Please help, poorly newborn

[Bitchfromhell]

Ds is 12 days old. Delivery via c section after difficult pg.

We discharged from hospital after 24 hours, he had a neonatal alert for his birth but it wasn't necessary. He was assessed by a paediatrician before discharge. All fine.

Since coming home he has a cough and jaundice. On day 4 we went to gp who referred him back to paediatric ward for reassessment. Again all clear.

The cough is viral and I can't put him down. He doesn't sleep other than on me. He coughs every time I lie him down. The wailing is constant unless he's feeding. I'm at the end of my tether. Please help.

Not sure, he was mid scream but has since fed and dropped off. I'll see next time he's yelling at me.

I think that looks tied. I am sure I can see a membrane just under the tongue connecting it, it looks like it is being pulled down and flattened out. With a good lusty scream I think there should be more movement.

So the screaming just started again and I can see no tie. I also ran my little finger underneath and felt nothing.
OTOH his tongue doesn't go out any further than that as far as I can see.

OP you can't diagnose it yourself and no one can diagnose it on the internet, not even with photos!

If you read the info on the link I shared in my very post, it explains what a proper tongue tie assessment involves.

Someone trained needs to assess your son's tongue function.

I understand that you're desperate and I really sympathise - I've been there - but you need real life support now, there's not much more we can do apart from give moral support.

very first post

It could be a posterior tongue tie, it's not always visible but all the symptoms are pointing to that, I'd really recommend having it assessed properly x

Ok, point taken. Will see if we can get a specialist recommended tomorrow. Just struggling to find one locally that won't involve a long car journey.

They'll normally travel to you, if you ring la leche league they keep a data base x

Have you tried this one?
Staffordshire is listed, not sure of the person's exact location
www.tongue-tie.info

Should say, spoke to a very experienced mum friend earlier who advised dummy.
It worked earlier but he is spitting it out a bit and I don't want to be putting it back in all night. He settles better with it and I think the sucking action soothes the cough.

Yes dummies can help reflux babies, it's the swallowing that helps. It's the same reason they comfort feed.

I had two midwives, one who’d been ‘specially trained’ declare there was no tongue tie. La Leche League leader found it immediately and within a few days had the snip at Kings Hospital where the consultant confirmed it

They really do feed constantly at first though. I’d sit there for hours - it’ll calm down soon

You often need to try different brands of dummies - DD will only accept MAM ones, everything else she spits out.

I may get shot down, but I gave 5-10ml formula when I couldn’t stand the long feeds anymore, just to give myself a break. Maybe 2-3 times in the first fortnight. Saved my sanity & she still feeds well now at 18 months.

I combination fed at the beginning to get a break then exclusively breastfed. Please don’t feel like a bit of formula means the end of breastfeeding. It doesn’t but it might just save your sanity

This sounds exactly like my baby - who had a tongue tie cut then was admitted to hospital and tube fed for a bit and lost her latch technique a bit. The best thing for me was nipple shields, on advise of a lactation consultant. Silicone ones, quite easy to use and saved me the nipple pain. We managed to wean off them after 4 months and still Going strong breastfeeding 2 years later. They're a bit bigger than a nipple and seemed sort of easier to latch on to! Plus it's much more relaxing when you're not in pain.
Might be worth exploring reflux with the Dr in the coming weeks. Ranitidine saved our sanity just enough!
Motherhood is SO hard. You sound like you're doing really well in tough circumstances.

Is this LC close to you?
www.lcgb.org/location/annette-kowarin/

If not you could just put your postcode in here
www.lcgb.org/Find-An-IBCLC/

Unfortunately I'm struggling to get an appointment with anyone. I can't drive due to c section and no one wants to come here.

On the plus side we seem to have turned a bit of a corner (hopefully). He's not fed as much today but filled 11 nappies. When he feeds I can hear more gulping and when I try and help him latch I'm squirting him in the face. I wonder if my milk has been a bit slow before today?

Also the dummy has been a godsend. We went for a walk and he was quiet then when he started to kick off this evening I put him in the sling with his dummy in and dusted the entire house whilst he slept

He's currently having some skin to skin after a big feed and has settled easily without the dummy.

I know that this might all revert back tomorrow but it gives me confidence that we can have lovely times together.

I'm still going to get him checked for tongue tie. Those links didn't throw up a local expert but they have been useful and appreciated.

Thank you again everyone for the support

Can your partner/the babies father not drive you and the baby? X

The baby’s father might have needed to get back to work.
Give her a break.

Give her a break? I'm asking a sensible question 😳

Yes he goes back to work on Monday, he can take another day off if necessary but feeling like we're winning a bit here atm.
Baby slept 6 hours through last night, co sleeping so not ideal for me but he's happy
Obviously I'm still worried because now that means he's not feeding enough through the night but I guess I have to accept I'm going to live my life in a constant state of anxiety now whatever happens. And I'm certainly not going to be waking up a sleeping baby.

Hv assessed him as not having tongue tie. Also gave me a number for a bf club where there is an expert that will have a look too.

Of course she fucking did 🙄

Still, hopefully the group might be helpful