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Original poster

What is it like to have a Dad that loves you?

106 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 14/01/2019 14:15

Just curious really.

It's not something I had myself, nor did I have any 'father figure' relationships with paternal fondness. I used to crave having a dad when I was young.

I don't crave that anymore, but sometimes it strikes me as peculiar that I cannot remotely comprehend what it must be like to have one. Obviously, I have friends who have good relationships with their dads, but I have never had a conversation with them about what it's like.

What does it feel like? Is there a difference in the relationship you have with your mum?

OP posts:
WaterBird · 14/01/2019 19:55

Mine is great. We are very, very different people, but love each other and spending time with one another regardless. Funnily enough, our interests are different but our personalities are very similar. He (and my DM), would drop anything for their family members. I'm very close to my DM too.

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 14/01/2019 19:58

The time I first had a ‘dad loves me unconditionally’ moment I was a teenager. Not that I didn’t know this but I hadn’t recognised it.
I had taken his advice and been to speak with my a level maths teacher about needing extra help. It didn’t go well and the teacher was an obnoxious prick. I mean ‘you won’t amount to anything, have fun stacking shelves in safeway’ kind of arsehole.
I came home and he asked how my day was as he always did(he was retired) I burst into tears, really hysterical teenage sobbing about how I didn’t want to go back to school and was quitting maths.
He didn’t say much just picked up the phone and demanded to speak to the head of year, he went up to the school and really went to bat for me. They weren’t ‘those type’ of parents either.
He was always up before I went to school and would quietly hand me some toast on my way out the door just to make sure I had breakfast.
As a child I always felt Dad had no patience but looking back he was a great father.
I’m sorry you didn’t experience having a loving dad.

Pamspeople · 14/01/2019 20:00

Thanks so much for posting this question, OP. I never had a loving dad and I'm living reading these responses. I often wonder what it must be like to have a solid loving re with a man who isn't a partner.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Pamspeople · 14/01/2019 20:02

(loving reading, not living!)

Dowser · 14/01/2019 20:04

Was a bit claustrophobic at times but now he’s not here I realise it was his way of showing his life.

I’ll never forgot when he went ballistic when me and my 17 year old friend walked back from the top rank disco in Cardiff all the way to meyrick road in Ely. A distance of about 5-6 miles

I thought he’d never calm down.

The funniest thing is...we weren’t even from Cardiff ...just staying with relatives.

How I managed to get us back , never mind safely I’ll never know.

Dowser · 14/01/2019 20:05

Love not life

mummmy2017 · 14/01/2019 20:09

Think of a big Teddy bear, with his arms round you, that you could lean back into, and feel it's arms hug you....

motortroll · 14/01/2019 20:10

My dad is quiet and reserved but absolutely passionate about his favourite things. Classic cars and ballroom, dad rock on you tube and diy.

He's never been a cuddly dad but always dragged us out to the garage to help him do or make something as a distraction. He does this now with my kids. He always helps with homework but insists that you learn his way lol

He drove the whole length of England when I had a meltdown over my finals at uni and slept on the floor in my room.

He scrimped and saved his whole adult life so we could do music lessons and go on school trips and go to uni and have our own bedrooms. We were nowhere near well off. And now he offers money whenever we go to him in need. (And I'm 41!!)

He never once rejected or objected to a boyfriend and formed good friendships with my ex fiancé and now my husband but I know if we split up it would be all about me.

He tells a good story, loves a good debate and is well read and well informed. I love that he is intelligent and accepts alternative opinions. I love chatting with him. He totally gets me and he absolutely makes my christmases with his complete disregard for anything material, his insistence on sausages for dinner and his love of a good family board game.

He taught me about the importance of family. His family are awesome and so is he. He is one of my absolute favourite humans.

God I love him. I hate that he's getting old Sad

motortroll · 14/01/2019 20:11

Oh and he also means the world to my kids for all the same reasons. He spent years taking my kids to playgroup to give me a break spend time with young ladies and he hates other people's children lol

DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 14/01/2019 20:12

My dad is the best: he loves me unconditionally. He is clever, warm, funny, generous, kind and gentle. I am incredibly lucky to have him in my life.

HelloDarlin · 14/01/2019 20:19

My dad is very cuddly & loving. My mum is still crazy about him! I now have a similar type of husband, although different to my dad in lots of ways, he is a sort of father-figure to me.
My dad & me get on great, we’re going away for a trip together next month. I go away with mum as well & really enjoy my adult relationship with them both.

GrumpyOldMare · 14/01/2019 20:21

My dad is gentle,wise,kind with a dotty sense of humour.

He gives the best hugs.They make you feel loved and safe without him ever saying a word.

He has a nickname for me that no one else is allowed to use-it always makes me feel like a child again when he uses it and I love him for it.

Whenever I smell brut or old spice,I'm reminded of his hugs.

He worked a lot of extra hours when we were growing up so we never went without.Proof he loved us

He taught me to believe in myself and to have pride in myself and in what I do.Even at the age of 54 I still often stop and think ''how would dad react'' and try to follow his way. He's a real gentleman and I love and respect him so much and I know he feels the same.He's the best and if I could meet a man that's half the man he is,I'll be very lucky.

IncomingCannonFire · 14/01/2019 20:25

I miss my Dad. He died too young at 59. He was quiet and gentle. A very dry wicked sense of humour which only his closest friends and family would know about. Never a bad word to say about anyone or thing.
Despite never saying anything or ever being demonstrative or a hugger I knew he loved me (and my sibs). I knew if I needed he would have driven across the country for me.

FlagFish · 14/01/2019 20:25

My Dad adores me and my brother and would do anything for us. My Mum too. IME it gives you a great sense of security and self esteem to know someone always has your back.

artisanscotcheggs · 14/01/2019 20:26

I can't tell you either. My father left us when i was two years old, and my brother a baby. He refused to have anything to do with us. I tried to contact him about fifteen years ago to see if he would open a dialogue, but he told me to go away.

He made a few family and i have a half brother and sister I've never met.

I was supposed to be Alexandria. I ended up with a different name because my father didn't like Alexandria. My brother was supposed to be Adrian. He was also given a different name because my father said Adrian sounded too 'gay.' Homophobic twat.

His other kids? The girl's middle name is Alexandria. Her bro's name is Adrian. I have no fucking idea why he would want to do that. I hate him.

I'm glad he didn't wanna talk to me really. I don't want to know someone who's that fucking petty. Oh and he's also a policeman. He's technically retired but he chose to keep working apparently.

donajimena · 14/01/2019 20:32

Dowser that's hell of a walk!
My Dad is my favourite person in the world (other than my children) he's been in my life since I was two. I'm so bloody lucky to have a stepfather (I've never referred to him as this in RL) who loves me as much as he does. I'm very lucky because I love him too.

MadMum101 · 14/01/2019 20:33

I have vague memories of my Dad but I get the feeling I was very much a Daddy's girl (he left when I was 6/7 then my mother prevented contact). I had hoped those feelings would come back when I met him 32 years later but sadly he was a stranger.

I grew up with a very cold, judgemental, patronising, Sargent major type stepfather (in the military) who I intensely disliked.

I was often envious of DD's relationship with DH when she was growing up. He'd bring home sparkly hair clips for her and spend ages doing her hair in hundreds of tiny plaits which she loved (he was better at hair than me!). Took her abroad to visit his family on his own. She's an adult still living at home and is very difficult, wants to be treated as an adult but not to do adult stuff, so their relationship is a bit strained atm except when she wants a lift and emergency tampax! Hopefully it'll change for the back to better when she leaves home.

Makes me very wistful.

OracleOfDelphinium · 14/01/2019 20:33

God, this thread has reminded me that my dad travelled half way across the world to make sure I was okay (I was v sad and homesick) when I was abroad as part of my university course. When he left for the airport, he just gave me a hug and told me not to look round but to carry on walking in the opposite direction, and I would be fine. I have never cried as much as I did when I took his advice - but he was right, and it was a great year in the end. He is just the best.

ZsaZsaMc · 14/01/2019 20:35

These are so lovely, makes me cry!

expatmigrant · 14/01/2019 20:41

Personally did not have a close relationship within dad, but I watch my DH with our two and have to say that he is still absolutely besotted with them. DD is 25 and DS is 18. DH still supports them with his time and experience be it to do with jobs, university, relationships and sport. I have admit that both of them tell him back off at times but they know he loves them to bits and if the shit ever hits the fan, he will be there for them.
I often joke that I'm at the bottom of importance, kids, cats, then me.
One of the cats recently died so I've moved up a notch Grin

StealthPolarBear · 14/01/2019 20:44

Reassuring. Comfort. I'm 40 but still feel there's no probl I could come across my dad couldn't sort for me.

StealthPolarBear · 14/01/2019 20:46

Agree with pp about self esteem. I have always been the most important thing in my parents lives (well until my dc were born!). As I get older I realise just how much that has done for my self esteem, confidence and mental well being.

mamaduckbone · 14/01/2019 20:49

My dad was a lovely, lovely man.

He was a rock - so solid and dependable. He was always there when I needed him, from rescuing me when my car wouldn’t start, to giving me directions when I phoned him in a panic, lost, to bringing us home from hospital when ds1 was born, to fitting my kitchen cupboards.

Although I get on well with my mum, there was something special about the relationship I hadn’t with my dad. I was always his little girl.

He died 10 years ago and I miss him.

StealthPolarBear · 14/01/2019 20:49

And he's cut a hedge in the garden into a snowman shape for when it snows :)
He's wonderf, as is my mum
He also loves dad music. A few years ago we were there and he told us he was being treated for cancer. As we left 'on every street' by dire straits came on and I was in floods of tears. He is fine thankfully x

Bokky · 14/01/2019 20:51

My dad is amazing and always has been. He always played with us, was there for every important event, exam results, etc. He would also pick me up at whatever hour if I was alone and stuck in the middle of town on a night out (and still would if DH couldn't). One time, I missed the last train to Manchester from Stoke and he drove to Stoke to get me.

Even now in my 40's, he does our wallpapering and electrics, any odd jobs we need doing and is a fantastic grandad to our DD, who adores him. Couldn't ask for a better one to be honest.