What would you say is 'too young' to have children?

[erja]

Just a curious question. I always see threads about what's too old, what about too young (if you think there is a too young)? I see some people saying 23/24 is 'too young'.

Apologies for the crazy typos

I'm 22, my OH is 31, been together 5 years and we've seen every side of eachother now for sure, we bought a house together beginning of last year and are really quite settled. I work full time with a good career and so does DP. When I was around 17/18/19 I was going out and drinking and partying almost every single night, even in the week. Suddenly something just changed and I've completely gone off going out partying. On the odd occasion ill to to town with the girls but I mostly really enjoy being at home on the sofa with a glass of wine and days out walking the dog.
I feel like I've had my few years of immaturity and messing around and now I just want to settle down and start a family. I know I'm young, but in ready and my family agree that were in a good position in many ways to start now.

I did have a lengthy conversation with my mum about it as she was young when she had my older brother, she said she wished she had more time to go out and do things but given my personality and who I am that's not what I enjoy. Even with traveling and seeing the world, I've never really fancied the whole take a year out and travel business. I suppose it may stem from my anxiety that I like the quiet life..

So from a young person's perspective, I think it's perfectly fine at whatever age you want, reasonably, asking as you know you're finished doing the things that a family would restrict.

For me, not before 29/30. I LOVED my twenties. Uni, career, travelling, partying, met my dh, got a house. I would have hated to miss out on any of those things though I know everyone is different and has different desires.

I had DD at 20 and now, at 24, am starting IVF next week to have DC #2. I very much think it’s down to individual circumstance - I felt ready at 20 and even more ready at 24 ( TTC for 2 years ) but that’s just me.

DH and I did a fair bit of travelling before we had DC, I am glad now as I feel I have ticked a few things on my list in case we don't get there during our retirement after both DC have grown up.

Entirely depends on the person and the circumstances.

I was 20 when i had ds but had a good job / stable relationship / owned a house

A lot of 20yos arent in that situation and it would be much harder.

I dunno. Maybe under 18? But even then i know a few people who has kids at 17/18 and havr been brilliant parents.

Mid 20's is fine as long as you are in a settled relationship and have enough income to support yourselves etc. Unfortunately most young people struggle today at that age due to housing costs. It's about circumstances not age. I had mine at that age, we didn't get help from any one and it's hard both emotionally and financially however you do have more energy and they are fully grown before you are old!

I was 24. I felt young but not too young. I was married with a mortgage, a DH (older than me so more established in his career) with a good job and good prospects and it felt right for us. We decided to have kids first since DH's job could support us then I'd focus on my career later. I had 3 kids close together and was done with pregnancy by my 30's.

It was absolutely the right choice for us. The kids are older now, I'm establishing my own career and we will both be young enough to enjoy seeing our kids begin their own families etc and hopefully help out if needed.

I'd definitely rather be a grandma in my 40's/50's than dealing with toddlers or teenagers of my own!

In terms of too young I agree it depends on the person and circumstances but generally I'd say it's not great for teens who end up with kids. There are exceptions but mostly you are still legally a child until 18 for good reason. Very few teens are mature enough to deal with parenthood. Add a couple of years to mature a bit and find a partner who isn't a dickhead and you're good.

Under 18 is too young as that age you are considered an adult

I had mine in my mid/late 20s, 10 years before most of my peers .I'm now in my mid 40s my kids are almost grown ,its worked for me .I'm a single parent so next year when youngest leaves school ,a whole new chapter in my life begins

I had my two at 22 and 26. My youngest daughter has just had a baby and she's 21, she's had to add a few months onto the end of her uni placement but apart from that no other issues.
I'm now 48 with two grown up children, a good career, paid off our mortgage, still married, so I think we've done well considering people thought I was young when I had my first at 22.
I'm hopefully my 21 daughter will make a decent life for herself and her baby too, there's so much more to it than your age 😀

Had dd at 24 and ds at 25. I was
Not to young have been with dh since I was 14 married at 19 and mortgage at 20. What sup fixed me most when I went to since is I don’t see many mums my age at midwife appointments I always remember woman either a lot older or a lot younger.

My mum has me when she was 16 .... and I turned out bloody brilliant 🤣🤣

Obvs I was an accident but I'm so proud of my mum and how hard she's worked to give me and my younger brother wonderful childhoods. We were skint but happy! She made sure that I got a good education and good career.. l learnt from watching her work ethics.

I was 20 when I had my eldest and now having DC2 at 25. Felt a little young compared to others with DD but now, I don't think about it at all.

21 and under is too young. I know 2 people that both had a baby at 17 and in my opinion too young. They have both managed to turn their lives around though once their children were teenagers.
People probably thought I was too old when I had mine but I didn't think so.

@elasticfantastic bit off topic but what's the age difference between you and your brother if you don't mind me asking?

I had DS1 at almost 24 and DS at 28.

I was a very young 24 that had no idea how hard parenting would be, and never even contemplated I could have a child with SN (which DS1 has).

I turned very quickly from a spoilt brat into a great parent.I don't always get it right, I can always do better, but my sons are happy, loving and make me so proud.

They are now nearly 7 and 2.5, I'm glad I have so much energy to play and I don't regret a thing.

My friends are just beginning to think about having kids.They are more well-travelled then me and have really interesting lives, but we all made the choices that were right for us.

3 years... so she was 19 when she had him. She "had" to marry my dad when she got pregnant with me. He was an arse though, so after my brother was born , dad disappeared from our lives never to be seen again... another reason for how proud of my mum I am for how well she did

I would say under 18 as you're not considered an adult until then. I had my children at 21, 23 and 25. I wouldn't say too young at all but I am still at age 27 one of the younger mums at playgroups and people are often a little taken aback when I say I have another older child (the two youngest are with me there) . People are having babies later now but for me I was very ready, all the children have been planned and I didn't want to risk infertility issues. We have been very lucky that I have fallen pregnant first time with them all. I'm forever grateful for that and I do believe things wouldn't have gone so smoothly has I waited until 30+. They may have been but science shows we are less fertile passed a certain age.

And I am still happily married to my children's dad

Under 25/26. Before then a person is unlikely to have their own home, stable career, long term relationship and savings behind them.

I don't think there is such thing as too young, just 'not ready', for some the age to be ready is 18 and for others it's 38. An age can't tell you the stability of a relationship, how mature someone is and what experience they have about raising children and running a home.

If someone is in a stable relationship, working hard at their jobs, has experience and understands the reality of having a child then they are ready, doesn't matter how old they are. And IME its the older mums who are more selfish and resent having a baby, and the younger ones who really cherish their baby and focus solely on building their own little family. I'm yet to meet a young mother who isn't trying her damn best, but I have met plenty of older mums who couldn't give a shit about their kids.

Our family GP told me (in the early 70s) women should have their first baby by 25 because they were at their healthiest then. Things have changed quite a bit since then!
My sister married at 18, first baby at 19. I think she would say now that that was too young, but it really does depend on the individual.

It’s not a number but after education is finished, stable relationship, secure career and own home. Unlikely many will have this before 26.

Can I just ask for people saying there owning their home is a factor?

We here all the time about how many will get on the property ladder so what about those people?

Or is it just personal preference for some to want to own a home.

Once you have a stable home, can afford it, a partner and career/job path or decent education. Thus teens are too young. Yes there are exceptions to this as this thread proves but they are in the minority.