Am I pathetic for staying in on NYE??

[Gemi33]

I am 35, single and most of my friends and family are married with children. I don't have a huge number of friends and most of them are staying in with their children/partners and I haven received any invites to anything so I will be in on my own on NYE. I don't particularly like NYE and suffer with anxiety so don't really mind being in and not having the hassle of going out but when people have asked me what I'm doing the reaction I get makes me feel like a complete loser and look at me pityingly. It makes me feel pressured to have super exciting plans and like I must be really boring because I haven't.

Am I pathetic? Is anyone else in a similar boat? Have you planned how you'll spend it?

xx

God, no! It's almost a relief now to have DC and use the "no babysitter" excuse to not have to leave the house. DH and I get a takeaway when the kids are in bed, drink some wine, play some board games and then have tipsy sex. Far more preferable to trying to get a cab home from a ridiculously crowded and expensive night out!

escapenextyearand bettyblueeyes83 you've put it much better than me, that's exactly how I feel. I sort of wish that I had someone to curl up on the sofa with but I've given up expecting that to happen tbh.

I think I'll light some candles, make a nice meal and drinks and curl up in front of the TV.

xx

Staying in here too. My OH is working till 20 and I'm working NY day so it will be a chilled relaxed evening.

I am working New Years Eve morning, I am meeting a friend for coffee in the afternoon (regular arrangement every month). I will be most likely in bed by 10pm and will be sound asleep by 12pm. The only impact new years eve will make in my life is I will remove my fitbit as it buzzes when I get text and will wake me with the generic Happy New Year Texts.

Do it! Doing it this year again... A few years ago I thought I was ok doing it and working either side of it so really couldn't go out... But I still felt that fomo when the fireworks went off and my friends called from the pub. So either be happy in your plans and stay out the loop..... So no fomo. Or just be so happy and snug and warm you just don't care. Doing it too this year but not alone so less pressure from others!

Not one bit pathetic. Night in for us. Cheese board, crackers and smoked salmon all round. Feet up film on, cosy family night in and bed at 10 unless feeling enthusiastic enough to stay up to watch fireworks on tv

Always overrated, going out in the cold and dark for no good reason. I'd rather be in bed!

I like NYE, welcoming the new year and all that, but we are with you OP. Staying in with the telly and buffet snacks...as though I haven’t eaten enough cheese in 2018..!

I split with my partner of 5 years earlier in the month, so I will be staying at my parents all night, probably moaning about being single! I wouldn’t be surprised if they are awake later than I am! You are definitely not pathetic!

I'm the same OP - single parent but my exH has stepkids with his new wife so my DD will likely be going to her dad's tomorrow. I plan to have a few bottles glasses of wine and watch whatever film I want. Wig lots of cheese Enjoy it!

Or *with, rather!

Also single and staying in for the exact same reasons as you, OP. Also receiving the same pitying looks which I had been letting get to me until I read your post and all the replies. So thank you lovely people! I think NYE is a bitch for making any insecurities we have about feeling lonely rise right up to the surface.

Nothing pathetic about staying in.
Unfortunately for me I'm working ( night shift ) so I don't get the choice.
My DH is Scottish so he celebrates NYE more than Xmas, unfortunately I will miss seeing it in with him at a party 😭
NYE should be done how you want it to be done, who cares what others think.
Happy New Year. X

Sounds good to me @Gemi33! Enjoy!

I am working on breezily telling non-single people when I don't have any plans and being clear that that's OK and I don't need pity or help - although not that good at it yet. I read a book this year called 'Doing Single Well' which talked about something called 'singlism' - fear and prejudice about being single - and since then I've started to see it a lot more in everyday interactions/responses to aspects of my life (eg utter amazement and lots of questions about me travelling alone - 'ooh you are brave, I couldn't do it'). I realised it's really about the other person and their fear of being alone (or sometimes their insecurities about their own relationship and investment in other people getting coupled up) and not about me personally. Although I wish things were different, I am fine on my own and very independent (something to be proud of and that's good for anyone to practise, single or not!).

Ill be on here for company tomorrow.too. not a fan of nye at all

We're staying in as I can't be arsed to leave the house. My husband is Scottish and thinks nye is brilliant, first footing, lump of coal and all that flim flam. I had various family members that phoned and asked what we were doing and I told them I'm not even staying up late lol. I really don't see the point to be honest.

I hate new year. Dominoes and bed by 11pm for me.

Have you ever heard of JOMO?
Joy of Missing Out?

I'll be on here tomorrow. We can revel in our uncomplicated single lives and compare tv and gin

I'm 36, I'm really pushing for my DH to go out tomorrow night so I can stay in on my own. New year's eve is always such a let down.

I always think there’s something vaguely depressing about NYE.

Happy to skip it ☺️

Two words: Netflix Marathon

Went out for Y2K next time will be for Y3K.

I've never been out for Nye even when I was child free and single.

I think the millennium broke the spell of NYE for a lot of people, me included, when bog standard pubs tried to charge people £50 entrance for a "party" and everyone thought fuck it, let's have a house party or stay in rather than face the pissed up crowds and not be able to get a taxi home. After that no one I know could be arsed with it.