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Please help, poorly newborn

103 replies

Bitchfromhell · 22/01/2019 14:16

Ds is 12 days old. Delivery via c section after difficult pg.

We discharged from hospital after 24 hours, he had a neonatal alert for his birth but it wasn't necessary. He was assessed by a paediatrician before discharge. All fine.

Since coming home he has a cough and jaundice. On day 4 we went to gp who referred him back to paediatric ward for reassessment. Again all clear.

The cough is viral and I can't put him down. He doesn't sleep other than on me. He coughs every time I lie him down. The wailing is constant unless he's feeding. I'm at the end of my tether. Please help.

OP posts:
CoperCabana · 23/01/2019 09:18

How are things this morning OP?

thewinehasgonetomyhead · 23/01/2019 09:26

Speak to your hospital to see if they have an infant feeding team, or the details may be in your red book. Please don’t rely on HV or MW to check tongue tie. My baby’s was missed and subsequently had 12 weeks of agony. By that point I’d well & truly had enough.

Thinking of you OP. You’re both doing amazingly well, nothing can prepare you for life with a newborn but the fog will soon lift!

Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 11:16

Okay, I'm back Smile
Actually we ended up having our best night so far. I think knowing it's normal helped, so thank you all Thanks

OP posts:

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Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 11:29

We co slept properly last night.
Not just me propped up on pillows holding him trying desperately not to fall asleep. I went on the lullaby Trust website (Thanks for the link) and followed the instructions and we all slept from whenever I last posted on here. He woke at 3.30 and fed from one side then nodded off. He then woke at 6.45 and fed for 90 mins on both sides. He then went back to sleep on dh until 11! Co sleeping is not my choice and frankly terrifying but it worked so what can I do.

He's washed and dressed and feeding again now and we're venturing out in a bit.

WRT nappies he does about 10/12 per day. There's a bit of poop in about 7 of them. He had pink urine for about a week, it was assessed by the paediatric guy who advised to top him up with formula. I didn't on the advice of the midwife and it did stop on its own. However I am buying some formula today along with some dummies and a hand pump.
I'm going to try anything to help, I just want to enjoy him.

I've tracked down a Lactation consultant who isn't too far so will contact them later. Also a bf support group, need to ring them too

OP posts:
Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 11:39

Should also say his latch has been checked by lots of people (midwives etc) and pronounced good. My nipples look normal other than a bit of flaky skin on the ends. I think it's the really long feeds that get very painful, although not damaging fortunately.

OP posts:
OMGithurts · 23/01/2019 11:45

Midwives know jack shit about latches. My son's tongue had a 75% posterior tie, his tongue looked normal until he got a bit older and started poking it out. He also coughed in the evenings. I hope things improve for you. Have you got lanolin cream for your nipples?

Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 12:03

Yep got lanolin cream. All the local services I've just called seem to be health visitor led.
Will try la Leche league.

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 23/01/2019 12:11

Safe cosleeping is no more of a SIDS risk than baby sleeping in a Moses basket. There are some countries whose research suggests cosleeping is safer.

NameChange30 · 23/01/2019 12:13

If you don't mind telling us roughly where you are we might be able to help with finding breastfeeding drop-ins and groups?

Midwives really don't know about latch, as PP said. Countless HVs and midwives said DS's latch was good. He had tongue tie.

Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 12:27

Thank you for link, will read, fortunately he's massive and loud so hopefully I'd know about it if I tried to squash him.

I'm in Staffordshire Smile

OP posts:
Tumblefluff · 23/01/2019 15:03

Hi OP. It sounds like you had a much better night in the end.

After the first few nights of no sleep with DD, one night she woke up after about 25 minutes for about the 10th time that night and I took her to the chair to feed her. I fell asleep holding her. It was only for a few minutes but the idea that I might have dropped her scared the living shit out of me. We coslept after that.

With DS I slow laboured for two days waking with contractions that were between 10 and 25 minutes apart, then full blown labour on the third night giving birth in the early hours.

We got home late afternoon so no time for any rest. I brought him in the bed "Just for the one night". 5 months later his baby bed has never been slept in. Bollocks to it Grin

You do what you have to do. The Safe Sleep Seven are everything you need to know. You can find it with a quick Google.

Although his latch has been checked no one will be able to say for sure as well as a lactation consultant can.

I don't know about the pink urine but that aside, his output sounds perfect.

If you are going to top up with formula but want to continue breastfeeding there are things you need to be aware of, such as a risk to your milk supply. Your breasts will only make what he asks for, so say you top up an ounce after every feed - your body will start decreasing your supply by an ounce each feed.

It is very possible to do but it's worth doing your research on combi feeding.

Also beware the risk that teats such as those on dummies and bottles can confuse a baby when it come to breastfeeding. Advice is generally not to introduce either before 6 weeks.

Many mums use teats alongside breastfeeding without incident, but many others find it a problem.

You seem s lot happier from your posts today though, and I'm so glad you got a bit of sleep. It makes the world seem like a different place with a few hours kip!

Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 17:43

Thank you so much for all of the advice. We've bought some formula and dummies and are hoping not to need them but he's currently on the boob again for the fourth time in the past two hours and it's starting to get sore. He was quite happy on Granny's knee but the cough started and he just wants boob all the time again.
We've also got the pram Carrycot out to see if he'll go down in that once he's fed.

OP posts:
FruitCider · 23/01/2019 21:28

Hi OP! Your baby sounds similar to mine 6 years ago eg persistent crying, coughing and chomping on nipples. Sounds like classic tongue tie to me, my baby had no symptoms apart from a cough (caused by silent reflux) and continuous screaming/feeding.

Are your nipples flattened in anyway after a feed? Or appear to be bruised? Is there any milk leaking from your babies mouth when they are being fed? Any clicking noises? X

Bobbiepin · 23/01/2019 21:36

Oh and your baby will always sleep through any medical appointment made for them. They will always stop doing whatever it was you took them in for and will be smily and gurgling if they wake up. It is absolutely guaranteed

This is the God's honest truth. DD once had a fever, was unresponsive and lost consciousness. Woke up and was smiling the second the paramedics walked through the door.

OP there's no shame in combination feeding. Let DH take him for a bit at night, offer a bottle when he cries and you can have a couple hours of solid sleep. They should be as far away as your home will allow with as many closed doors between you as possible.

You're doing a great job.

Burpsandfustles · 23/01/2019 21:50

Op you will be surprised at how much the baby does want feeding at first it is a shock.

Also the baby has been in you for 9 months it's perfectly normal for baby to still went to be on you or as close as possible.

My second was c section, she never went near her moses basket Shock she slept on a v pillow on my lap. In the day... At night she was in Co sleeper cot. She was pretty much in our arms or on or close for at least 6 months.

I also belive in the that extra trimester when baby is waking up to being out of the womb so it's perfectly normal to be close to you.

However do take heart... Nothing stays the same and nothing is set... He may change very soon and be happy to be out down more..

Re not being well, it's astonishing how quickly babies go down hill and recover. Always check him out if your worried... Always... Fine one hour, down hill the next...

Hang in there op, don't worry!

Burpsandfustles · 23/01/2019 21:53

By the way if you don't introduce the dummy or a bottle you may never be able too.

I was the dummy for several years. She wouldn't take one or a bottle. Again if he's unwell your the no 1 source of comfort.

Bitchfromhell · 23/01/2019 22:35

Yes I think I have heard the odd click, also milk in the corner of his mouth occasionally.

Nipple on one side looks slightly flattened occasionally.

He wouldn't take the dummy.

He's been really good today though, had two sleeps in the Carrycot

OP posts:
FruitCider · 24/01/2019 07:45

OP your baby definitely has a tongue tie in that case, contact la leche league for advice on getting it snipped. Once that's done your baby will be able to transfer milk more effectively and will stop feeding continuously x

NameChange30 · 24/01/2019 08:11

Please get support today if you can, go to a breastfeeding group or contact one of the many helplines. Don't wait to see your HV tomorrow, they are unlikely to be helpful and then it will be weekend and you'll have to wait another two days.

If it is tongue tie (which sounds VERY likely) it's important that you get it diagnosed and divided ASAP.

Bitchfromhell · 24/01/2019 09:45

I've found a bf support group tomorrow but it's hv run. Other than that the services around here seems rubbish.
Am going to try with the midwife again although I'm fairly sure we've been discharged.
Thank you again, the support is great x

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 24/01/2019 11:42

You're welcome. The HV run sessions might still be helpful, with any luck there might be someone trained/qualified there, but if not you could ask them about the possibility of a referral to a lactation consultant or tongue tie practitioner.

If they're not helpful and you can afford to go private I would just do that tbh.

DS's tongue tie was diagnosed by an excellent breastfeeding counsellor at a group (run by a voluntary organisation) and we saw the GP straight away who did refer us for division, but we decided to go private as it allowed us to get it done more quickly and closer to home.

Anyway, good luck, you will get there!

Bitchfromhell · 24/01/2019 12:40

Not sure if any tongue tie experts are about but this is my little boys mouth if anyone can see anything?

Please help, poorly newborn
OP posts:
OMGithurts · 24/01/2019 12:54

Is that as high and far as his tongue will go?

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