Are you one of those people that others confide in and tell secrets to?

[OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny]

Is there such a thing as someone who just attracts those who want to spill their secrets? Someone who may as well have "tell me your deepest darkest secrets" tattooed across their forehead?

If so, that is me.

Twice in the last week! One of the secrets being fucking massive, the sort of thing that could destroy someones life.

Anyone else find that this happens to them.

Yes! Usually within about half an hour of meeting me as well for some reason.

My Dad. I remember being in Debenhams and we got on the escalator, buy the time we’d got to the top floor one of the shop assistants had given him her life history. Happens to him all the time

Yep. I get told I have a trustworthy face too. I wonder if the two are linked.

Yes, and all their problems. It’s exhausting isn’t it. I don’t confide in anyone

Historically yes and going back to high school when two separate girls disclosed abuse to me as a teenager

As an also seem to be the person that people freely breach other people's confidentiality to

I have no idea why.

Also seem to be a dumping ground for their problems and entire life stories

Used to, but no longer.
Thank fuck! I was sick of being used as a wailing wall or confession box.

Yes. I never tell either.

Yes, all the time, usually by complete strangers.

People come out to me... I have no idea why.

Yes. It’s quite lucky I’m good at keeping confidences even after hefty amounts of wine.

Yes, I’ve got one of those faces apparently that just invites confidences! It’s a running joke amongst people I know that if anyone is going to get backed into a corner on a night out being told about an affair or a cross dressing husband, it will be me!

Yes. I really don't like hearing about people cheating on their long term partners and husbands, or telling me about mutual friends problems. It makes me very uncomfortable around all involved.

Yes, I'm carrying some pretty big ones, I don't really understand it, I don't personally confide so I don't really understand why people chose me to be the one they tell, ,,,actually maybe it is because they know I don't confide that they do it, I'm also fairly blunt in real life so respond honestly.

Not me. I'm usually the last to know anything, even when it's close family and friends or something that will affect me massively. At least I'm not burdened with secrets but obviously not considered as close a friend or as important part of their lives as I assumed.

Yes, people talk to me a lot about all sorts, I think I’m just a good listener and empathise with them.

Yes. I've sat next to strangers on a bus and known their deepest darkest secrets by the time I get off.

My former hairdresser is dreadful for this actually and consistently tells me things that I'd rather have not known about other people, including the breakdown of someone's marriage that they wouldn't have told me and outing someone before they were ready to tell me.

I've changed hairdressers and now my DM just repeats her gossip to me instead.

Yes. In my case, I think it's because I'm an Aspie, and we make good listeners . We also provide a fair and balanced view on things, opposed to offering visceral emotional reactions to things. We are for the most part very accepting and see things logically. This, of course, is anecdotal and from my experience only. However, the autism traits described above have been known to be true and have been studied and documented by those who are experts in ASD.

People trust me with their secrets.
I never tell.
I wouldn't, even if I remembered what they told me!!

Yes. I know some very unexpected things. Used to worry me when I was younger but I'm fine with it now.
I think people sometimes just need to offload.

Yes I am. I don't mind. I used to think it was weird when strangers did it but I read an article once that said it's a recognised phenomenon that sometimes people tell more to a stranger than they would to a friend because a stranger is 'safer' in some ways - you are unlikely to see them again so no fallout, a stranger won't tell your friends because they don't know your friends etc. I suppose it's similar to people phoning the Samaritans.

Yes, sometimes.
There was another thread on here a few days ago about how there are certain people that others tell their problems to. I think this might be similar.

Yes!

I ended up saying to people, before they said anything, that I shared everything with DH (I didn’t but some secrets I really struggled to carry myself) so that they thought twice. It’s so exhausting sometimes! And awkward.

Yes. I think it's because I never know what to say, so I just sort of nod along, and people mistake it for listening.

My dad is exactly the same.

I don't really mind, as long as the people who do it don't mind that I'm not actually listening.