I think I'm dying of the peri menopause

[MorningsEleven]

I've had kids, labour, c sections - one crash- an endometrioma the size of a jaffa orange on my ovary, an operation to remove the ovary and several paper cuts 😉

I went to bed this afternoon because the cramping and the flooding and the clots and the fucking anxiety and sleepless nights have ground me down. I've got a migraine aura and I'm just so bloody angry that my fertility can't gently fade away with a whimper.

I've always been the "get your bodyform and go roller skating in white jeans" type but I can't do this. DH gave me a hot water bottle, he's on my good list

If anyone has any advice, chocolate, chips, wine, bread, cheese, weight loss tips, similar peri distress please come share.

@aethelgifu perhaps as, your GP if he/she thinks you are truly depressed.

Acquant yoursrlf with the NICE guidelines on menopause - this should be the gold standard for treatment of (peri)menopausal symptoms. Have a look at this link www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng23/ifp/chapter/Managing-your-symptoms
Perhaps find and print off the full guidelines to show them. If they still remain unconvinced change GPs.

*ask your GP

@aethelgifu perhaps as, your GP if he/she thinks you are truly depressed.

Because they're really the font of all knowledge and he/she can definitely know that after speaking to you on the phone for two minutes, but thanks for the help .

Thankfully someone has just messaged me about the Menopause Matters board.

What I meant was, ask the GP why they have given you ADs when the NICE guidelines have contraindicated them and state that HRT is more effective when (peri)menopausal. Knowledge is power!

Menopause Matters is a great board, both in terms of info and also its forum. Some areas also have menopause clinics with more specialist help that can be sadly lacking at some GPs.

Menopause clinics? Do they involve pointless anger and gin? Can I sign up now?

What I meant was, ask the GP why they have given you ADs when the NICE guidelines have contraindicated them and state that HRT is more effective when (peri)menopausal. Knowledge is power!

Ha, he couldn't get me off the phone fast enough! He didn't even tell me which AD it was, I had to ask! Then I got in one question about it (weight gain, as I'm 2st overweight now and it's been hard to get it off -- I lost half a stone already - probably due to my age as my diet is no different) before he said, 'No, it won't,' and rang off.

I have hot flushes and night sweats, what feels like heart palpitations and anxiety but ONLY at certain times of the month (my cycle is still regular, but the periods are very light and short). My skin is much drier now but I have acne on the lower part of my face.

I'm 48.

But nope, it was 'just take this and I'll see you in a month'. Well, I didn't dare take them as even the leaflet said it puts on weight as 'very common'.

So I'm glad to have found Menopause Matters. Just joined up.

Why can’t they just stop overnight as quickly as they began! I can’t wait to get rid of them but nearly 51 & like clockwork. But ovulation is getting very painful as if they’re squeezing out the last eggy dregs.. I wish

Its been over 4 years since my periods stopped, its was weird as all my periods were regular every 28 days give or take a day then the last ever period I had was very light I was normally quite heavy the first couple of days but this last one I was so light and for 1 day and then that was it Inever had any more.

I remember people say to me they would become eratic but I didn’t expect them to just stop completely, but the sleepless nights being irritable and night sweats were awlful though I don’t think I got them as bad as some people.

Even no I don’t feel like my usual self and find I walk around with brain fog most of the time and I have trouble remembering things and retaining information but I’ve resisted HRT, I still sleep with a fan on because I get hot in the night though not in the day now.

Do we think it's getting worse? How have people managed- are we trying to do too much? Should we be sat at home knitting? Honestly, I couldn't hold a full time job down at the moment.

I was a late finisher, with a ten year peri. Worst thing was pmt, but after about 30 odd years of spot on timing, it changed to 3 weeks quite often. Not had much in the way of sweating, but went through a stage of feeling queasy, with strong deodorant smells in particular. Plus the brain fog. Still got that!

My mother sailed through menopause. Her periods stopped at 51 and she never no symptoms at all. My sister and I on the other hand . . .

My mother looks astounded whenever I mention any female health problems.
"Well, I never had that!"

Wonder3d why she was always so unsympathetic. She seems to have sailed through it all with everything feeling under control. DSis and I have had gynae ops, thyroid problems, peri problems, flooding, fibroids, clotting, you name it...

Nobody tells you how awful it is or how disruptive to your life.

Before it happens you think oh menopause how can it be, it's a natural process blah blah.

After I threw a rowdy patients phone out of the window in a rage one day my boss took me aside and suggested I might want to try HRT, I burst into tears.

Since HRT everything is great. No more nasty symptoms. I don't know how anyone is supposed to function at work or anywhere else without it tbh.

The killer for me is that I struggled to conceive and could go 10 months without a period. Now I'm done with the reproduction malarkey, they're every 20 days the buggers.

Interesting question picklemepopcorn. I think there are more expectations placed on women and I think we expect better quality of life and a "fix" for everything. Today I did a bit of sewing and took my daughter for a haircut. Ridiculous but also an achievement after a sleepless night.

After I threw a rowdy patients phone out of the window in a rage one day my boss took me aside and suggested I might want to try HRT, I burst into tears

I had shingles when I was 40 and had a 3 month period of throwing my dinner - plate and all - out if the window if anyone lookedcat me wrong. Actually the peri feels like shingles without the rash and the itching.

Anyone else get cravings? I've been bleeding heavily for the last 11 days though easing off today (last time I bled like this was after giving birth over 13 years ago) and have almost eaten nothing but endless bags of lentil spicy crisps and coconut yoghurt! Roughly 45 bags of 25g and 28 little pots 125g since last Thursday
I feel quite well just slightly lightheaded, a few palpitations and restless leg syndrome has returned. I'm taking iron tablets.
Tempted to buy more tomorrow!

Oh and liquorice bars -full of molasses.

Yes it's just like that MorningsEleven, I do wonder what your neighbours thought of all the flying plates

Engaged with a ten year peri. Sweet jesus no!! I don't think I could cope with 10 years leading up to the actual menopause.

Anyone else get cravings?
God yes!! For things I don't normally like much nor regularly eat mostly.
I have a wheat allergy but crave, to the point where i can't think about anything else, WHEAT. In particular wheat carby shit.

slipways
Salt, fat, carbs. All of them. Sometimes I get up at 4am for marmite on toast. I say sometimes, it's all the time.

madcatladyforever oh my poor neighbour. While I'm tantrumming and chucking crockery my kids are squirting him with a hose. He's a doll.

I was expecting irrational rages. Irritability. Hot flushes.

The anxiety, lethargy, sleepiness, lack of concentration...

Pickle, as for as cravings - they've gone and I eat hardly any bad snacks ☺️ but gone off vegetables. Other thing is I like a basic diet, not as much variety. Only thing is, as I have other people to cook for I'm cooking when I don't want the food, and would live off cereal, sandwiches and toasted sandwiches!

I’m going through all this too, it’s been a weird couple of years!! Had to have a coil fitted under general (have had abnormal cells removed and 4 children so cervix is screwed!!) and then had it removed 6 months later as I never stopped bleeding from the day I had it, hated it. I had it put in aged 47 as periods were absolutely everywhere but generally every 2 weeks. Since I had the bugger taken out they became much less, about every 4-5 weeks. Then I missed a month and a few months that later I missed another and now I haven’t had one since about October or November. I keep expecting it to turn up! Should I go to the GP to check do you think? I’m up to date with smear so I haven’t worried about it too much but now it seems daft to just assume.
Night sweats come and go, haven’t had them for a year but had the very odd night recently. Seem a bit grumpy to be fair (husband would probably say more than a bit but wouldn’t dare😂), it’s not being grumpy actually more than a bit more short tempered but I am horizontal so he’s still pretty lucky, so I tell him!!
I do honestly feel some days like taking myself off to bed would be paradise but tend to resist!
Forgetfulness/brain fog I think is the worse for me! It’s almost like I’m leading a double life as a complete drunk because I don’t remember quite a lot!! I’m guessing that doesn’t improve?

I looked up an actress and said 'you'll never guess' to DH. So he guessed immediately. Apparently I'd done exactly the same thing two evenings before- same actress, same interesting fact.

Possibly try Mirena coil to stop the heavy periods. It would be one less troublesome thing. I was given citalopram as an alternative to HRT for hot flushes, it helps and at least I can sleep.