

@BigStripeyBastard

Well, I think...

Either an affair took place, which they both deny

OR
One made advances to the other and was refused based on the fact that one is married ( could be either party)

It had to put a strain on a marriage, two beautiful people singing love songs to each other 🤔

Tasting menus are great!

The ones I’ve had have been around 10 courses but smaller dishes, usually like a soup, fish dish, pasta dish, meat dish, dessert, cheese, all with wine. I assure you you will not be hungry.

@BigStripeyBastard sorry so late to the party but had to tell you I woke up my DP absolutely pissing myself at the peacock hate 😂😂😂

“Fucking hard and feathery”

I’m sorry but how the fuck can hummus possibly be said to be pretentious when you can buy it in the local Spar for 89p? What is pretentious about it - it’s just a thing to eat, available absolutely everywhere.