Are all wedding readings twee or cringeworthy?? Help.

[freeAnneBoleyn]

Because I can’t find even one I like, except the extract from ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’, which I read out at my grandmother’s funeral... so that’s out.

All the others are either twee horrid things about taking the bins out or doing the washing up, (actually I’m going to have to give an example, it’s by Pam Ayres...)

‘Yes I’ll marry you my dear, you may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble dryer goes, its you that has to mend it’

It just goes on and on like that. It’s truly toe-curling.

Or pretentious. I love DH but I can’t compare him to a summers day, I doubt he’d say I was one either. It’s not a love that has had to endure the horrors of the Somme or Spanish influenza. (Thankfully)

We’re not religious. Nothing there.

I get it’s a public declaration of love and commitment etc but I’m finding the whole thing so wanky I’m horrid, I know, I’m just not outwardly sentimental in the slightest. I don’t want to have to surpress a scoff as it gets read.

DP is making me choose because I’m so bloody picky, he’ll happily just go with it if I actually manage to find one I don’t shred to pieces.

Can anyone tell me what they had at theirs, and why you chose it?

I think I have found my wedding readings from this thread

One of them is definitely the Joey Tribbiani one. My OH has basically said that's definitely going in!

If you're too cool and cynical to want to express any feeling, sentiment or emotion at your wedding, don't have a fucking reading! Just do the vows and get the whole thing over with.

I agree

From a Corelli reading chooser (who found the reading very moving actually and not at ALL unromantic, despite what the book is about, which I have read). Some people also seem to be complaining that the Corelli reading is completely unromantic and yet also at the same time complaining about the 'tweeness' of the ones that are romantic - wtf?

The truth is that however much you love your partner, you are not unusual, your relationship/love story is of course unique but is also mundane, as are most of life's big events, in that they happen to many many people and you are no exception.

Either you want to say something about your feelings/thoughts about your partner or your hopes for your lives together or you don't.

If you do want to say something- Stop trying to be "different" and choose something that reflects what you want to say (regardless of what others think). I know you are saying that nothing you have found fits, but really in the whole history of human writings you can't find anything that fits what you want to say - nothing at all???. If this really is the case you could write your own.

Or alternatively if you prefer not to say anything because you feel it is private (which is of course absolutely fine), then don't have a reading - it is really pretty simple

"Let's face it; our lives are miserable, laborious and short."

If I ever get married a third time I am definitely having this one , with the possible addition of 'so I may as well spend what is left of it it with you'

The Animal Farm quote is easily the best one.