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Original poster

If nursery rhymes were on mumsnet...

111 replies

scrappydappydoo · 12/01/2019 11:20

My 3 monkeys were jumping on the bed one fell off and bumped his head. I phoned 111 but all the doctor said was no more monkeys jumping in the bed. AIBU to want medical advice and not for him to interfere with my parenting?

OP posts:
viques · 12/01/2019 14:04

I think my DS has special needs, although he is undiagnosed by professionals but I have looked it up on wiki,Google and YouTube and I think he has ADHD, ASD, and that defiance thing. He is a spirited child and I have always encouraged him to speak up for himself and to be independent. The other day I let him go out on his own to the fair, it was only round the corner , no busy roads to cross and he had my mobile number tattooed on his arm.

Sorry to drip feed but he has had issues with food refusal in the past so I have always encouraged him to eat whatever he fancies.

Anyway, on the way to the fair he met a pieman and asked for a bite of one of the pies. The pieman refused because my son didn't have any money on him. My son was really upset, he has already been xcluded from four schools and feels this is yet another rejection.

My AIBU is this, am I wrong to think Greggs staff should be trained better to recognise undiagnosed conditions and give kids like my lad --and I am the first to admit he is no angel and have taken his X box off him for the swearing - the benefit of the doubt when they say they are hungry but have no money?

viques · 12/01/2019 14:14

are there any sleep experts around? My baby is two months old and I am in despair about getting him asleep for longer than an hour at night. A friend has suggested I tie his Moses basket high up in a tree top. HAs anyone tried this? does it work? how high does the tree need to be?Are there likely to be any problems, I was a girl guide so am quite good with knots.

Original poster
scrappydappydoo · 12/01/2019 14:21

Viques - I wouldn’t my cousins SILs brothers wife did this and the branch broke and baby fell cradle and all.

OP posts:

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viques · 12/01/2019 14:28

Oooh how awful scrappy I hope the baby was ok. I think I'll have to ask his daddy to get him a rabbit skin next time he goes hunting, maybe that will work.

tazzle22 · 12/01/2019 14:30

Have you looked at the weather forecast viques... if it's sunny you will be fine.. if however the weatherpersons get it wrong and Hurricane Irma comes your way you might find the resultant mechanical movements make the bough a bit weak.

I hope you have installed safety equipment to current HSE guidelines no matter how expensive. If you can't afford the equipment you can't afford to procreate !

viques · 12/01/2019 14:44

you can't afford to procreate that's a bit harsh tazzle . ACtually my baby is the result of wrong information at the clinic. We were wrongly told that my partner was firing blanks which was clearly ridiculous because he is a hunter...

Anyway, read my update, we are going to try rabbit skin swaddling now.

elephantoverthehill · 12/01/2019 14:58

My Dd, let's call her 'Bobbin' has been peer pressured in to getting a boy friend and doingTD. She now had an STI. What shall I do?

tazzle22 · 12/01/2019 15:06

WWYD.

I am considering reporting my friend for not according her baby animals equal and safe living conditions in accordance with RSPCA five freedoms guidance.

She allowed the first one to go off unaccompanied to a large gathering of strangers where I have heard money changes hands and said little one could end up anywhere.

The second one she has left home alone and I am worried the house will burn down during the two minutes it takes her to fetch something trivial from the shop which is next door .... I mean she could get knocked over by a bus or locked in the shop.... or mugged...or get chatting to a friend...or forget her keys and not be able to get back in.!!!

I saw her serve roast meat to one of her little ones ...she surely cannot do this according to relevant DEFRA guidance .It must also be a nutritionally imbalanced diet.

Meanwhile the leaves the sibling to starve... not only is this very unfair nutritionally she has not according either of them choice as to whether to be vegan or not !

She then lost track of the fifth one while she was at the shop because she ignored suggestions to use buggy, reins or even just hold / watch the little mite. Poor thing was heard by several witnesses to cry out mournfully while running back towards home.

Do you think i should notify the authorities or am I being a nosey CF who thinks she's perfect...I have no experience of swine care btw !!!

I could just wait to see if there are five healthy little ones there in the morning ?

tazzle22 · 12/01/2019 15:13

OMG Vuiqes are you gonna sue the clinic ???? It is inexcusable that I made an assumption BUT.... that was a massive drip.feed. !

Rabbit skins sound exquisite...but are they PETA approved as apparently even the ones labeled as faux fur are either really rabbits ... or even cat/ dog or baby seal fur !!

tazzle22 · 12/01/2019 15:15

And sorry viques .... I hadn't RTFT was too.lazy to more than skim read as I am much busier than anyone else on here 😂

viques · 12/01/2019 15:24

tazzle no they wil be organic free range rabbit skins which my partner will source from a local field so no air miles either! If it works I am thinking of setting up a Facebook selling page where the skins could be personalised with a child's name in swarafski crystals? What do you think? I am thinking of calling them swaddleskins or bunny wraps.

I think your neighbour needs reporting, but I am not sure who too.

Sadik · 12/01/2019 15:26

Relationships: Just wondering about new boyfriend - do you think these are red flags? We've been on 4 dates so far, and I'm worried he is coming across very possessive. He's already offered to buy me a dishwasher (I'm a single working mum & time/money are tight) but now he wants me to give up my job as a pig farmer and stay home full time. He's lovely though and keeps bringing me strawberries & cream from his gardeners.

viques · 12/01/2019 15:28

elephant I think the only thing you can do is point to the window, no I mean point to the door. Of the local sexual health clinic.

Knittedfairies · 12/01/2019 15:36

I think my husband has punished our son excessively for liberating a pig from a neighbouring farm.

viques · 12/01/2019 15:43

I have got some White lavender growing in my garden but my boyfriend keeps telling me it is blue or green. he also keeps saying that when he is king I will be queen but he isn't in the royal family. Is he gas lighting me?

tazzle22 · 12/01/2019 15:52

I am soooop glad to hear that @ **viques , once we have all relevant info we can arrive at the correct point of view about parenting skills of fellow mmers.

If and when i have DC I will.purchase one of your gorgeous baby accessories so i can impress not only PETA but stylists / rich friends.

As to who neighbour needs reporting to... I've tried 111, 999, 211, my MP and EMP, the local vicar, the council, NSPCC, RSPCA, DEFRA, PTA, parish council, city council, planning department, housing association, forestry association, NT .

Everyone just says NIMBY... pass me on to anyone else.

I am now really concerned about the other five she has. !

MrDarcyWillBeMine · 12/01/2019 16:03

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe - she had so many children she didn’t know what to do!

Old woman - AIBU to think this is Universal Credits fault? I mean I live in a shoe and don’t have any bread for my children but I’m pretty sure I’m in no way to blame for my terrible lack of family planning or responsibility! My shoe is overcrowded and I haven’t had a holiday in 12 years!! Bloody UC!!!

rslsys · 12/01/2019 16:08

Anyone got a recipe using only 226 grams of cheap rice and the same amount of treacle?

Original poster
scrappydappydoo · 12/01/2019 16:22

Anyone know how to contact the council about the roads in Gloucester? My dh (who’s a dr) fell into a huge pothole Sad

OP posts:
MrsBodger · 12/01/2019 16:34

I’ve been dating this French guy, let’s call him Roly. It’s been going fine but - and I know this is going to sound shallow - his dress sense is just weird!!! I’d never even heard of an opera hat before now!!! Also he said something crazy about how he was going to keep dating me whether his mother would let him or no. Is this a red flag?

SirGawain · 12/01/2019 21:20

Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick.
So she called for the doctor to come quick, quick, quick. ....
AIBU to suggest that Miss Polly could have taken her dolly to the surgery and not wasted the doctors time on a home visit.

SirGawain · 12/01/2019 21:22

He wrote on a paper for some pills, pills, pills
“I’ll be back in the morning with my bill, bill, bill.”
AIBU in thinking that this is an example of creeping privatisation of the NHS?

SoundofSilence · 12/01/2019 21:34

Incy Wincy spider climbed up the water spout, but the council say they don't get rid of spiders and I'll have to use a private company. AIBU to think that my council tax should cover this?

EwItsAHooman · 12/01/2019 22:25

There's a farm at the end of our road, when all the cows are sleeping and the sun has gone to bed the bloody scarecrow starts chatting away about himself. The worst is when the moon goes behind a cloud, I don't know if he's afraid of the dark or what but at that point he gets VERY LOUD. WIBU to report him to the noise abatement team at the council?

MrsLJ2014 · 12/01/2019 23:05

There's this guy, known locally as Wee Willy Winkie, that keeps running around town in his dressing gown and tapping on windows. AIBU to feel a bit creeped out by him?!