What is it like to have a Dad that loves you?

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Just curious really.

It's not something I had myself, nor did I have any 'father figure' relationships with paternal fondness. I used to crave having a dad when I was young.

I don't crave that anymore, but sometimes it strikes me as peculiar that I cannot remotely comprehend what it must be like to have one. Obviously, I have friends who have good relationships with their dads, but I have never had a conversation with them about what it's like.

What does it feel like? Is there a difference in the relationship you have with your mum?

My dad was like my own personal rocker Santa Claus. He of course had his issues but he went through life always looking for the funny, easy going side. He was very, very strict but oh so very loving and he contrasted my mum. Mum was practical but dad encouraged me to follow my heart and be responsible but never be afraid of stuffing in a little bit of fun. I miss him a lot.

I’ve had two rubbish dads. Both absent in different ways. So lovely to hear about all the good dads in the world.

My dad was my hero. My childhood memories are of him reading me bedtime stories at weekends (he was rarely home from work in time during the week) and he never shaved at weekends so on Sunday nights he's always rub his stubble on my stomach and make me scream with delight as I tried to stop him.
I used to spend Saturdays in the garden helping him - I had my own mini wheelbarrow, rake and spade and I used to follow him round the garden. He cleared a small flowerbed for me, bought me some seeds and showed me how to plant them and care for them.
I used to help him dig up veg from the kitchen garden and take them into the house for Sunday lunch.

As a teen he was exasperated by my mistakes and attitude but always forgave. Gave advice when it was asked for and kept silent but watchful when it wasn't. I remember him being so annoyed the night I went clubbing and realised I'd lost my house keys so rang him and woke him so he could let me in.

As an adult we went to the pub or for dinner every week. Sometimes I went over to my mum and dads house and we'd go somewhere local, other times he'd come to my house. When he came to mine he nearly always bought me a small bunch of flowers to "brighten the place up"
We chatted about everything and nothing and they are some of my favourite memories.
He was always there to offer advice about careers or DIY or relationships.
I miss him every single day. He took a large piece of me with him when he died that I'll never get back. Every triumph or happy occasion since has been bittersweet because he's not there to share it. I hate that he never met my now husband and didn't walk me down the aisle. I hate that he's still the first person I want to call when I get a new job or am excited about something and I can't.
I hate that I'm going to miss him for the rest of my days. But I love the fact that I had a great dad who was a wide counsel and friend.

wise not wide

I was watching Mrs doubtfire during the Christmas break. It's the bit where he's begging the judge to let him see his kids that always gets me. I know my father would never do that.

All I got was abuse growing up.. But I overheard a conversation at the airport behind me that honestly made me cry. It was a father just talking to his child with kindness after the child told him that he was scared.

When I was young I had a lovely relationship with my dad, he was my hero and we spent so much time together. I could tell him anything and he was always there. He used to take me too all the fun places that my mum was always too busy to do and we’d stay up late having fun. It was different to my relationship with my mum in that I never felt judgement or scared to say the wrong thing, I just felt loved and safe.

It’s a shame he then met a woman that wanted her own family with him without me and he fucked off too a different side of the country overnight and stopped seeing me when I was 10.

Even though it felt like my heart has stayed broken all these years, my mother never abandoned me and that is what matters