Please help, poorly newborn

[Bitchfromhell]

Ds is 12 days old. Delivery via c section after difficult pg.

We discharged from hospital after 24 hours, he had a neonatal alert for his birth but it wasn't necessary. He was assessed by a paediatrician before discharge. All fine.

Since coming home he has a cough and jaundice. On day 4 we went to gp who referred him back to paediatric ward for reassessment. Again all clear.

The cough is viral and I can't put him down. He doesn't sleep other than on me. He coughs every time I lie him down. The wailing is constant unless he's feeding. I'm at the end of my tether. Please help.

Am just feeding then will try tiger in a tree hold.

Medical folk are always happy to see a little baby. They can go downhill fast (and usually back up to well quickly too), but it's always worth seeing someone if you're worried or call 111.

Oh and your baby will always sleep through any medical appointment made for them. They will always stop doing whatever it was you took them in for and will be smily and gurgling if they wake up. It is absolutely guaranteed

The early days can be totally relentless, so it's no reflection on you at all. Even with subsequent babies it can be really tough. Try to go easy on yourself.

There will be no subsequent babies! Dh and I have shook on it!

He woke up just before 7pm I changed him, fed him for 45 minutes until he got sleepy. He was just chewing so I broke him off as it hurts. I did the tiger in a tree hold for 10 minutes, he grunted and cried. Then put him in his Moses. I stayed for a few minutes and dh sent me to bed. He's still screaming

What do you mean by "he's chewing"? Is your nipple coming out looking like a new lipstick when you've taken the lid off by any chance?

A feed has several stages so it can feel differently at the end than it does the beginning, and feeds can take a longer time. My DD was a minimum of 45 minutes out of every 2.5 hours, but my DS was 5 minutes every hour. There's no hard and fast rule. It's if he's coming off satisfied, which it doesn't sound like he is.

Jaundice is normal in breastfed babies, and always harder to deal with in the winter. The only way to break down the bilirubin without summer sun is feed feed feed.

Wets should be between 8-12 per 24 hours, and at least one poo per 24 hours (minimum), which should be yellow in colour with white seedy bits in it.

Meant to add that if you are getting a lipstick-nipple then there are problems with his latch.

By chewing I mean that he's letting go of his proper latch and just chomping on my nipple. Not really feeding I don't think.
I've had to go and fetch him

I agree you should see if someone can check your latch. There may be a local nhs bf group or try la leche league

When he does that have you tried detaching and telatxhing/swapping sides. Also try some gentle breast compression if it’s towards end of feed to speed flow up a bit.

Relatching they word was!!

Yes I've tried swapping sides. The record it 4 hours straight feeding. He's back on now, he broke off first side then wailed so I've put him on the other side.

Has he been checked for a tongue tie OP?

No he hasn't been checked for tongue tie. I have the hv on Friday, can they do that?
At over 10lb birth weight I wonder if I need to top him up with some formula? Is he hungry all the time?

No no no. Top ups with formula are only necessary if he's not gaining well. His weight at birth makes no difference to that. What are his weight gains so far, can you give me

lbs/ozs- birth
And then lbs/ozs and the number of days old for each subsequent weight check.

Also,can you get DH to rummage through the bin and count today's nappies? Is that possible?

My concern over a possible tongue tie is that while he's feeding frequently which is normal, he may not be feeding efficiently, making him too tired to continue sucking but possibly still leaving him hungry. Your hv may be able to have a look but a lactation consultant would be better qualified to diagnose.

Signs are usually feeding for lengthy periods of time, never seeming satisfied, poor nappy output and slow weight gain.

It's been a while since I dealt with any of this side of things (my DS has been a completely different feeder to my DD),but two other signs are a clicking sound when he sucks, and when he cries have a look at his tongue and see if it is heart shaped at all.

What you're going through is totally draining, but so normal. I'm sure lots of people on here can identify... I certainly can! I hope you start feeling better soon. You're doing brilliantly; there is no 'failing' at being a new mum. All babies are different and present challenges; it's just a hard time.

Agree: check for tongue tie. Also call la leche league for some advice.

Worth visiting a breastfeeding group to have someone to check your latch if hv/midwife isn't any good with it.

Babies do feed a lot (for hours) in the evening, so it's probably not the best time to try to get some rest (unfortunately). Can someone help you in the daytime to hold him while you have a nap? Realistically it might only be an hour's rest at a time.

www.laleche.org.uk/telephone-helpline/

Don't trust your HV's opinion on tongue tie, as most haven't had any training on this. Get s second opinion if you can. You may be able to self refer to a tongue tie clinic, it depends on the area.

Sounds like tongue tie, the chomping and the long feeds are tell tale signs. Tongue tie can cause reflux as they swallow extra air when feeding. Coughing and hating lying flat are also signs of reflux.

HV can't do a tongue tie assessment unfortunately, they are not trained or qualified to do it and will most likely tell you that baby doesn't have it (even if he does).

Your best bet is a breastfeeding drop-in or group, with any luck there will be a lactation consultant or breastfeeding supporter who can assess for tongue tie or at least point you in the right direction.

See www.tongue-tie.org.uk/Mobile/m-tongue-tie-information.html

As per PPs, HV not the answer here. I wasn't overly clear when I said "may be able to have a look". Most health visitors don't have much if any experience with it.

If you know what you're looking for it's really easy to spot, but you have to know. I've "diagnosed" a few myself before sending mums off to lactation consultants and it's always been confirmed.

Unfortunately many non-breastfeeding-specific professionals don't seem to recognise tongue tie as an issue.

The symptoms you've given wrt feeding all point to it, and as PP has mentioned, it can cause reflux which would explain the other symptoms.

In addition to the links already given by PP, the BFN may be able to signpost you to a clinic in your area and can also offer other advice and support should you need it. They can also let you know if there are any breastfeeding groups in your area.

It's supposed to be such a joyful time and the hard truth is that it rarely feels like that in the first few weeks. But it really does get easier as time goes on and you all get to know each other.

Breastfeeding is time consuming and you can feel like you've lost a bit of who you are when you're drowning in muslins and endless nappies and constant feeds, and not getting to take care of your own needs. Think about what you might need each day and ask DH to make sure it is ready for you before he leaves for work for the next couple of weeks, especially while you're trying to figure this all out and getting to the bottom of these symptoms.

You've done amazingly well to get to nearly two weeks with all this going on and not having a bloody breakdown.

BFN: www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk

He's still screaming.
I'll answer your questions tomorrow, thank you very much for trying to help, things a bit stressful here tonight.

My DD had posterior tongue tie. Was missed several times and I had a hellish 12 weeks before finally spotted and snipped. Was a changed baby then. But you need a specialist to diagnose

Tongue is perfectly round at the front if that means anything

I quite understand OP. Do what you need to do to get through the night and I'll check back tomorrow to see how things are.

If you don't manage to get round to the questions just grab a sheet of paper in the morning and keep a note of things like nappies and feed timings so you have some sort of "evidence" that you can produce to show how things are.

It may be worth ringing your hv and see if she can pop round and weigh him if it's been a few days, and perhaps observe a feed and check latch.

Poor you! I've been here. It does get easier but this very much does sound like tongue tie and ineffective feeding. I only realise now how ineffective a feeder my first was. It was a very difficult time!!!

This will pass. Definitely get checked for tongue tie.

If you can afford it get a private lactation consultant, if not see a LLL volunteer.