@VittysCardigan, he's autistic (as am I) and is home for christmas which he hates. His dad and he clash a lot, his dad has OCD leading to hoarding and undiagnosed autism, they're very similar and very different and his dad holds him to impossible standards. In his dads eyes he can do no right. While his sister who has Autism is fine and his younger brother is also fine. He's frustrated with his mum and her inability to do anything to fix the problems and her passiveness in letting his dad run the house. They're a very traditional Christian family and dad is the head of the house, what he says goes no matter how arbitrary. He is a nice man, but difficult to live with especially for his wife and oldest son.
He wanted me to stay with them from the 21st till the 1st Jan but I could only stay till the 24th as I can't not be with my family on Christmas. When I visited I met his family for the first time which was eye opening and explained a lot about who he is and why he is the way that he is. When I was there I took a christmas card addressed to him by name and family saying love what with a kiss (because that's how you address cards) and according to his sister who I made very good friends with rather than pin it with the rest of the christmas cards he has it stashed in his room 
I now have another friend who visited one day the first day I was there griping about the fact that I got a christmas card from him.
I'm debating on if it's a good idea to message him to wish him a Happy New Year or not especially as I'll be sending his sister a message to wish her a Happy New Year as well. Can't decide if sending it after a lack of response to my prior message will make me look needy and spineless or the bigger person, but then I also run the risk of offending him if his sister mentions it to him.
Especially as I know he's struggling with being at home, apparently processing feelings towards me and meeting up with school friends he hasn't seen in almost a year, but I also know he has responded and messaged other friends. So I understand but I also think he's being an ignorant git at the moment. And I don't know if in my fever and hormone induced state I care to let it slide anymore. But then I also remember he is also rather 'young' for his age. He's just gone 21 and I'm about to turn 24 and we've had very different upbringings and standards of what is expected and acceptable behaviour. Which then makes me think do I really want to get involved in that beyond friendship right now, especially considering his immediate family who are lovely but would potentially be more demanding than my own, who tbh are demanding enough. And above all I want him to decide exactly what he wants and thinks and then bloody tell me because I am sick of the mixed signals and confusion. I'm aware that as I'm not exactly typical in how I view relationships that what I feel for him is an alterous attraction, where I'd be just as happy being his friend as I would be dating him but what I need is for him to clarify exactly what we are before I go insane or hit him.