What things do you see and think are just pretentious?

[SneakyGremlins]

For me it's cafés with "no WiFi here, talk to each other!" signs.

A) I'll probably go elsewhere thanks

B) My best friend likes to sit on his phone anyway because they don't realise mobile data exists.

I just find it so wanky - if I'm going out to spend money on a drink and several pieces of cake then I'm going out to relax. If I want to be on my phone then I will be.

ShouldHaveListenedInBiology

^

Thanks, man

Deconstructed food
Wooden boards and metal buckets instead of plates
Chelsea tractors
Loud fake kissing

BartonHollow
Love your username!

those awful hipster hats that barely cover down half way down the fringe. those like a mini beanie skull cap. that's far too small and meant for a child. Weird.

Especially when paired with too short trousers, and a thin moustache.

Prices that are not prices on menus i.e.
Chips 4
Caviar and chips 35
Spotted dick 8

My local does it on their pub grub menu. I'm tempted to give them 35 tupperware lids as payment for my caviar and chips, but I don't think they'd see the funny side.

35 Tupperware lids 😂😂😂

@BigStripeyBastard* I’m getting the impression you are not fond of peacocks, am I right?
🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚

Double barrelled surnames

OK. Let me assure @Slimthinpin that when I get round to making breadcrumbs, I do freeze them. I just feel a deep reluctance to add another step to the process by drying them in the oven. But maybe one day I will care enough about an Ottolenghi dish to do it.

@Scandaloso imagining that has made me laugh quite a lot !

And let's not forget hyphenated middle names when there's no need to hyphenate them.

Tarquin Sebastian-James Micklethwaite-Moore Thompson

No name should have more syllables than an episode of Give Us a Bastard Clue.

Food served on weird items. I love the #wewantplates pages on social media.

MLM bots talking at length about their business and being a businesswoman. It's so silly and all fake it stuff.

Veganary / dry January etc. I know I'm unreasonable for finding it pretentious but literally nobody cares and for a month it seems most workplace chat is taken over by who is the most virtuous for 31 days. I'm happy eating my lunch without being told what artisan Peruvian nut butter you've sourced from an ethical cooperative which tastes better than actual butter.

I think i concur bloodybridget. I think maybe Ottolenghi dishes should also be on this list though right? Too many ingredients, I've had the book a few years and made only one of the recipes. I'm sure each one would cost around £20 to buy all the obscure ingredients... they do look yummy though...

"Sourcing" "sourced"
What's wrong with finding and found FFS so pretentious

Faded I will admit I have surprised myself with my vitriol towards peacocks but there we go.
PeaHENS.... no problem. PeaCOCKS.......bastards.

My name is BigStripey and I am a Bird Misandryst. Apparently.

@poster BigStripeyBastard

Funniest fucking thing I’ve read all week, brilliant! 😂

I saw a bloke running on the bloody seafront undercliff (covered in pebbles and bits of sharp flint) barefoot this afternoon. On grass I can totally get on board with barefoot running but on concrete? Smacks of a need to be noticed. My dad and I got some great conversational mileage about how much of a wanker he looked 😂

BigStripeyBastard Loved the rant, very funny.

Hand cut chips!! Just why?

Range Rovers, cannot abide them, bloody hulking ugly great lumps of metal with people driving them who generally have far more money than sense.

JustHereForThePooStories

I saw a great example of the clipboard menu a few weeks ago, one of the sides was Fermented Roots.

Mmm, sounds delicious.

When magazines talk about ‘a blue trouser’ ‘a red lip’

Dressage - although to be fair, it’s quite hard to do

@KlutzyDraconequus

How are house names and electric gates pretentious?

I think it's pretentious to give your house a name when a number will suffice / is already in use. But when your house it situated in a very rural area, a name makes sense.

If your gate is a reasonable walk away from your house, electric gates are very useful in admitting visitors, especially when you have small children at home.

This.

People who act like sugar is cyanide and don't let their kids eat fruit, or if they do make out like grapes are a 'treat'. Let them have some fucking buttons.

A cafe I went to where everything on the menu involved avocado. I don't like avocado and just wanted a nice fry up for brunch.

The way people are so into how tea or coffee is made. WTF even is cold pressed coffee?!

My favourite cake shop making everything vegan.

ignorance about the word ‘curated’. It’s ‘chose’, you wanker

Hell yes.

Slogans such as "Living my best life" and all that shit.