I think I'm dying of the peri menopause

[MorningsEleven]

I've had kids, labour, c sections - one crash- an endometrioma the size of a jaffa orange on my ovary, an operation to remove the ovary and several paper cuts 😉

I went to bed this afternoon because the cramping and the flooding and the clots and the fucking anxiety and sleepless nights have ground me down. I've got a migraine aura and I'm just so bloody angry that my fertility can't gently fade away with a whimper.

I've always been the "get your bodyform and go roller skating in white jeans" type but I can't do this. DH gave me a hot water bottle, he's on my good list

If anyone has any advice, chocolate, chips, wine, bread, cheese, weight loss tips, similar peri distress please come share.

and would live off cereal, sandwiches and toasted sandwiches!
Everything I'd love to fall in a big fat vat of but can't mmmm carbs!!

Mireya was awful for me- a year long bleed till I could get it out.

A big problem for me was I was so unprepared for all this. My mum had none of these problems. One day her periods just stopped and that was it. As women we’re very open about periods, childbirth etc. But menopause only seems to be talked about in hushed tones by those going through it at the time. It’s like it’s some big secret. Well for my part I am telling my DD (28) about every single symptom! She is astounded and said she never realised and I say yes neither did I! At least she will be better prepared than I was.

That’s funny pickle!! I tell my family things several times too, I even look at them now and can tell and say ‘I’ve told you this haven’t I’?! It’s so bloody irritating!
Mirena made me have a 6 month period too, so weird how it works for some and not others. I totally loathed it! Made me really tearful too. Don’t need that nonsense!!!

So why did our Mothers sail through the menopause?
What is different now?

I think they just didn’t talk about it. Maybe a lot more were at home so if they needed a nap they did? They had to put on a happy front for dear husbands so just ignored how they felt? I don’t know. My mum said she sailed through too but I actually remember my dad talking to me about my mum’s bad moods and what to do to help.

My Dsis is 5 years younger than me and last year she went to the docs as her periods had stopped, no other symptoms. And he told her it was menopause so she sailed through it too. When I complained to my mum about mine she did say that apparently my gran really suffered. So I don’t know that it is that more people suffer now. But, with the internet, we can talk -complain- about it more!

I've just had a piece of chocolate cake. It was a proper Michael Rosen job.

I was finding commuting to work difficult as my periods were so heavy, my GP put me on HRT, it was a life saver, my family and friends noticed my whole mood lifting.
10 years on I'm still on it.
It keeps me sane.

@pickled - increasingly frequent (up to 4 or 5 per day) migraines with mostly long, involved, terrifying auras - to the point where it looked like I was having a stroke or a seizure. My GP thought I must have had a tumour) Scans show scarring from stupid migraines now. I have just started patches. Second one on bum this morning. Also have osteopenia at 46. Can see myself being a crumbly old lady, despite chucking she’d loads of vit D down my neck for years. Yay - not. No skiing for me! Am studying nursing with the intention of setting up menopause and perimenopause clinics in Aus as nothing exists.

Keep an eye on that just. My oldest sister started having seizures when she hit peri. Apparently the hormonal stuff with menarche and menopause can trigger them (also, there's a family history of epilepsy, which doesn't help).

I actually have no clue where I’m at menopause wise - and I’m closer to 60 than 50! Other than missing the odd period and the next one being a bit like the battlefield at Culloden (thank god for my mooncup) I had no medical issues whatsoever. Never had hot flushes or night sweats or wanted to throw food/0people out the window - any of the standard signs.

I then had the Mirena coil fitted and it all kicked off..fabulous on the one hand that my periods stopped dead, but...first came the slightly swollen fingers - I couldn’t wear my rings for almost a year.

Then the bladder problems...I thought thrush perhaps? Nope - eventually fibroids were diagnosed- whole family of them with the largest doing a jig on my bladder. Wtf happenened to the fact that meno and/or Mirena is supposed to lessen the chance of fibroids - maybe my estrogen is fighting back with its last gasping breath . Gynae saw me within the required 3 months and sent me for Urodynamics - saying they had to check it all out...deep joy. Said it was’t the fibroids. Did Urodynamics - tubes in various orifices, pumped full off saline then had to execute star jumps and touch my toes several times. No problems there. Apparently my bladder problems are due to fibroids and I have been waiting for a follow up appt. that should have happened 6 months ago.

Then there was the joint/nerve problems...a bit like carpal and cubical tunnel syndrome both at the same time in my hands and arms. Adjustments were made at work, I bought wrist supports for work and wearing over night (don’t anyone ever buy the ones with magnets in...very weird and quite aggravating). I also learnt nerve gliding exercises. This eventually resolved after several months, but I had blood tests done for all sorts - felt like I was as regular at my GP’s as at my local.

So now it’s me and my bladder. I have put on about ½ stone over the past few months. I don’t know if it’s just fat, or fibroids.. I also have a spotty face. I never have spots, even as a teenager, except a monthly period spot. Now they appear overnight, and won’t go away.

The worst thing with all this is not knowing what’s caused it...yet if anyone does a search of pretty well anything plus menopause... it’s a match!

Oh yes...there’s also the eyebrow hair. Just the one - it sprouts overnight and I wake up and wonder what’s tickling my eye. Btw, if anyone gets these, trim with scissors - don’t pluck!

Oh don't get me going on the hair. I've the face of a goat. I need a lawnmower for my chin.

Oh god it's hell isn't it? I'm seriously worried about losing my job. I can't get to sleep at night and when I do finally fall asleep at around 4am I then sleep through my alarm. I've been to Occupational Health and they were all sympathetic and sent me to a Mindfulness course, but now I'm going through another bout of it and all sympathy at work has disappeared. My periods have always been heavy but now I can flood through a night time pad and onto my chair within minutes. Occasionally I don't have a period at all. And the PMT, I've always had mood swings, now I just have black rages. My poor new DP. I completely laid into him this weekend. Then cried. Then normality kicked in again and I felt totally ashamed of my irrational behaviour. I feel like I am going insane.

The eyebrow hair! Yes! I hadn't realised! And the regular chin shave. Sigh.

Re flooding at work, I took to sitting on a cardigan (and occasionally a carrier bag). It bought me precious extra time and reassurance.

Oh snap. And why did no-one tell me about the insomnia?

@pickled - am under very good specialist care thanks to my freaky migrainey things. They have told me that they are not unrelated to seizures but they’re not willing to call them seizures yet. We have a strong history of epilepsy in the family which terrifies me, so I am being vigilant. My migraines seem linked to a set of symptoms that will no-doubt be labeled as a syndrome sometime in the future, and it will be linked to my mother being a very heavy smoker when she was pregnant with me. My neurologist looked at my brain scan the scarring in my brain and rattled off a list of seemingly random and un-linked medical conditions that he said is due to DNA damage in-utero thanks to her desire to maintain her anorexia and deliberately have a small baby. Good choice Mum.

My eyebrows are practically invisible - I’m naturally blonde. They are disappearing from the outside towards the middle. Except for one. The Olympic eyebrow hair, that is like someone else’s pube has jumped ship and transplanted itself on my forehead. It has a couple of random friends, too. A nose hair that pokes straight down towards my lip, that is long and jet black, two facial hairs that are invisible in front of a mirror, yet are like spikes of fibreglass, right below my ear, and one MONSTER of enormous girth that makes me bleed when I tweeze the bastard from my chin at every opportunity. (I keep my tweezers in the car. Best lighting for catching that sucker!!!)

I've stopped tweezing, as I get a spot where the hair tries to force its way through again. Now I just shave with Japanese facial razor.

Disappearing eyebrows are a thyroid thing too.

That all sounds very scary, Lou.

Have any of you who bleed heavily considered an ablation? I had one when I was about 49 due to the most awful heavy periods with clotting. I went out one night with friends and whilst I was driving home I flooded everywhere. When I walked in my DH freaked as he thought I'd been in a car accident! I saw my GP who offered 3 choices, the mirena (which I didn't want as I didn't want to start messing my body about with hormones when I knew I was in perimenopause) a hysterectomy or an ablation. I had the ablation and my periods stopped completely for a year but then returned but were so slight I hardly noticed them. It changed my life.

I am older than most of you now as I am 57. I thought I had gone through the menopause last year, having not had a period for 15 months. I had a few hot flushes but sailed through. Then I had a post meno bleed, queue investigations for endometrial cancer. Thankfully all was fine but I was told I had to effectively start my clock again and another year had to pass before I could say I had gone through menopause. It will be a year in March and so far so good. However, this time round the hot flushes and brain fog are horrendous. I get so hot during the day that I actually steam up my glasses! Sooo embarrassing if you are in a meeting and you can't see with your glasses off but can't wear them because of the steam coming off you!!

YES! What's with the chin hair. I'm light blond all over my body but had three jet black thick hairs growing out of my chin like a troll.
A couple of years later they turned white. I have to excavate them every few weeks with a tweezer.

The hot flushes are milder and more manageable for me now but are still on-going, nonetheless, several years in. Most other symptoms have gone now though thankfully. I couldn't leave the house at times though when the flooding was at its worse.

I found Shabir from Victoria Health really knowledgeable on the subject. Yes, he's got products to sell and a commercial motivation but nonetheless, his knowledge is impressive. This video is well worth a watch

Ah yes the chin (but luckily not many there) and upper lip hairs, alot there! I pluck out the course ones and then run this trimmer thingy over. Also carry tweezers and small mirror, as seem to notice one in car mirror on the way out somewhere!

I am vacillating between thinking that the idea of a magnifying mirror could be the best thing ever - or a quick trip to suicidal thinking....

I had horrible night sweats, insomnia, period stopped, so off I go to the doctor to get HRT and my blood pressure is high so can't get it. Put on blood pressure tablets and the night sweats stopped completely. I still have a bit of anxiety for no reason