Be honest long term couples how often do you DTD

[wanderlust6848]

Asking really people who are in a long term relationships with children how often? Had a chat with some friends recently who admitted its a lot less than you would think. Thought people might be more honest on a Anonymous forum.

Once or twice a week.

Maybe 6 times a year. Absolute most. It has really upset me at times, angered me at other times. Knocked my confidence at times, but there’s nothing i can do. I would be unreasonable to put pressure on. I never initiate anything either anymore.

So, this year i went passive aggressive and got a jar. Each time i put a coin in for a visual. Theres two coins in there. Same night, but still.

Think we did in September. Or was it October?

Average of twice a week probably. Some weeks loads some weeks not at all, depends on time of the month and how tired we are. Together 10 years and we have 2 small children.

We go through phases. Sometimes loads sometimes hardly at all. I have a fluctuating libido 😬

A few times a week. We are ttc though! Before that probably 1-2 times a week.

Answers will vary enormously depending on posters stage of life, age of children, TTC or not, childcare and general exhaustion. We’d love to do it more often but time and a toddler who wakes frequently in the night often disturbs events!

We don't. The last time was maybe a year ago. I'm only in my early 30s. DH isn't bothered. It makes me very unhappy.

We’ve been together 20 years, used to be at it loads then DC came along and it went down to once/twice a week. Now I’m having awful pmt/periods it’s about twice a month. Sparks still there though, it’s great when we do do it.

Once a week. We both work til 10 in the week and then go straight to bed so we only want to do it at weekends.

Once or twice a month maybe.

Once a month. No excuses either as no kids. I have no sex drive (anxiety/depression and fluoxetine) and feel awful about myself. I know DP doesn’t care what I look like and would jump me if I winked at him in the right way I just feel crap! Need to sort myself out really.

About once a month, (would prefer never ) I have no interest in sex at all (never have), hoped my DH would lose his sex drive as he got older, late 50s but sadly not. It’s always sad that those of us with low jsex drives seem to have partners with high sex drives and vice versa !

Best is average once or twice a week. More when ttc, far, far less when pregnant and with small babies. It took months and a lot of upset to work back up as DD1 got a bit older and slept better!

@ShutUpLegs

Once or twice a week. Together 18 years, with 3 DC (ages 9-16)

Very little. Only a few times a year. It's not been as regular as once a week since before dd2 was born and she's 8.

We'd maybe like a bit more often but we're both busy, tired, etc. Even when we went on holiday we didn't, because his mum was in the bedroom next door and the bed was very creaky.

It is what it is. We're both relatively happy with it as it is, and understanding about the infrequency due to the others issues (my work, his health issues)

About once or twice a month. Would be more, but we have a teenager in the house!

Massively varies from week to week tbh. For the last 5 months it's been about once a month because we've just had a baby who is not yet sleeping through, we also have a toddler so we are both exhausted. Before our new baby was born it was once or twice a week... before our son was born it was every day or so!

Once every month or six weeks I’d say. Very enjoyable and we always say we must do it more often but we’re both knackered with small children who love night time visits to chat.

We’re both pretty much okay with the situation (due to the exhaustion) but know it’ll get better IF our children EVER sleep the night

I've just realised that we are a very typical 1-2 times a week couple. Always on weekend mornings too.

Weeeelll.....
We didn't dtd for over 4 years after birth.
Now, i can't remember when we dtd, may have been Oct or Nov.
22 years, 1 child

DTD?

Nevertheless - I get the idea from the other posts....4 or 5 times a week.

Umm I think we are unusual. Because for us it's 5-6 times a week. 🙈

But yes we're the unusual ones not the 1-2 week or less couple.

We have on DS age 4 both work full time. I think we're just horny fuckers if I'm honest 😂

2-3 times a week on average. DC are 2 and 6 and we don’t have locks on doors so it’s less often than before...together 15 years.