Are all wedding readings twee or cringeworthy?? Help.

[freeAnneBoleyn]

Because I can’t find even one I like, except the extract from ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’, which I read out at my grandmother’s funeral... so that’s out.

All the others are either twee horrid things about taking the bins out or doing the washing up, (actually I’m going to have to give an example, it’s by Pam Ayres...)

‘Yes I’ll marry you my dear, you may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble dryer goes, its you that has to mend it’

It just goes on and on like that. It’s truly toe-curling.

Or pretentious. I love DH but I can’t compare him to a summers day, I doubt he’d say I was one either. It’s not a love that has had to endure the horrors of the Somme or Spanish influenza. (Thankfully)

We’re not religious. Nothing there.

I get it’s a public declaration of love and commitment etc but I’m finding the whole thing so wanky I’m horrid, I know, I’m just not outwardly sentimental in the slightest. I don’t want to have to surpress a scoff as it gets read.

DP is making me choose because I’m so bloody picky, he’ll happily just go with it if I actually manage to find one I don’t shred to pieces.

Can anyone tell me what they had at theirs, and why you chose it?

Sorry Johnny Duhan

I agree, OP. Most of them put me off the whole idea of marriage.

I’d probably go with John Donne if I were put to it, but they’re not easy to read if you have an unconfident speaker.

We had this

Roger McGough
Vow

I vow to honour the commitment made this day
Which, unlike the flowers and the cake,
Will not wither or decay. A promise, not to obey
But to respond joyfully, to forgive and to console,
For once incomplete, we now are whole.

I vow to bear in mind that if, at times
Things seem to go from bad to worse,
They also go from bad to better.
The lost purse is handed in, the letter
Contains wonderful news. Trains run on time,
Hurricanes run out of breath, floods subside,
And toast lands jam-side up.

And with this ring, my final vow:
To recall, whatever the future may bring,
The love I feel for you now.

And sonnet 29 but I guess you don't like it.

Maybe you just don't like talking about love. You don't have to have readings.

I love the Prophet but might be a bit too religious...

On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

@freeAnneBoleyn

Hmmm the Carol Ann Duffy was always one of my faves. I wonder if it’s to risqué. But I do love it.

If you like Carol Ann Duffy, 'Rings' is a lovely poem.

I love the Corelli passage, and have read it at a wedding. I think knowing the text makes it more poignant. Love, relationships, marriage, are all hard. Sometimes they'll be difficult, there may be separation, but roots are important. It's a beautiful piece of writing.

I also love the 'Nelly, I am Heathcliffe' passage from Wuthering Heights, but I appreciate that's not for everyone.

Look up the dinosaur love story by Edward monkton - is different and unique

We had:
"I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment... because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we lived."
Captain Picard -Star Trek Generations

And...

"Life is full of sweet surprises, everyday's a gift
The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my sprit
It fills me up with laughter, it fills me up with song
I look into the eyes of love and know that I belong"
Tiny Tim - Muppets Christmas Carol (Bless us all)

Oh Lordy 🤦‍♀️

We had Union but taking out the reference to lovers as I found it cringey enough knowing the whole room knew we would be together that night, never mind acknowledging in front of both families that it had happened before. And also the Art of Marriage. As we had a same sex wedding in a non religious building it was hard finding readings that weren't sickeningly twee, very gendered or religious. We both saved any we came across that we didn't hate and then read them again together a few days later and vetoed any we hated. We then pictured reading them in front of family and took out a few more, until we were left with those two. They are more soppy than I would have liked but we felt they suited our relationship and our wedding best.

If you can't find something you approve of, either wrote your own message Or don't have one.

Everyone searches for one special person
They can share their lives with.
The other half who makes them whole,
Like two notes blending together to make a beautiful song,
Or the colours that complement
Each other to form a rainbow.
It is everyoneย’s wish to have a lifetime of sunny days,
A rainbow after every storm;
A lifetime of loving and living and growing and giving,
Of sharing and caring; a lifetime of days together,
Learning from the bad times and cherishing the good times.
Marriage is everything your heart desires
And the strength, courage and determination to work for it.
In marriage you take care of each otherย’s heart
And hold on to what you share.
You hold it gently so it doesnย’t smother
And firmly so it doesnย’t slip away.
Hold it so that it can grow
And you can grow together
And live and laugh and love together always.

Maybe a bit twee and the last line reminds me of those awful wall stickers but we struggled to find one we both liked!!

Not live laugh love 🙈

We didn't tell anyone where the quotes were from, they were just said as readings. We spent ages looking at things but in the end we just went with quotes from 2 of our favourite films. The tiny Tim one may seem rediculous but it sounded lovely and seeing my mothers serious face as she read a quote from a frog muppet is a memory I cherish.

I didn't think marriage isn't beautiful was twee. It's not too gushy and sums up much of life.

Do this one:

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
and I am Marie of Romania.

I did the Gibran: The Prophet one at a friend’s wedding.
I also did a translation into French of Sonnet 29, and another friend did it in Scots - but it’s not as wanky as it sounds, as it was at a French/Scottish wedding. 🤣

Yup they’re mostly pretty cringe including, only in my ‘umble opinion, most on this thread. People often seem to go mad and don’t choose one which bears resemblance to their relationship or personalities in any way and it really jars with me. But a poem can beautifully and efficiently strike a tone if you manage to find the right one. I’d say keep it realistic and keep it short and don’t worry about it too much as I’ve only been married two years and it took me 15 mins to remember mine there...

I can’t believe the lovely love story dinosaur one is being suggested. Its the definition of twee: it’s called the lovely love story! Oh I don’t mind that she loves shopping and her little mind skips from one thing to another? I’m a fan of his greeting cards so I have to tell myself his editor did this one when he was out the office

Scaffolding by Seamus Heaney

“Oh I don’t mind that she loves shopping and her little mind skips from one thing to another?”

Quite!

Best ever reading I've heard at a wedding was the brides 9 year old nephew reciting from memory 'The Owl and the Pussycat'. It was very moving ...